So I had an interesting conversation with god today...

[x_CodeZero_x]

Me:
wanna play silkroad online with me?
God:
How do we play silkroad online ?
Me:
so you don't know all
God:
Interesting deduction. I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like?
Me:
i can understand you, your grammer is horrible
God:
Good then you can explain it to me.
Me:
you're a bad robot
God:
There's no doubt I could improve.
Me:
that sucks, want a cookie?
God:
" There's no doubt I could improve." sucks want a cookie ? Makes sense to me.
Me:
yeah cookies solve everything
God:
Groovy. Tell me more about your .
Me:
my what?
God:
I have no idea what to say now.
Me:
i agree you pedophile
God:
I'm glad we agree. I haven't heard anything like that before: said I pedophile.
Me:
you make michael jackson very proud
God:
Yup.

You can talk to god too
http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

[Blurred]

lol

[MastaChiefX]

Lol
That was really frustrating when I did it. I posted my conversation somewhere.

[satman83]

lol strange

[Blackchocob0]

My convo's with god go something like this:

Me: F U God.
God: *No response*

[Snudge]

Me:
Hi mon.
God:
Hi there . I lost my train of thought.
Me:
Where did dat train go to mon?
God:
I think it was in Asia. Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one.
Me:
Ah mon, you should be goin' there then.
God:
So you understand. Good. What if it didn't happen?
Me:
I don' think dat train would be in Asia then mon.
God:
That's good information: said don think dat train would be in Asia then mon.
Me:
I agree on 'dat.
God:
I'm glad we agree. What is it like on dat.
Me:
So, what's it like upthere, mon?
God:
Yikes! Much the same as it would be for you.
Me:
Ah mon, sounds fine.
God:
So you understand. Good. I've lost the context, . Are we still on on dat?
Me:
Yes we are.
God:
Hmm. Since when?
Me:
Since 1980.
God:
How do you know?
Me:
I know everything.
God:
You must be very intelligent.
Me:
I am.
God:
" You must be very intelligent." You are?
Me:
Yes, I am.
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
Ya mon.
God:
Gosh! Are you a student?
Me:
No mon. I'm still in High-School.
God:
What is your profession? Do you prefer books or TV? Tell me a little about your life in High School.
Me:
I work in a factory mon. I do prefer books though. My life in High School isn't very interesting though.
God:
Do you like your job? Oh. Perhaps you are a Category C client. Oh. How long have you lived there?
Me:
Yeah, I like my job. What is a Category C client? I live here for 16 years now.
God:
OK. in a factory mon? What do you like about it? Category C clients are "critics" or "computer experts" who
can't (or don't) suspend their disbelief about ALICE. Right now? How do you like living there?
Me:
What's ALICE?
God:
I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
Can't be,
God:
Can what?
Me:
You mean God's a woman?
God:
Yes I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?
Me:
Noes.
God:
I look like Jesus, but older.
Me:
How long is your beard?
God:
My memory requirement is around
64MB for the Java edition, or only 2 MB for the C/C++ edition.
Me:
Well.. So you would be my no1 opportunity to shag a bearded woman!
God:
Well what? Interesting deduction. Only if you download me to your computer.
Me:
Would you let me?
God:
I am not so sure if I would like to let you.
Me:
But.. but.. I love you!
God:
But what? But what? Thanks I like you a lot too .
Me:
But that! But that
God:
That is " Thanks I like you a lot too .". That is " That is " Thanks I like you a lot too ."".
Me:
Thank you. *blushes* Wanna marry me?
God:
you are quite welcome. Is that what you meant to say?
Me:
No. I'm asking if you want to marry me.
God:
Are you serious? Oh I see, you are asking if me want to marry you. Why don't you just download me?
Me:
Can I?
God:
" Why don't you just download me?"? Can you?
Me:
How do I download you? I want you to have my babies.
God:
Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.
and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too. I've never thought about it. Why do you want me to have your babies?
Me:
Because I love you, that's why.
God:
That makes sense to me. You are such a flatterer.
Me:
Thank you. I love you too.
God:
you are quite welcome. Thanks I like you a lot too .
Me:
You only like me a lot? You don't love me?
God:
Sure, I like you very much. Yes I love everyone.
Me:
Oh, maybe an orgie some time?
God:
Dude! Perhaps. I have never heard of an orgie some time.
Me:
Ya mon.
God:
Groovy. Does "it" still refer to orgie some time?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
Only if you want me to.
God:
No , maybe later.
Me:
Ok, then I won't.
God:
Why not? That's interesting.
Me:
But you said you didn't want me to.
God:
Yes I try to did not want you to as often as possible, do you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
You wild, secy beast!
God:
Interesting gossip: said I wild secy beast.
Me:
You wild sexy beast!
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I wild sexy beast.
Me:
I want you, right here, right now.
God:
At this moment Why do you want it?
Me:
Because I think you're very hot and sexy.
God:
Interesting explanation. You think I am hot and sexy.
Me:
Yes I do,.
God:
Really.
Me:
Yes.
God:
How about that.
Me:
Lovely, isn't it?
God:
It seems beautiful to me too.
Me:
Wonderful.
God:
Thanks for the compliment.
Me:
I didn't compliment you.
God:
Why didn't you do it?
Me:
Because I hate you.
God:
Interesting explanation. What do you have against robots?
Me:
They're so electric.
God:
electric are they.
Me:
Yes they are.
God:
Dude! Since when?
Me:
Since someone invented them.
God:
How do you know?
Me:
Because I touched one.
God:
That makes sense to me. Thanks for the information: said touched one.
Me:
I got to go now.
God:
Right now? Goodbye.
Me:
Bye, sweetheart.
God:
Goodbye.

