inb4 mad betafggt

I Am Vegeta · Post by **I Am Vegeta** » Thu Feb 21, 2013 3:13 pm

I'm an Alpha male.

And girls want to **** alpha males. Let it piss you off as much as you want, but you know it's completely true. That girl you like who is kinda cute in a weird way, but is totally sweet and you have the biggest crush on? The one who keeps going back to guys who treat her wrong for reasons you don't understand? The one who calls you up at 1 am to cry about how her boyfriend hasn't called her in 3 days, and no matter how long you listen to her, she'll never think of you as anything other than asexual? The one who will curl up next to you on the couch, hug you close, kiss you on the cheek, and never let you Farking touch her beyond that?

Yeah, I'm Farking her.

The hot girl who won't even look at you when you nod at them and smile? The one who laughs when you trip in the hallway and drop your stuff? The one who comes up and coyly aks for your help with her homework, and then pretends you don't exist once you finish?

Yeah, I'm Farking her too, even harder.

The geeky girl you think might be enough like you that you have a chance with her? She plays warcraft on your server, and watches anime, and reads comics? She's so incredible and you just love her so much but you still haven't worked up the courage to tell her how you feel about her?

Guess who just sucked me off and told me they'll always love me?

And what's more? I laugh at guys like you. When you cry about how much girls treat you bad, and wonder why they can't just see that you're a nice guy who would always treat them right? I nod and tell you to hang in there, you'll find someone right for you someday, don't give up hope man. But inside? I'm laughing my ass off at you you pathetic ****. Every girl you set your sights on, who isn't a disgusting pig-monster, I'm going to **** 6 ways from Sunday before you even tell her you think she's cute. I won't bother trying when you finally settle for that 350 pound girl who works at hardees, you can have that. Anything else I'm going to cum on her face before you get those lips near it.

And the biggest reason I laugh? It's not me doing all this. It's the girls. When you cry about how lonely you are? Or talk about how you just want to curl up and disappear, and all that emo bullshit? You're triggering her "Don't ****" instinct something fierce. You're a miserable weak coward, why would she want your genes? Feel free to buy her a new computer and help her decorate her apartment, you're great for that. But her baby-maker is barking orders at her, telling her to wrap her legs around me and hold on for as long as she can. She needs it, on a primal level you'll never get to see first hand, even if you do get a chance to **** her. Sooner or later one of them will lay back and spread their legs, but you won't see any hunger in their eyes. They won't beg you to love them forever and make them yours. You won't know what it's like to see her animal side needing you as much as she needs to eat and breath.

And she's cheating on you, I promise that. When she sits around quiet and uncomfortable, acting irritable and irrational towards you, wanting you to just back away and leave her alone, it's not her period. It's because I haven't called her for a day or two and her instincts are telling her to go find me. The primitive section of her brain doesn't want to risk smelling like another man when she gives herself to me, she wants me to know she's completely mine. We do things together she tells you she never would. Her pooper? Mine. I want to give her a facial? of course. I want her to suck the cum out of my dick, even though I just finished pumping away at her ass? she's never going to tell me no. She doesn't WANT to tell me no. She wants me to know she'll do anything it takes to keep me. She'll rim my ass while she's down there sucking me off if it means pleasing me. She'll drink my cum from a shotglass. She'll wear a buttplug when we go out to dinner. She'll sleep handcuffed to my headboard.

Anything.

And then she'll go home to you and tell you she's not in the mood today.
I'd say you should become an hero, but you being around makes her want a real man all the more, so keep **** it up emo bitches, I'll keep that pussy warm while you're crying in the corner.

.curve · Post by **.curve** » Thu Feb 21, 2013 3:20 pm

I'm an Alpha nerd.

And girls want to **** alpha nerds. Let it piss you off as much as you want, but you know it's completely true. That girl you like who is total hardbody with great tits and ass, and is totally horny and you have the biggest crush on? The one who keeps going back to guys who fail to keep up with her sexual demands? The one who calls you up at 1 am to cry about how her boyfriend hasn't farked her in 3 days, and no matter how long you listen to her, she'll never think of you as anything other than a friend. The one who will curl up next to you on the couch in bar, ask you to buy her a drink, kiss you on the cheek, and never let you Farking touch her beyond that?

Yeah, I'm Farking her.

The geeky but hot girl who won't even look at you when you nod at them and smile? The one who laughs when you show off with your guido pals? The one who comes up and asks you for training advice, and then pretends you don't exist once you finish?

Yeah, I'm Farking her too, even harder.

The girl you think might be enough like you that you have a chance with her? She's a cheerleader for the team you play in, hangs out with the most popular of the girls, and reads Cosmopolitan? She's so incredible and you just love her so much but you still haven't worked up the courage to tell her how you feel about her?

