#IRC quotes (NSFW...well some)

pantrofl · Post by **pantrofl** » Mon Feb 12, 2007 4:51 pm

Post your favourite IRC quotes here

(you can get on irc by the other topic , dun have link though)

and i dont have any irc quote so far.. so post them here ^^

Added NSFW. - Kitty.

Drew_Benton · Post by **Drew_Benton** » Mon Feb 12, 2007 4:57 pm

Best Database of IRC Quotes: http://www.bash.org

Click on the "Top 100", you won't be disappointed. If you haven't heard of bash.org, shame on you!

takolin · Post by **takolin** » Mon Feb 12, 2007 4:58 pm

http://www.bash.org/

Snudge · Post by **Snudge** » Mon Feb 12, 2007 8:39 pm

<JonJonB> Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book
<JonJonB> Let's see the results...

<JonJonB> "Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
<JonJonB> "Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything

<JonJonB> A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.

<JonJonB> "Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
<JonJonB> "Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. "

<JonJonB> Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls

<JonJonB> "Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"

<JonJonB> The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.

<JonJonB> He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.

<JonJonB> He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.

<JonJonB> Ok
<JonJonB> I have found, definitive proof
<JonJonB> that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all
<JonJonB> "Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he?
<melusine > O_______O
<JonJonB> Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang

<JonJonJonB> Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.

<JonJonJonB> 'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.

Lovely.

As well as:
Rabidplaybunny87: Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me
GarbageStan23: why?
Rabidplaybunny87: Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s'mores and all... and suddenly we here sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us.
Rabidplaybunny87: So we all went running to see what was up, and our neigbor's house was on fire!
GarbageStan23: oh shit!
Rabidplaybunny87: Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever
Rabidplaybunny87: Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire....
Rabidplaybunny87: talk about bad timing...

^-^

Blackchocob0 · Post by **Blackchocob0** » Mon Feb 12, 2007 10:18 pm

Lol @ the Harry Potter thing.

rangah · Post by **rangah** » Mon Feb 12, 2007 11:43 pm

I loved this:

Code: Select all

<NES> lol
<NES> I download something from Napster
<NES> And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done
<NES> I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you"
<NES> "getting my song back fucker"

Kitty · Post by **Kitty** » Tue Feb 13, 2007 12:39 am

My 3 favorites

<i8b4uUnderground> d-_-b
<BonyNoMore> how u make that inverted b?
<BonyNoMore> wait
<BonyNoMore> never mind

<T-Wolf> man, my girlfriend left me for some ****** named robert
<RdAwG20> you don't live in Hope mills do you?
<T-Wolf> ya, why man?
<RdAwG20> lol, just wondering, was her namne alisson?
<T-Wolf> you mother fucker

<JonTG> Man, my penis is so big if I laid it out on a keyboard it'd go all the way from A to Z
<JonTG> wait, shit

Last one is best LOL....lame pick up lines ftl.

linange · Post by **linange** » Tue Feb 13, 2007 12:41 am

Hello_Kitty wrote:My 3 favorites

<i8b4uUnderground> d-_-b
<BonyNoMore> how u make that inverted b?
<BonyNoMore> wait
<BonyNoMore> never mind

<T-Wolf> man, my girlfriend left me for some ****** named robert
<RdAwG20> you don't live in Hope mills do you?
<T-Wolf> ya, why man?
<RdAwG20> lol, just wondering, was her namne alisson?
<T-Wolf> you mother fucker

<JonTG> Man, my penis is so big if I laid it out on a keyboard it'd go all the way from A to Z
<JonTG> wait, shit

Last one is best LOL....lame pick up lines ftl.

lmao... da keyboard jokes pwns all

PsYch008 · Post by **PsYch008** » Tue Feb 13, 2007 12:51 am

-[Conroy_Bumpus]- OH **** ME
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- I FORGOT TO PICK UP MY 7 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER FROM SOCCER PRACTICE
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- 9 HOURS AGO
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- HOLY SHIT
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- BYE

Draquish · Post by **Draquish** » Tue Feb 13, 2007 1:02 am

<Cthon98> hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars
<Cthon98> ********* see!
<AzureDiamond> hunter2
<AzureDiamond> doesnt look like stars to me
<Cthon98> <AzureDiamond> *******
<Cthon98> thats what I see
<AzureDiamond> oh, really?
<Cthon98> Absolutely
<AzureDiamond> you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
<AzureDiamond> haha, does that look funny to you?
<Cthon98> lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that
<Cthon98> yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> awesome!
<AzureDiamond> wait, how do you know my pw?
<Cthon98> er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw
<AzureDiamond> oh, ok.

PAWNED

and

<Th3No0b> Im going to be the next hitler
<Th3No0b> Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown
<RageAgainsttheAmish> why the clown
<Th3No0b> See? no one cares about the jews
<RageAgainsttheAmish> lmao

and

<MooseOnDaLoose> Hey Mike
<goatboy> what?
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> er?
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> and?
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> ...
<MooseOnDaLoose> Pussy.
<goatboy> i dont get it
<MooseOnDaLoose> AND YOU NEVER WILL.
<goatboy> bastard

an old one.

