Just a few silly jokes...

Isis · Post by **Isis** » Wed Mar 21, 2007 10:42 am

Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and died brown. A few days later, as she was driving around the countryside, she stopped her car to let a flock of sheep pass.
Admiring the cute woolly creatures, she said to the shepherd, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one?" The shepherd, always the gentleman replied, "Of course." The blonde thought for a moment and for no discernible reason said, "352."
This being the correct number, the shepherd was, understandably, totally amazed and exclaimed, "You're right! O.K., I'll keep to my end of the deal. Take your pick of my flock." The blonde carefully considered the entire flock and finally picked one that was by far cuter and more playful than any of the others.
When she was done, the shepherd turned to her and said, "O.K., now I have a proposition for you. If I can guess your true hair color, can I have my dog back?"

The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we're going to be three in this house instead of two."
Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes.
He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, "I'm glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us."

A koala is sitting up a gum tree smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past and looks up and says, "Hey Koala !What are you doing?"
The koala says: "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."
So the little lizard climbs up and sits next to the koala and they burn a few. After a while the little lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river. But the little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.
A crocodile sees this and swims over to the little lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the little lizard: "What's the matter with you?" The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink. The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the rain forest, finds the tree where the koala is sitting finishing a joint, and he looks up and says " Hey you!" So the koala looks down at him and says:"Shiiiiiiiiiiit dude. how much water did you drink?!!"

rek · Post by **rek** » Wed Mar 21, 2007 10:46 am

the 2nd one made me smile :roll:

XxYODAxX · Post by **XxYODAxX** » Wed Mar 21, 2007 10:58 am

I got a few for none kiddy ears...

QingMei · Post by **QingMei** » Wed Mar 21, 2007 10:58 am

Hah, they made me lol. :p

XxYODAxX · Post by **XxYODAxX** » Wed Mar 21, 2007 11:02 am

A nun walks into a bus and sits behind the driver and says, "I have just one regret before I die,"

The bus driver asks "What might that be?", she says "I have never had sex, but I can't have sex with a married man or that would be a sin."

The bus driver says, "I'm not married"

The nun says, "I have to die a virgin so I will have to take it in my ass".

Being the only two in the bus they went to the back and took care of business.

When they were done the bus driver says to the nun, "I have a confesion to make, I am married."

The nun says "I also have a confesion to make, My name is Tom and im going to a costume party!"

[SD]bizzle · Post by **[SD]bizzle** » Wed Mar 21, 2007 11:04 am

lol, not bad

Isis · Post by **Isis** » Wed Mar 21, 2007 11:06 am

Ive heard that one..

Another

A husband and wife came for counselling after 15 years of marriage.
When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful
tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 15 years they had been
married. She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy,
emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list
of un-met
needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time,
the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to
stand, embraced and kissed her passionately.

The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze. The
therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at
least
three times a week. Can you do this?"
The husband thought for a moment and replied,.. "Well, I can drop her
off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I go fishing."

I have some others but I don't think they are suited to the forum.. If you want to hear them PM me

RuYi · Post by **RuYi** » Wed Mar 21, 2007 11:07 am

I lol'ed after reading the last one.

Zypher · Post by **Zypher** » Wed Mar 21, 2007 11:14 am

poor husband:[

[SD]Twysta · Post by **[SD]Twysta** » Wed Mar 21, 2007 11:19 am

Haha i liked the last one

ElCapuccino · Post by **ElCapuccino** » Wed Mar 21, 2007 4:19 pm

Lol i like the last one!

ziddy1232 · Post by **ziddy1232** » Wed Mar 21, 2007 5:00 pm

*cough* *sniff* boo!