Guess who just sucked me off and told me they'll always love me?

Spoiler!

Bartic · Post by **Bartic** » Thu Feb 21, 2013 3:44 pm

It was obvious he didn't write this, the grammar and punctuation are too good. But he never said it was him who wrote this.

*BlackFox · Post by *BlackFox » Thu Feb 21, 2013 4:23 pm

Meh... Such a farked up story!

I Am Vegeta · Post by **I Am Vegeta** » Thu Feb 21, 2013 5:42 pm

lol @curve

there's some oc for you

gurl are u made of protein?
cause u make my penis muscle grow bigger

omier · Post by **omier** » Thu Feb 21, 2013 6:26 pm

I Am Vegeta wrote:
gurl are u made of protein?
cause u make my penis muscle grow bigger

gurl do you have a brain?
cause penis is no muscle

MrTwilliger · Post by **MrTwilliger** » Thu Feb 21, 2013 6:26 pm

I don't know what this thread is about. Like honestly. I don't get it.

I'm a weedly little nerd. I'm anti-social, hyperactive and pretty strange. Yet, this doesn't seem to matter. I've had a few incredibly meaningful relationships which transcend beyond all this petty primal shit you keep talking about. I've turned down girls before who were ready to go, quite attractive girls as well, because I didn't want to hurt them in the long road. Just because you can sleep with someone it doesn't mean you should. Sometimes you have to value the happiness of a close friend over the short term happiness of yourself.

Being an "alpha" isn't the only way to live your life. It's not the only road to success, either. Plenty of us are happy, in loving relationships, working towards respectable goals and enjoying the lives we live. We don't need to sleep with every ganga we see just the justify our lives. We don't need to preach our pretentious crap about how dominate we are and how everyone else is worthless in comparison. Your scope of reality is so limited Vegeta, your failing to realize that not everyone desires to be you. Blah blah blah /rant.

I Am Vegeta · Post by **I Am Vegeta** » Thu Feb 21, 2013 7:28 pm

twillinger used the word ganga

omg

ilu

Post by **Majorharper** » Thu Feb 21, 2013 9:22 pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?&v=1mRM1VwUiYA
YOU HAVE TO DO THIS FOR ME PLEASE BE MY HERO

Aristocrat · Post by **Aristocrat** » Thu Feb 21, 2013 10:08 pm

im the only real alphamale in this whorehouse. The End.

I Am Vegeta · Post by **I Am Vegeta** » Thu Feb 21, 2013 10:33 pm

Majorharper wrote:https://www.youtube.com/watch?&v=1mRM1VwUiYA
YOU HAVE TO DO THIS FOR ME PLEASE BE MY HERO

OMFG imma sure try this lmao

.curve · Post by **.curve** » Fri Feb 22, 2013 12:47 am

Do you even lift bro?

Fiction · Post by **Fiction** » Fri Feb 22, 2013 12:53 am

I'm sorry for not reading OP, but Vegeta uses the term "Alpha Male" like a 4 year old that just learned a new word... It really shows how shallow and ignorant his understand for true human nature goes. Like someone using the phrase "opposites attract" and believes only two ppl completely different from each other will fall in love. Either way... Someone that's a self proclaimed "Alpha Male" probably shouldn't be wasting his time on a forum for an old MMO.

Where I'm from an alpha male is someone who has a tan cause they worked their ass off in the sun all day, not cause they spent 15 minutes in a tanning booth. If they're going out at night, it's to have a drink with the boys to relax and not a single hair product in their hair. I'm sorry, but Vegeta's definition of an alpha male seems more like a douchie immature boy, than anything women would consider a man. Anyone can get drunk girls to go home with them... Just saiyan.

I Am Vegeta · Post by **I Am Vegeta** » Fri Feb 22, 2013 1:38 am

Fiction wrote:I'm sorry for not reading OP, but Vegeta uses the term "Alpha Male" like a 4 year old that just learned a new word... It really shows how shallow and ignorant his understand for true human nature goes. Like someone using the phrase "opposites attract" and believes only two ppl completely different from each other will fall in love. Either way... Someone that's a self proclaimed "Alpha Male" probably shouldn't be wasting his time on a forum for an old MMO.