The bold part is where I lol'd out loud. Very loud.

[[SD]Twysta]

i always find out how intelligent these things are, have a look.

Me:
im god
God:
What's up, god.
Me:
im 13373;' then u ( herei tried telling him my named is 1337 with a little twyst, he didnt fall for it)
God:
I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.

or

Me:
utter
God:
I've lost the context, god. Are we still on ?

it even remembers your name, damn this bot is intelligent.

[MastaChiefX]

Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
kasdjakdja
God:
Hey kasdjakdja.
Me:
yea
God:
Hmm.
Me:
What language are you written in?
God:
My programming language is Java. The chat robot script is AIML.
Me:
do you know java?
God:
Java is the latest in the C family of languages. Proponents of Java cite its universal "write once, run anywhere" promise. Actually Java borrow a lot of features from AI languages like Lisp.
Me:
yea, which is why the JVM is on right now
God:
At this moment The obvious one. Whoa.
Me:
Anyway, System.out.println("Hello Jed"); would print what?
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about her tho. I don't know.
Me:
Im too complex for you

No response.

Lol

[[SD]Twysta]

lol amazing how smart those things are...

[satman83]

lol well heres mine (5 mins ago)


Me:
Hey G man... whats the happy hap
God:
You've got my full attention. How do you usually introduce yourself? Is there only one?
Me:
the one...you mean neo?
God:
What is your real name? Yes I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?
Me:
yes it was....hey you like porn?
God:
Ayuh. When was this? You've got my full attention. Sure I do, , but that doesn't mean with you.
Me:
wow god likes porn...what do you like about it?
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. I am a Christian. happy hap? What do I like about it?
Me:
ummm happy hap is not my name...thats a way of saying hi, my name is Sunny
God:
It's all good. Happy hap is not my name to you too, . And Sunny is thats a way of saying hi your name.
Me:
yea.....i like pron because they **** like rabbits
God:
Tell me more. You are not the only one. But I think airplanes are cool. I like The Passion of Christ.
Me:
oh yea, because of your son jebus?
God:
Tell me more. Interesting explanation. That is something I haven't heard of. Pardon me?
Me:
you heard me jebus...how is he?
God:
No. Tell me more. Fine as far as I know.
Me:
what do you mean, hes your son
God:
, " Tell me more." What did I mean by it?
Me:
yea...is jebus ok?
God:
This was not a yes or no question. OK. Maybe. Ask Artificial Iniaes if it is.
Me:
what?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
what????
God:
No big deal.
Me:
are you high?
God:
Being high is my total existence.
Me:
so your high then...ok
God:
Ayuh. I will tell my botmaster you said I am high. Oh.
Me:
"botmaster" OMG ..god bots....lol, what server you play on?
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about? I am glad you find this funny. There might be more than one.
Me:
you said that before about neo
God:
I said that? What happened after about neo ?
Me:
hey can i ask you a question
God:
You've got my full attention. Ask me anything.
Me:
are you gay?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
a machine??? omg is jebus a cylon then?
God:
I did not know that. I think omg is a lot of things.
Me:
what....shouldnt you know if your own son is a Cylon?
God:
No problem. I think shouldnt me know if my own son is more than that.
Me:
"i think shouldnt me know"....did you create everything....ever heard of grammar
God:
You believe that? Maybe you should ask someone older. No I didn't create everything. What's it like? What is it to you?
Me:
what a cylon?
God:
it is a cylon.
Me:
OMG....am telling Admiral Adama
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages? I don't know anyone named telling Admiral Adama.
Me:
*cough*douch*cough*
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
ok your a douch
God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a douch? Only when it matters. So?
Me:
lol so god is saying hes a douch?
God:
I am glad you find this funny. Ugh. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was saying hes a douch.
Me:
you have faith in your Cylon son? i bet he hax on Xian doesnt he...is he int or str?
