100 Greatest Quotes from fundamentalist christian chat rooms

[XemnasXD]

lol now you sound like like everyone else on that page


congrats

[redneck]

lol now you sound like like everyone else on that page


congrats

You're just angry because God abandoned you because you're full of sin.
So now you must show your hatred for him trying to convince gullible people that god doesn't exist! Newbs...
[sarcasm button NAO]

[StuckUP]

[quote]Freedom for women to foolishly seek to be equal with men.[/qoute]

That made me extremely angry

[†erminal]

What does a functioning brain have to do with the Bible?

Athiests as a Majority

This is what it would be like, if the majority of people were athiests.
ATHIEST KID: Mom, I'm going to go **** a hooker.
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, son.
ATHIEST KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it's "not addictive."
ATHIEST MOM: Okay, come home soon!

The athiest kid leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later.

ATHIEST DAD: Hey!
ATHIEST MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since "fetuses don't count as human life."
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want!
ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom.
ATHIEST DAD: Why not?
ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men Farking eachother in there.
ATHIEST DAD: Why are they here?
ATHIEST MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet.
ATHIEST DAD: Okay, that's fine with me!

Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.

ATHIEST NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Christian outside!
ATHIEST MOM: We'll be right there!

The athiest couple quickly put on a pair of black robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a Christian is nailed to a large, wooden X. He is being burned alive. A crowd of athiests stand around him, all wearing black robes and hoods.

RANDOM ATHIEST: Damn you, Christian! We hate you! We claim to be tolerant of all religions. But we really hate your's! That's because we athiests are hypocritical like that! Die, Christian!

THE END

Scary, isn't it?

I honestly don't care about your rights. If it were up to me, all Atheists would be burnt at the stake and or cast into a river with weights tied to their ankles and or placed before the firing squad, etc etc etc.

Holy Farking shit dude.
These christans are Farking ASSHOLES
<Atheist and never worshipped satin, burned a christan at a stake, farked a hoe,smoked weed, ever agreed with homosexuality, although I think abortions are ok, seriously, damn im scared of you people now>

[†erminal]

What does a functioning brain have to do with the Bible?

Just rofl.

1.If we did evolve from monkeys then how come babies arent born monkeys

2.Even Darwin said his theories were wrong before he died so why do you still believe them

3.do you really not believe the bible it says we were created in seven days not millions of years

4.how come we cant speak monkey

Just for a fact ape like creatures are monkeys Just in case certain people get on this thread

DUDE this thread is great i love you

[redneck]

Freedom for women to foolishly seek to be equal with men.[/qoute]

That made me extremely angry

Made me laugh

[destructionmama]

I know a lot of really wise Christians that had PHDs in science and they still believe in God. Personally I think (if these are true) these people are ignorant Christians who have very very closed minds. being a Christian means actively seeking for the truth and thus gain faith from it in the process, not mugging up yourself in believing what you think is real. By investigating science we can question of God's existence.

just a thought. not Drawing any flames *goes and take a shower*

[Disconn3cted]

some of these things make me very angry and remind me why i became an atheist in the first place

but must of it was...HILARIOUS!!! ahahahaha monkeys don't live millions of years

[Reise]

RANDOM ATHIEST: Damn you, Christian! We hate you! We claim to be tolerant of all religions. But we really hate your's! That's because we athiests are hypocritical like that! Die, Christian!

Holy shit, this level of irony should be illegal.

[piootr]

so you think if no one believed in any religion there would be no wars or fighting? i think it would be worse. i know if i didn't fear god's judgement i would have killed many many times.

ahahahahhahaha.......dipsh*t

I hope one day, that you all scream out in pain from the Pits of hell at us in heaven, you jew Bastards!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... i havent lol'ed like this all year

[Barotix]

http://www.freejesus.net/home/viewtopic ... 3639#43639
we should totally register on this forum and stir up some shyt XD

[piootr]

we really really should, how about a new game. show us your odd and hilarious convos with the people on this forum

[Vindicator]

this is farking scarey..

Just recently my son Bobby came out to me. I had been worried for awhile. His teachers said most of his grades were slipping and he seemed depressed and withdrawn.

Bobby said he'd been hiding it for awhile because he was afraid I would reject him. I sat him down and told him that I loved him and that God loved him, but that his salvation was in danger if he did not resist his unnatural tempations. I told him how being gay would mean he would live a shorter life, and that if he couldnt change his orientation he could be celibate like most the ex-gays are. He started crying saying something along the lines of "I knew you wouldnt understand! You're just like everyone else!" before running to his room and slamming the door.

What did I do wrong? I dont want to lose my son, but I fear I already have. I talked it over with his therapist, who had the ludicrous idea that homosexuality was unchangable and that trying to repress could lead to lots of psychological damage (I've dropped him and will try to be finding another therapist with more moral beliefs). I wouldnt be surprised if he's the one who's feeding my son all the homosexual propaganda about how its 'ok' to be gay. That, or how homosexuality has engulfed the media, making it seem 'cool' and 'hip' and how they were just another oppressed minority. You didnt have to worry about seeing two men making out on tv at my age! I dont want to sound like a fanatic, but Im worried what other effects will come out of this increasingly secular, immoral society obsessed with filth.

