Men...

Isis · Post by **Isis** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 9:04 pm

One for the ladies
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, 'University of Oklahoma .'

And they say blondes are dumb...
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A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'
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'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbours would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.

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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumour
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* Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
AMEN
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-
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
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Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'
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Send this to bright, funny women you know and make their day!
And send this to bright men who have enough sense of humour to take it!

Snudge · Post by **Snudge** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 9:06 pm

Bastet wrote:Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumour

I'm a rumor.

Meow · Post by **Meow** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 9:07 pm

Haha nice..I giggled

Rivalry · Post by **Rivalry** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 9:14 pm

Made my day.

Amelie · Post by **Amelie** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 9:24 pm

Bastet wrote:
A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'
-----------------------------------------------------------

that was so hilarious!!

Post by **Rainigul** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 10:22 pm

That was great, but 6 and 8 were kinda contradictory.

Still badass though.

Draquish · Post by **Draquish** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 10:49 pm

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'

I giggled*

Post by **Rainigul** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 10:52 pm

Bastet wrote:Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
----------------------------------------------- --

Lol, this one was the best, but it's little girls that whine. At least in my experience.

XemnasXD · Post by **XemnasXD** » Tue Sep 11, 2007 11:06 pm

have we solved the toilet seat mystery yet?

Jstar1 · Post by **Jstar1** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 3:47 am

Belgarath wrote:I smirked a little.

In response to being plugged in to an idiot.

You get AIDS.

+1

Fat_Smurf · Post by **Fat_Smurf** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 6:31 am

XemnasXD wrote:have we solved the toilet seat mystery yet?

cause they fall in?

TacticalMedic · Post by **TacticalMedic** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 7:38 am

Fat_Smurf wrote:
XemnasXD wrote:have we solved the toilet seat mystery yet?

cause they fall in?

Im not quite sure its that

But you never know, maybe....hygiene (sp?) reasons

alienjep · Post by **alienjep** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 9:07 am

hahaha nice jokes...

EDIT:yay!!! my 100th post

TOloseGT · Post by **TOloseGT** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 9:09 am

i hate men, they steal women from other women.

TwelveEleven · Post by **TwelveEleven** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 1:16 pm

TOloseGT wrote:i hate men, they steal women from other women.

I love lesBIens though

..

takolin · Post by **takolin** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 8:05 pm

I didn't find them that funny.

> >An elderly couple is vacationing in the West. Sam always wanted a
> >pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale one day, he buys
> >them
> >and wears them home, walking proudly. He walks into their hotel room and
> >says to his wife, "Notice anything different, Bessie?"
> >
> >Bessie looks him over, "Nope."
> >
> >Sam says excitedly, "Come on, Bessie, take a good look. Notice
> >anything different about me?"
> >
> >Bessie looks again, "Nope."
> >
> >Frustrated, Sam storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks
> >back into the room completely naked except for his boots. Again, he
> >asks, alittle louder this time, "Notice anything DIFFERENT?"
> >
> >Bessie looks up and says, "Sam, what's different? It's hanging down
> >today, it was hanging down yesterday, and the damn thing will be
> >hanging
> >down again tomorrow."
> >
> >Furious, Sam Yells, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY THE SON OF A BITCH IS
> >HANGING DOWN, BESSIE? IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S
> >LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!"
> >
> >To which Bessie replies, "Shoulda bought a hat, Sam..... Shoulda
> >bought a hat."

I hereby excuse myself for the "> >"'s, I'm too lazy to delete them.

Shadowman20818 · Post by **Shadowman20818** » Wed Sep 12, 2007 8:08 pm