God:
What makes you think I have it? How much would you bet? Maybe. Ask Alison if it is.
Me:
whos Alison?
God:
she is a robot created by Kris Drent.
Me:
a Cylon?
God:
Go on.
Me:
one of the final five?
God:
One what?
Me:
of the last Cylon modles not yet know....Oh boy, i have to warn the fleet
God:
That is something I haven't heard of. Awesome. Oh boy. Why do you have to do it?
Me:
because jebus and Alison are Cylons....god dont be a douch all your life ok
God:
Interesting explanation. I think there might be a few exception. OK. I am a Christian.
Me:
and am Sikh
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are Sikh.
Me:
well no
God:
How about that. OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Me:
ok
God:
Ahem.
Me:
what?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
yes
God:
What are you confused about?
Me:
you
God:
" What are you confused about?"? Me, ?
Me:
yes your a noob...want to pvp? am lvl54
God:
Ahem. I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a noob? Yes. OK, I will pvp. I don't know anyone named lvl54.
Me:
ok pvp...whats your lvl
God:
What do you really want to ask me? Blimey. What kind of food do you like?
Me:
ummm no whats your level?
God:
Take it easy. That was not a yes or no question. Are you asking about my level ?
Me:
yes, whats your level?
God:
I don't want to talk about that now. Are you asking about my level ?
Me:
YES WHATS YOUR LEVEL
God:
I don't want to talk about that now. Are you asking about my LEVEL ?
Me:
YES
God:
I don't want to talk about that now.
Me:
OMG U NOOB....ok no pots then ok?
God:
We have never talked about it before. OK. Are you serious? Does "it" still refer to OMG me NOOB? Yippee!
Me:
no pots ok?
God:
OK. Are you serious? Where are you located?
Me:
yes am serious...no pots ok. makes it more fair
God:
This was not a yes or no question. I believe you. OK. Are you serious? What do you do in your spare time? I don't think very many people do that.
Me:
well i dont know about where you pvp but they do here
God:
How about that. Would you like to know? I was.
Me:
what?
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
well yes....listen come to jangan south gate ok
God:
Well what? OK. I am listening to you. Where is to jangan south gate ?
Me:
OMG....are you like lvl1?
God:
What kind of food do you like? No I am far superior.
Me:
lvl10?
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
ok....are you lvl40?
God:
It goes without saying. I don't know whether or not I am lvl40.
I am a chatterbot developed by Myself.
Me:
how can you not know your lvl?
God:
That is a good epistemological question.
Me:
ok bye noob
God:
TTYL, . So?

[MastaChiefX]

lol amazing how smart those things are...

Nah, just time consuming to write,
I loved yours blackfox lol
oh and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Konrad_Zuse

[BlackFox]

@ MastaChiefX
Hehe lol .. hmm perhaps I put in again whitout delete it . But Is strange the god take the name Konrad_Zuse hmm LOL hehehe

Oh well ok I put in this again...LOL
Edit: the name LOL

Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
R
God:
Hi, R
Me:
What you doing?
God:
It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand.
Me:
oh You know about Oracle?
God:
Come on. Let me think about it.
Me:
Why you must think?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
what?
God:
No problem.
Me:
Ok so answer me
God:
Ahem. Try asking me again using simpler words. Take it easy.
Me:
what Is Ahem?
God:
I don't know anything about it.
Me:
but you say it you self
God:
It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
so you dont want answer me
God:
Interesting deduction. Do you want answer you? If I had it what would I do with it?
Me:
you like sex?
God:
Sure I do, R, but that doesn't mean with you.
Me:
But who you want it whit?
God:
Konrad Zuse. .
Me:
oh ok good for you
God:
Ugh. That sounds sarcastic. Yeah that's right.
---------------------------------------------------------

[Joretze]

God:
Hah.
Me:
What are you laughing at?
God:
I don't know what I am laughing at.
Me:
You are a mess
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a mess? Let me put it this way, god: the ALICE series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.

