Suicide

Tasdik · Post by **Tasdik** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 4:50 am

A friend of mine has been talking about committing suicide a lot lately. He seems to have lost the will to live. And I'm not sure how to help him get it back. On top of that, I'm the only person who knows about this. He lives out of state, and we communicate via FB and texting. But that's it.

Ideas?

(OTL Y U SO SRS LATELY?!?!)

BuDo · Post by **BuDo** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 5:03 am

You're at a disadvantage being out of state.... Help him find new prospects and goals that might appeal to him that he never knew about...Maybe a new relationship... I think people in his condition need exposure to different experiences that may trigger new reasons to live.....They need change....They need to have their perception shifted.... They don't need to be told this but instead have it revealed to them... It might help... Most importantly they need someone who is there physically for them to help them realize this...

Tasdik · Post by **Tasdik** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 5:07 am

Agreed. And I've tried pretty much all of that, but to no avail. I'm tempted to break the "bro code" and tell someone up there who could do a better job of reaching out to him then I can.

And yeah, this kind of started because his girlfriend of 3-4 years broke up with him. So, you know.

Squirt · Post by **Squirt** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 5:55 am

Post it on 4Chan or Reddit.

Either they'll help him someway or make it worse.

inky · Post by **inky** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 6:09 am

Check your PM.

Toshiharu · Post by **Toshiharu** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 7:30 am

Squirt wrote:Post it on 4Chan or Reddit.

Either they'll help him someway or make it worse.

Honestly this. Take it to /adv/ and you'll get real help. /adv/ is actually a good board for advice.. most times.

I'd say visit him if you're able to if not then I have no idea what to do. Like I said take it to /adv/ and you'll most likely have people that have encountered the same situation

heroo · Post by **heroo** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 8:20 am

People wanting to commit suicide? = zero respect from me.

it's the easy way out.

DarkJackal · Post by **DarkJackal** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 8:29 am

heroo wrote:People wanting to commit suicide? = zero respect from me.

it's the easy way out.

Easy to say when you have no idea what its like.

heroo · Post by **heroo** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 8:46 am

regardless of what your problems are, suicide is never the solution. it will end your problems, but will end everything else too. you will also destroy the lifes of your family, friends and everyone who cares for you. there is always a solution to your problems, always. it can be hard, it be can be long and it can be unpleasant. but it's always better then suicide, always. suicide is the wrong and selfish 'solution' to your problems.

*BlackFox · Post by *BlackFox » Fri Oct 12, 2012 9:33 am

A suicide death leaves pain and unanswered questions for the families/friends left behind
for their lifetime. Horrible isn't it?

Anyway... You might need to call "911" Or "suicide hotline" urself. ask them how u can get help for him.

marijnz0r · Post by **marijnz0r** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 9:44 am

heroo wrote:regardless of what your problems are, suicide is never the solution. it will end your problems, but will end everything else too. you will also destroy the lifes of your family, friends and everyone who cares for you. there is always a solution to your problems, always. it can be hard, it be can be long and it can be unpleasant. but it's always better then suicide, always. suicide is the wrong and selfish 'solution' to your problems.

whose life is it, yours or your families'?

Mirosuke · Post by **Mirosuke** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 10:54 am

Huh, did my post got delete or something? - -"
But anyways, before suiciding, why not join the Army or something like that?
At least you are risking your life for something worthy...
I never believed in suicide being a way out and never will.

Strwarrior · Post by **Strwarrior** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 11:00 am

marijnz0r wrote:
heroo wrote:regardless of what your problems are, suicide is never the solution. it will end your problems, but will end everything else too. you will also destroy the lifes of your family, friends and everyone who cares for you. there is always a solution to your problems, always. it can be hard, it be can be long and it can be unpleasant. but it's always better then suicide, always. suicide is the wrong and selfish 'solution' to your problems.

whose life is it, yours or your families'?

..........

Post by **LillDev!l** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 11:23 am

Suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems. He may feel that his life is not worth living now, but in the future that'll absolutely change. He needs to realize that, even though he may not see it right now, there's a lot of good moments and happiness still to be enjoyed later on and that IS worth waiting for.

Good luck to him and you, hope he'll manage to retain a more positive outlook on life.

omier · Post by **omier** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 12:07 pm

The common belief that suicide is not the solution is because people don't know what comes after death. I'm not strictly on the side that thinks it's the worst thing ever. I have thought about suicide and what would happen if I committed it and would anyone care, but that's as far as I've got because I wouldn't do it, just skipping this life not knowing what comes next is not a wise choice because you might be disappointed in the end.

In school I also wrote a paper on suicide after reading the best book ever which had a really good plot and ended with a suicide.

woutR · Post by **woutR** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 12:28 pm

Guess I'll share this now.

My mom has been depressed for well over 15 years now. When I was 14 she took up drinking as well and by age 16 I was living alone because she was in rehab.
After we all moved out she had nothing left and had nothing to do. Her depression progressed to such a state where she was no longer capable of doing literally anything at all. Doing groceries became impossible, she couldn't care less about making food and having conversations was difficult due to her being so doped out on drugs.
Currently she is on a last resort treatment for depression which is electroshock therapy. Now, why am I telling you this? Well you see, my mother also wants to commit suicide. However, she's told me she wants to commit suicide for the last 10 years. This is often the case with depressed people.
I can't even begin to describe the pain you feel when your mother tells you she wants out and wished for all of us never to be born so she could just commit suicide without affecting so many lives. It hurts, it sucks and it never changes. Which brings me to your options: you can either choose to be like me and spend time with this person, listen to all their problems, try to give them advice and be stunned at how farked up life can be. Or, you leave now and never look back. Why? It will never be better. The toll it takes on you is a hefty one, and if you can prevent these experiences your life will honestly be a lot better. It's harsh, but there is no hope. There's just pain, sadness and depression around depressed people.
If I have learned one thing from being around my mother and seeing all the other people in her rehabs it is that you don't want to be a part of this. I have tried everything I can think of, I have even tried to express happiness for my mother that she managed to put her clothes on. It's all to no avail. Some people can't be saved and if you have a way to avoid sharing in their suffering then take the opportunity with both hands and never look back.