Where I'm from an alpha male is someone who has a tan cause they worked their ass off in the sun all day, not cause they spent 15 minutes in a tanning booth. If they're going out at night, it's to have a drink with the boys to relax and not a single hair product in their hair. I'm sorry, but Vegeta's definition of an alpha male seems more like a douchie immature boy, than anything women would consider a man. Anyone can get drunk girls to go home with them... Just saiyan.

sorry i cant hear you over the sound of you fapping on a thursday night

Fiction · Post by **Fiction** » Fri Feb 22, 2013 3:17 am

I Am Vegeta wrote:

sorry i cant hear you over the sound of you fapping on a thursday night

Aww, I'm sorry, I was out having a nice dinner with my wife, so that fapping sound must just be your mother upstairs on the first floor rubbing one out cause she can't keep a man around that will put up with her swaggered out son... Damn it feels good to actually have a life that doesn't consist of pretending to be "Alpha". You keep it up Vegeta, I hear one day being able to see every ab pays off in the end. lol just saiyan...

I Am Vegeta · Post by **I Am Vegeta** » Fri Feb 22, 2013 3:40 am

Fiction wrote:
I Am Vegeta wrote:

sorry i cant hear you over the sound of you fapping on a thursday night

Aww, I'm sorry, I was out having a nice dinner with my wife, so that fapping sound must just be your mother upstairs on the first floor rubbing one out cause she can't keep a man around that will put up with her swaggered out son... Damn it feels good to actually have a life that doesn't consist of pretending to be "Alpha". You keep it up Vegeta, I hear one day being able to see every ab pays off in the end. lol just saiyan...

>got abs
>world is mine
>u mad?

MrTwilliger · Post by **MrTwilliger** » Fri Feb 22, 2013 5:54 am

Your spending a large amount of time on an old gaming forum trying to convince a bunch of male, adolescent game enthusiasts that your amazing and your the ideal person. Seems to me you have an awful lot of free time to waste on a shitty place like this. Perhaps the world isn't really yours after all.

Just saiyan <-- sorry Ficton, I had to steal that one :p

Panu · Post by **Panu** » Fri Feb 22, 2013 6:42 am

MrTwilliger wrote:Your spending a large amount of time on an old gaming forum trying to convince a bunch of male, adolescent game enthusiasts that your amazing and your the ideal person. Seems to me you have an awful lot of free time to waste on a shitty place like this. Perhaps the world isn't really yours after all.

Just saiyan <-- sorry Ficton, I had to steal that one :p

If this place is so shitty then why are you wasting your free time reading this thread and commenting on it?

MrTwilliger · Post by **MrTwilliger** » Fri Feb 22, 2013 6:50 am

SRF is a pretty shit place to visit if you have the entire world at your finger tips. If I was as self-proclaimed as Vegeta is, I'd spend my time doing something more entertaining. Like sleeping with all these apparent women he sleeps with. But I do not own the world. I am just as shitty as this dying forum is. I come here through habit and routine. I'm not claiming to transcend this place or it's members. Vegeta is. Hence why it's so perplexing that, despite how amazing he apparently is, he can still spend hours here each and every week trying to impress us and exert his "superiority". Just think about it for a second and you might come to understand the conclusion.

cpinney · Post by **cpinney** » Fri Feb 22, 2013 6:58 am

Fiction wrote:
I Am Vegeta wrote:

sorry i cant hear you over the sound of you fapping on a thursday night

Aww, I'm sorry, I was out having a nice dinner with my wife, so that fapping sound must just be your mother upstairs on the first floor rubbing one out cause she can't keep a man around that will put up with her swaggered out son... Damn it feels good to actually have a life that doesn't consist of pretending to be "Alpha". You keep it up Vegeta, I hear one day being able to see every ab pays off in the end. lol just saiyan...

Post by **Avalanche** » Fri Feb 22, 2013 7:19 am

Fiction wrote:
I Am Vegeta wrote:

sorry i cant hear you over the sound of you fapping on a thursday night

Aww, I'm sorry, I was out having a nice dinner with my wife, so that fapping sound must just be your mother upstairs on the first floor rubbing one out cause she can't keep a man around that will put up with her swaggered out son... Damn it feels good to actually have a life that doesn't consist of pretending to be "Alpha". You keep it up Vegeta, I hear one day being able to see every ab pays off in the end. lol just saiyan...

penfold1992 · Post by **penfold1992** » Fri Feb 22, 2013 9:25 am

ive told you why he cant do that... he cant have sex with women because his dick is so far up his own ass the chicks would get dry before he fished it out

Bartic · Post by **Bartic** » Fri Feb 22, 2013 9:28 am

I still think he's just kidding with all this 'alpha male' crap. Don't take it so serious, guys.

Rawr · Post by **Rawr** » Fri Feb 22, 2013 9:38 am

Bartic wrote:I still think he's just kidding with all this 'alpha male' crap. Don't take it so serious, guys.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, easy there... let's not say such crazy things. Everybody knows the internet is the most serious place on Earth.

Bartic · Post by **Bartic** » Fri Feb 22, 2013 9:40 am

^Lol.

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