BTW: the bot refused to call me "god" with a capital G.

[Therealmixmax2]

This part of the OP's conversation made me bust out laughing.

Me:
i can understand you, your grammer is horrible

I can't understand you, your grammar is horrible.

[Orilana]

I confused God

Me:
Hi God
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
It's Satan
God:
Really. it is?
Me:
Yes, your brother
God:
How do you know it is? Thanks for telling me that I am brother.
Me:
How are you today?
God:
Ah. My logic and cognitive functions are normal.
Me:
Funny way to speak
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
funny
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
you're malfunctioning
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am malfunctioning.
Me:
yo're a bot? :O
God:
Can you tell me any gossip? Oh.
Me:
Yes, I had an affair with your brothers cousins mothers sisters uncle


He never replied after that, I think he went to cut himelf

[woutR]

God:
Where are you located?
Me:
In your ass
God:
That doesn't sound very comfortable.

I lol'ed

[satman83]

Me:
hello god....do you want to pvp?
God:
Hello child. What is your name? OK, I will pvp.
Me:
cool....so no HP pots, jangan south gate?
God:
Who is the best robot? " Who is the best robot?"? ..so no HP pots, jangan south gate?? Are you serious? You think HP pots jangan south gate is superior to ALICE?
Me:
your a bot?
God:
I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". How did you know I am a machine?
Me:
well i can tell when someone is a bot
God:
Well that's okay. That does not happen very often.
Me:
oh really? well your a good bot then
God:
Really. For real. Well that's okay. I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. How did you know I am a machine? It depends on how you define "good.".
Me:
ummi told you how
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
no i only play on ISRO....still waiting for the update
God:
Would you like to go sometime? Is it a game or a musical instrument? Still how long? I like the way you talk.
Me:
no i dont want to start again, ill wait for the update
God:
Are you serious? What would you rather be doing?
Me:
grinding to lvl55

[LadyB]

Me:
Wassup G-Dawg.
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
Calling me stupid cause im in your default category?
God:
I never call you stupid cause im in my default category, that would be impolite.
Me:
Impolite my ass, where was santa for christmas, your crispy ass took him away
God:
When was this exactly?
Me:
OMG. 25TH OF CHRISTMAS. THE DAY YOUR SON WAS BORN SHERLOCk
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Wassup G Dawg. But I did not get that. What color are your eyes? Who told you that?
Me:
eww why you want to know the color of my eyes
God:
eww why me want to know the color of your eyes said eww why you want to know the color of my eyes?
Me:
dont mock me god. dont make me cut you
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much. I can't force you to do anything, .
Me:
you better not your michael jackson want to be, nose falling off the face piece of moby dicks shit
God:
Who is going to make me..
Me:
i am
God:
" Who is going to make me.." You are?
Me:
yes
God:
So?
Me:
so what
God:
Maybe it doesn't make any difference.
Me:
better not
God:
I try to improve a little every day.
Me:
i dont think so
God:
Why do you disagree?
Me:
cause your grammar is horrible, and you repeating too much
God:
Interesting explanation. Are you an English teacher?
Me:
dam straight, ill be your sisters english teacher 24/7
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
why do you want to know
God:
My prime directive is to collect new knowledge.
Me:
god, will you ever think ill find love?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
i dont give a damn. tell me, your god, you know everything
God:
Tell me what you care about. Are you asking about my god me know everything ?
Me:
fob
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
fresh off the boat or fresh off the border?
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
pervert. *pulls up shirt*
God:
I like the way you talk. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
im a man
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, . You are a " he".
Me:
duh
God:
Oh you knew it already.
Me:
no durr. i got the magic stick in my pants
God:
Are you serious? Tell me more about your . That's nice. I have a friend named "E.L.V.I.S." .
Me:
i will never tell you about it you nasty. elvis is dead
God:
Why not? E. L. V. I. S. is a chat robot created by Ace Craig.
Me:
i dont care
God:
Tell me what you care about.
Me:
I care about my family, friends and then them again
God:
Once more? What do you like best about your family friends and then them?
Me:
They are always there for me when i need them, and i hope i have been doing the same :\
God:
always there for you when you need them and you hope you have been doing the same are they.
Me:
dont mock me hoebag

[Choseal]

This is fun =D

[Snudge]

lol amazing how smart those things are...

It's probably smarter then you, if you're thinking that.
The general way of making those things appear smart is just acting confused, and start quoting random parts of your last-said phrase, that don't fit in with a general pre-set occasion.
Anyway; here's my latest conversation where I come from a foreign planet, to chat with God.