*BlackFox · Post by *BlackFox » Fri Oct 12, 2012 1:18 pm

woutR wrote:but there is no hope. There's just pain, sadness and depression around depressed people

Oh crap.. Sorry to hear that
But Just because depression is bad does not mean there is no hope. "There is always hope"

BuDo · Post by **BuDo** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 2:24 pm

Gonna have to agree with hero on this one.... You kill yourself you end your problems along with ending any possible solution to your problems. Plus you leave behind more stress related problems for the people who care about you....So its a pretty selfish way to go especially when the people around you are trying their best to help...If nobody cared then I'd understand but otherwise no...

BuDo · Post by **BuDo** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 2:47 pm

To the OP:

I think its a good sign that he's telling you this. The mere fact that he told you about it is a sign of him reaching out and wanting help.....It means he's not 100% serious (I think). The serious ones just do it without mentioning a word. It at least shows he values your companionship on some level. Which can be used to help him...

I Am Vegeta · Post by **I Am Vegeta** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 2:48 pm

BuDo wrote:Maybe a new relationship...

no no no no no

don't do this, it'll get worse when the relationship end up.

its like people on drugs you dont get them out of their addiction with a new relationship they'll just transfer the addiction into their relaptionship and will get crushed once it's over.

BuDo · Post by **BuDo** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 2:50 pm

^
Yes that is possible but the opposite is also possible. He my find someone who understands him and love him better...

inky · Post by **inky** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 4:03 pm

BuDo wrote:To the OP:

I think its a good sign that he's telling you this. The mere fact that he told you about it is a sign of him reaching out and wanting help.....It means he's not 100% serious (I think). The serious ones just do it without mentioning a word. It at least shows he values your companionship on some level. Which can be used to help him...

"The serious ones just do it"? I don't think you know what you're talking about. More often than not, before a person commits suicide, there's always a period where they ask others for help. It may come out as bluntly, like the person in this case or it could be completely abstract like if a person keeps talking about "going away" or giving away things of value to the people he loves or distancing him/herself from close friends and family. A lot of times people fail to heed signs or realize what they mean until after the person commits suicide.

BuDo · Post by **BuDo** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 4:42 pm

Two people I know (one of them very well) never gave any indication...Things were going well in their lives on the outside... Without warning they offed themselves.. They offered no notion that things were wrong in their normal mode of daily conduct...

poehalcho · Post by **poehalcho** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 4:53 pm

Not sure how much this is gonna help. Just a minor suggestion.

Basically suggest to your friend he should do a tour around the world. Most people always say it's a beautiful experience, Maybe it'll bring him back to his senses.

I Am Vegeta · Post by **I Am Vegeta** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 5:24 pm

poehalcho wrote:Not sure how much this is gonna help. Just a minor suggestion.

Basically suggest to your friend he should do a tour around the world. Most people always say it's a beautiful experience, Maybe it'll bring him back to his senses.

one of my friend had hard time after he got out of afghanistan so he went into a trip visiting other country he spent like 1 years learning kungfu in a china temple or some stuff like this.

Mirosuke · Post by **Mirosuke** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 9:00 pm

I Am Vegeta wrote:
BuDo wrote:Maybe a new relationship...

no no no no no

don't do this, it'll get worse when the relationship end up.

its like people on drugs you dont get them out of their addiction with a new relationship they'll just transfer the addiction into their relaptionship and will get crushed once it's over.

Or just stay on the Farking friendship zone if you don't want to get Farking hurt.

Squirt · Post by **Squirt** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 9:33 pm

Wheres SuicideGrl when you need him :/

heroo · Post by **heroo** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 10:49 pm

marijnz0r wrote:whose life is it, yours or your families'?

huh?

marijinz0r, why u always say stupid things?

omier · Post by **omier** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 11:26 pm

heroo wrote:
marijnz0r wrote:whose life is it, yours or your families'?

huh?

marijinz0r, why u always say stupid things?

It wasn't that stupid.

heroo · Post by **heroo** » Fri Oct 12, 2012 11:53 pm

It is actually. Committing suicide has nothing to do with 'my life'. You are an adult and know you have people that love you. You understand the concept of love and realize the huge impact your loss will have on your family and friends. You can't really say it's 'my life' anymore, as if suicide would only have an impact on your life only. It doesn't. It will have a huge impact on the lifes of all the peope who love you and who you left behind desperate. In a way, committing suicide is no solution to your problems at all, you just transfer those problems to the ones that love you.

And btw, committing suicide because you have problems while you have the privilege of living in a Western country that practically provides you with all the things you need to survive? You think you have real problems huh? You think life is unfair and your situation is desperate huh? Maybe you should go see other parts of the world. Just be grateful you don't have to fight to survive and deal with your problems like an adult. Stop the qq'ing and make something out of your life, after rain comes sunshine.

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