<Eticam> I was in biology class once, and the teacher said there was sugar in sperm
<Eticam> And a girl asked why doesn't it taste sweet then
<Eticam> When she realised what she said her face became red like a spanked monkey ass
<Eticam> Then the teacher said, because you taste sweetness with the front of your tongue, not the part of your tongue back in your throat
<Eticam> The girl started crying and left class ^^

<link>once upon a midnight dreary, while i pron surfed, weak and weary, over many a strange and spurious site of ' hot xxx galore'. While i clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour, " 'Tis not possible!", i muttered, " give me back my free hardcore!"..... quoth the server, 404.

linange · Post by **linange** » Tue Feb 13, 2007 1:55 am

draquish wrote:
<link>once upon a midnight dreary, while i pron surfed, weak and weary, over many a strange and spurious site of ' hot xxx galore'. While i clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour, " 'Tis not possible!", i muttered, " give me back my free hardcore!"..... quoth the server, 404.

seem this on some turk's sig...
is this the modified version of The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe?

Post by **Avalanche** » Tue Feb 13, 2007 2:44 am

<scirDSL> I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying "You're next". They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals.

wow.

MastaChiefX · Post by **MastaChiefX** » Tue Feb 13, 2007 5:40 am

heard this one long ago im making up the names so

[1337hax0r]1 w1ll hax0r a11 of y00
[1337hax0r]just give m3 y0ur IP and 1 w1ll 0wN 1T
[TokenPlaya]127.0.0.1 is my ip
[1337hax0r]z0mg you are so pwned
[1337hax0r]20% to hd deletion
[1337hax0r]40% to hd deletion
[1337hax0r]i so like pwned you im 0m3ga hax0r
[1337hax0r]hah 90% your gunna get pwned
[1337hax0r] has exited.

If you dont get it, then just forgot it.

Post by **Avalanche** » Tue Feb 13, 2007 5:52 am

MastaChiefX wrote:heard this one long ago im making up the names so

[1337hax0r]1 w1ll hax0r a11 of y00
[1337hax0r]just give m3 y0ur IP and 1 w1ll 0wN 1T
[TokenPlaya]127.0.0.1 is my ip
[1337hax0r]z0mg you are so pwned
[1337hax0r]20% to hd deletion
[1337hax0r]40% to hd deletion
[1337hax0r]i so like pwned you im 0m3ga hax0r
[1337hax0r]hah 90% your gunna get pwned
[1337hax0r] has exited.

If you dont get it, then just forgot it.

LOL!

timtam · Post by **timtam** » Tue Feb 13, 2007 5:57 am

linange wrote:
draquish wrote:
<link>once upon a midnight dreary, while i pron surfed, weak and weary, over many a strange and spurious site of ' hot xxx galore'. While i clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour, " 'Tis not possible!", i muttered, " give me back my free hardcore!"..... quoth the server, 404.

seem this on some turk's sig...

...

is sena a turk?

Zypher · Post by **Zypher** » Tue Feb 13, 2007 6:35 am

<@Nosferatu> Sensitive men do exist...
<@Nosferatu> A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up
<@Nosferatu> leaving together. They get back to his apartment and she notices that his
<@Nosferatu> bedroom is completely packed with sweet cuddly teddy bears. Hundreds of
<@Nosferatu> cute small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, cuddly
<@Nosferatu> medium-sized ones on a shelf a little higher, and huge enormous bears on
<@Nosferatu> the top shelf along the wall. The woman is surprised that this guy would
<@Nosferatu> have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but
<@Nosferatu> she decides not to mention this to him, and actually is quite impressed by
<@Nosferatu> his sensitive side. She turns to him... they kiss... and then they rip each
<@Nosferatu> other's clothes off and make hot steamy love.
<@Nosferatu> After an intense night of passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying
<@Nosferatu> there together in the afterglow, the woman rolls over and she asks,
<@Nosferatu> smiling, "Well, how was it?"
<@Nosferatu> The guy says:
<@Nosferatu> "Help yourself to any prize from the bottom shelf."

Deacon · Post by **Deacon** » Tue Feb 13, 2007 8:07 am

I love all these quotes

I've been reading on bash so much, know m all they all stay so good

Edit:

<konefku> If you have twins, im buying you a shirt that points to your left side that says "I LOVE THIS ONE MORE."

<marek> rape is such a bad term, lets call it surprise sex!

omg edit 1 more xD

<MattV> Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, and F are the letters for bra sizes?
<MattV> If you've wondered why, but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for, it's about time you were informed!
<MattV> A- Almost boobs
<MattV> B- Barely there
<MattV> C- Can't complain!
<MattV> D- Damn!
<MattV> DD- Double damn!
<MattV> E- Enormous!
<MattV> F- Fake.

Ryo-Ohki · Post by **Ryo-Ohki** » Tue Feb 13, 2007 3:22 pm

If people keep copy/pasting links to goat/tub/lemon sites, I will eventually run out of patience and delete the entire thread instead of just their posts.