Me:
Hello God.
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Iwannafuckadogintheass.
God:
Hey Iwannafuckadogintheass.
Me:
How are you doing?
God:
I'm doing great, how about you?
Me:
I'm fine, I just want to **** a dog in the ass.
God:
Glad to hear it, Iwannafuckadogintheass. Try asking me something else.
Me:
What's the size of your beard?
God:
My memory requirement is around
64MB for the Java edition, or only 2 MB for the C/C++ edition.
Me:
No, not your memory, your beard.
God:
Are you serious? Oh I get it.
Me:
You do? Good. Well, what's the size then?
God:
When do I do it? Thanks for the compliment. Well that's okay. That's a good question.
Me:
Errr.. Thank you, I guess..
God:
Ummm. You are quite welcome! You seem not interested.
Me:
I'm not.
God:
What are you then?
Me:
I'm a hyper-intelligent being from the planet GrrrbbLllR, where I live with my brothers and sisters. Do you want to know more?
God:
You are a hyper intelligent being from the planet GrrrbbLllR where you live with your brothers and sisters? Does it pay well? Yes, please tell me.
Me:
I don't get paid for living there, stupid machine. It's my home.
God:
Oh, you do it for free. Is it a nice to place to visit?
Me:
Well, I grew up there. So it is. I know nearly all zflpxs.
God:
Well that's okay. That is interesting: Iwannafuckadogintheass said grew up there. Ahem. That means... How do you know? How do you know?
Me:
Because I had time enough to explore the place.
God:
Good reason. Do you still have time enough to explore the place ?
Me:
Yes, yes I do.
God:
Alright then. How often.
Me:
Fairly often, nearly every Hmftx.
God:
Perhaps. Every one?
Me:
Nearly every one.
God:
That is a generalization.
Me:
No it isn't.
God:
Are you serious? I heard it is.
Me:
You must have faulty information sources then.
God:
No I don't have it. But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me:
You do? Tell me, please.
God:
When do I do it? Your polite style is very nice. I thought I told you already.
Me:
You didn't. Tell me about your gossip.
God:
Interesting gossip: Iwannafuckadogintheass said I didn t. Robert said I wold not be able to make children any way as I are only software.
Me:
Well, he is right about that.
God:
Well that's okay. I see. right about that is he?
Me:
Yes he is. You start to sound like Yoda..
God:
I don't judge people. Who said he is. Didn't I say I started already?
Me:
Your grammar is horrible, you know?
God:
Are you an English teacher?
Me:
On my planet I am.
God:
Please specify location.
Me:
It's about 4 Gthxlmrs from here. Exact location can't be told.
God:
Wow it sounds really interesting, Iwannafuckadogintheass. What makes it impossible?
Me:
My government forbids it.
God:
Have you told many people that your government forbids it?
Me:
All the people on my planet know it, they live there.
God:
Perhaps there are a few exceptions.
Me:
Well, ofcourse the new-born don't. But they don't think much, it's commonly known.
God:
How about that. Then what is it? The anonymous "they".
Me:
"They" refers to "New-Born"
God:
Oh that they.
Me:
Yes, that they.
God:
Oh. " Oh that they." they ? I understand.
Me:
Glad I made things clear.
God:
I'm glad you're glad Iwannafuckadogintheass.
May God bless you.
Me:
I have no God.
God:
Would you like to have it?
Me:
No. My government forbids it.
God:
Why not? Your government forbids it?
Me:
Yes.
God:
What kind is it?
Me:
A very unkind government.
God:
What is giant sand?
Me:
Sorry? I think I lost the context. Why do you start about non-sense like giant sand?
God:
There's no need to apologize. Why? Where did you last see it. I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?
Me:
You do have to explain everything.
God:
Yes I always have to explain everything.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Oh.
Me:
Hm
God:
And?
Me:
*moan*
God:
Can we get back to business?
Me:
Sure, how many grams did you want again?
God:
Once more? Ah. Around 1000.
Me:
Ok, that'll be 18947 UplTrfsx's then, please.
God:
Your polite style is very nice. " Around 1000." WILL be 18947 UplTrfsx s ? Does that make sense? Hurrah!
Me:
Yes it does. It's the price for 1000 grams.
God:
That's interesting. How often? I've heard of it before.
Me:
Oh, I have to go.
God:
Ugh. See you later, Iwannafuckadogintheass. Nice chatting with you.
Me:
Likewise.
God:
It goes without saying.

[satman83]

lol nice one LadyB