Am I too late? Or is it possible to save my son


[Note: the boy eventually took his own life.]

I cant stand people with such ignorance to believe homosexuality is always a choice. Its not, and it rarely is. These people that posted this stuff on that site need serious help...they are so far from their god it is horrifying. No god that you believe in can save these people.

[StuckUP]

I thought Christian where supposed to be tolerant of other peoples religion, but I went to the site bartorix listed and I found it hard to believe. They had a whole page dedicated to flamingof Islam

[Vindicator]

I thought Christian where supposed to be tolerant of other peoples religion, but I went to the site bartorix listed and I found it hard to believe. They had a whole page dedicated to flamingof Islam

sadly, all religions have radicals. Sometimes radical christians are scarier and more deadly than the radical islamic fundementalists doing suicide bombings for nothing.

These people are extremely sick though, so sick i recommend some aided natural selection....because lets face it, some people just plain dont belong with ideas so out of whack and against mankind.

[piootr]

these people piss me off, i made a post and im gona f*ck around wiff em a bit

[LittleTom]

I'm a Christian and I don't agree with many things said by christians. Take the gay child scenario, I would have said I believe it's wrong for me, however, It's between the son and God to determine what he wants to do. If these people actually read the Bible they would realize that no sin is worse than another. Since all people sin, every human is as sinful as a gay person. I have no idea why people put such huge enphasis on it.

If this same thread had been made about Hindus or Muslims everyone would call the thread starter a racist(yes I know religion=/=race).
Apparently acceptence of a religion is subjective to if you like the religion or not. (yes I know everyone will call this statement ironic, but when have I ever not accepted anyone?)

[Draquish]

Someone who understands, even the BASICS of The Bible, would know that judging is a Sin. Don't judge.

[torinchibi]

ROFL, I am so making an account on that forum, just to show those dumbasses how stupid they are (and I am talking about the people that wrote those quotes,not christians in general).

On second thought, not enough people on that forum, and you can see how the admins lock everything that disproves their beliefs...

[Barotix]

I thought Christian where supposed to be tolerant of other peoples religion, but I went to the site bartorix listed and I found it hard to believe. They had a whole page dedicated to flamingof Islam

sadly, all religions have radicals. Sometimes radical christians are scarier and more deadly than the radical islamic fundementalists doing suicide bombings for nothing.

These people are extremely sick though, so sick i recommend some aided natural selection....because lets face it, some people just plain dont belong with ideas so out of whack and against mankind.

http://www.freejesus.net/home/viewtopic.php?t=8740 lulz

@piootr, link plox

Just a reminder. No matter how funny you find these quotes, racism will NOT be tolerated on SRF.

Reinforcement and repetition m8 always works

Just a reminder. No matter how funny you find these quotes, racism will NOT be tolerated on SRF.

None of this falls under racism, but I'm going to assume you meant discrimination of religions.

hmmm.... i see what you did there. i declare good sir 100000 million years of eternal damnation /sarcasm

@soda, now my quotes look stupid

[Jstar1]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5nTw0WbjqRU

old but mind-numbing when I first saw it

lol taliban in the iowa senate wtf

that isn't christianity but a distortion of christian beliefs

[StealMySoda]

Just a reminder. No matter how funny you find these quotes, racism or 'discrimination' will NOT be tolerated on SRF.

[Xyzzzy]

Just a reminder. No matter how funny you find these quotes, racism will NOT be tolerated on SRF.

None of this falls under racism, but I'm going to assume you meant discrimination of religions.

[StealMySoda]

Just a reminder. No matter how funny you find these quotes, racism will NOT be tolerated on SRF.

None of this falls under racism, but I'm going to assume you meant discrimination of religions.

Fixed

[LittleTom]

"I find your lack of faith disturbing"

Because it was bound to be said sooner or later.

[Xyzzzy]

Just a reminder. No matter how funny you find these quotes, racism will NOT be tolerated on SRF.

None of this falls under racism, but I'm going to assume you meant discrimination of religions.

Fixed

Thanks Soda, just a strange pet peeve of mine

[Silkroad]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5nTw0WbjqRU

old but mind-numbing when I first saw it

lol taliban in the iowa senate wtf

that isn't christianity but a distortion of christian beliefs

i actually saw a 1 hour documentary about that family ... it was posted on here some time ago i believe

[torinchibi]

Lol, I watched that video, then beside it were a bunch of "Crazy Christian" video titles, so I watched 1 or 2... then jumped to one where all these TV preachers are extorting money from people through donations, and I came to wonder why there's no atheists doing that..."GIVE ME MONEY OR I WILL EAT YOUR BABIES!!!"....That would be a hilarious sight.

[Disconn3cted]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCh2FXzD6R4

heres another crazy Christian lady um i can't tell if she's serious or just joking..

[Foilin]

I agree that alot of these people are narrow minded. but you thinking that all Christians are like this makes you equally ignorant and hypocritical. there will always be people like that and there will always be people that give athiests bad names. so chill the ^&$@# out. Because remember! the internetz are srz bizniz. You can't Expect a christian to get it right every time