I'm the new face of 'JACKED' supplements

Stallowned · Post by **Stallowned** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 9:00 am

So last saturday morning im in the gym, tearing up the 200lb dumbells and the gym manager comes over and starts giving me sh1t about snapping sum bars squating n sh1t. Hes like "those bars werent built to handle that kinda weight" so i tell him "your face wasnt built to handle my 18's" so he backs off like a pussy and goes back to his desk.

Im half way into my 5 hourr routine, musta had about half a ton over my head when some guy in a cheap assed suit comes over. His glasses damn near cracked seeing me shifting some serious pounds. Im like "what the **** u want son?" and hes all sorry n sh1t for bustin in on my session. He tells me hes from some huge ass company, they heard about me, how im serious sh1t in the muscle world, they had to send someone down to check on this polish revolution.

Hes all ike "we want you to back our new supplment" so i throw down the weights and tell him "go find a protein pussy, im natural jacked" but hes all grinin n sh1t telling me their new blend is 100% prtoeins free, meant for professional athletes like me. Tells me hes got a quarter mil in his briefcase and a first class ticket to the labs to do some testing n sh1t, see if im on board.

Flew out to the lab thst night, some kind nasa sh1t, they got pictures of me all over the walls, studying my jacked frame, wanna know how my muscles work. Hook me up to sum machines, testing my strength, scene like right outta Rocky 4 except i aint no fake ass actor, .Went off the scale on every damn test, got f@gs in white coats running all over the place, alarms going off everywhere, musta blown the computers or sum sh1t, they aint built to calculate muscle this dense. One guys tries to xray my biceps, see how deep these diamond cuts go, problem is the pussy assed xrays cant pass through my fibras, turns out my body is like a piece of lead, theyaint never seen sh1t like this before,

ABout an hour later and they bring me some samples, got my face on the container, marketing knew my polska good looks will help shift a couple hundred million boxes of this sh1t. Comes in two flavors, vanilla and jack daniels. Im like "this sh1t work?" and the management starts laughing "hell, no, its just grounded up bones n sh1t, meant for pussys with weak ass genetics who cant grow muscles natural" Me n the directors hollering for a good 20 mins at the thought of those b1tches who buy this sh1t thinking they gonna get jacked. just a pay day to me though son.

Signed a couple hundred autographs for the directors n workers, got in a quick bicep workout then flew the **** home with another 2 mil.

Midori · Post by **Midori** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 9:45 am

oh, no, it can't be.

i actually laughed at this one though.

Post by **Doron** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 10:58 am

That writer has got some isseus to solve...

Anyhow, funny story....

Even though I didn't understand half of it...

Still funny....

.//curb · Post by **.//curb** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 11:34 am

christina · Post by **christina** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 11:45 am

.//curb wrote:

LOL
Btw alright stories..

Website · Post by **satman83** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 11:51 am

¬_¬

MrFudge · Post by **MrFudge** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 11:55 am

200lb dumbells?

LOL

Gh0d · Post by **Gh0d** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 12:54 pm

This is gettting worse and worse

MrFudge · Post by **MrFudge** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 1:02 pm

you could be the new face of Rogaine if you wanted.
That receding hairlines gettin pretty bad.

Trice · Post by **Trice** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 1:07 pm

I like how he put "Jacked" in bigger letters, it shows he can take the fact his stories are all jacked off another website. Or that he didnt realise. But i prefer to think its the first one, thumbs up stall.

OT: once again i failed to read the story, but i do look forward to the flame war

Swindler · Post by **Swindler** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 1:53 pm

nice story;) pretty funny

Vibrator · Post by **Vibrator** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 2:36 pm

Going bald arent you my friend ? Yout stories are shit but you can take part in one of those cheesy hairloss commercials. Polish FTL.

Barotix · Post by **Barotix** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 3:01 pm

Vibrator wrote:Going bald arent you my friend ? Yout stories are shit but you can take part in one of those cheesy hairloss commercials. Polish FTL.

Vibrator walk away before you make a fool of yourself; aren't you learning from the other flames, or you gonna continue feeding the fire until it burns you?

OT: nice story

[size=0]hated the story, but don't want to spark a war[/size]

XemnasXD · Post by **XemnasXD** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 3:08 pm

Comes in two flavors, vanilla and jack daniels

i think thats sig worthy...im still debating it though

Blurred · Post by **Blurred** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 3:13 pm

lol i liked this story

No reply · Post by **No reply** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 4:43 pm

http://www.boxingscene.com/forums/archi ... 17081.html :roll:

pretty entertaining though, gave me a good laugh

MrJoey · Post by **MrJoey** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 4:47 pm

So far I've liked most of your stories, but this one wasn't as funny.

Crumpets · Post by **Crumpets** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 5:50 pm

And still people try and disprove Stall's stories.

Load of Farking cunts.

redneck · Post by **redneck** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 5:52 pm

Vibrator wrote:Going bald arent you my friend ? Yout stories are shit but you can take part in one of those cheesy hairloss commercials. Polish FTL.

GTFO whatever you Farking are...you and your polish ftl..u better stfu because your face wouldn't be able to handle my 16s..

OT: LOL at those protein pussies.

Sleepy1338 · Post by **Sleepy1338** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 5:52 pm

These are effin hilarious, I dont understand why people be hatin..yo..

Vibrator · Post by **Vibrator** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 6:22 pm

redneck wrote:
Vibrator wrote:Going bald arent you my friend ? Yout stories are shit but you can take part in one of those cheesy hairloss commercials. Polish FTL.

GTFO whatever you Farking are...you and your polish ftl..u better stfu because your face wouldn't be able to handle my 16s..

OT: LOL at those protein pussies.

Ok ok dude chilll chilll was just a joke. if i was intending to flame i woulda already posted X5 post in here.

CrimsonNuker · Post by **CrimsonNuker** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 8:02 pm

satman83 wrote:

¬_¬

LOOOOOOOL MY FAVORITE PIC!.

Ichimaru420 · Post by **Ichimaru420** » Sun Dec 30, 2007 8:05 pm

Haha these stroies make my day.

Stallowned · Post by **Stallowned** » Mon Dec 31, 2007 3:23 am

Reise · Post by **Reise** » Mon Dec 31, 2007 3:25 am

Lmfao

Pic and sig: brilliant and made of epic win.

BrokenSaint · Post by **BrokenSaint** » Mon Dec 31, 2007 3:25 am

paint for the lose?

Stallowned · Post by **Stallowned** » Mon Dec 31, 2007 3:26 am

Ichimaru420 · Post by **Ichimaru420** » Mon Dec 31, 2007 4:00 am

LOOL where can I buy some

darkmaster21 · Post by **darkmaster21** » Mon Dec 31, 2007 4:08 am

Right...

Caras · Post by **Caras** » Mon Dec 31, 2007 4:32 am

Didn't find it funny :\