"I will report her to the Farking people that take Farking money from the wetbacks." — phone conversation with ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva, about an employee
"You look like a Farking pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of nig*ers, it will be your fault." — phone conversation with Grigorieva
"I am going to come and burn the Farking house down... but you will blow me first." — phone conversation with Grigorieva
"You know what, you Farking deserved it." — to Grigorieva after she asked, "What kind of man is that who would hit a woman when she is holding a child in her hands, hitting her twice in the face?"
"Farking Jews... The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world… Are you a Jew?" — to male police officer during 2006 DUI arrest
"What do you think you're looking at, sugar tits?" — to female police officer during 2006 DUI arrest
"I want to kill him…I want his intestines on a stick… I want to kill his dog." —on New York Times reporter Frank Rich, who criticized The Passion of the Christ, to The New Yorker in 2003
"I own Malibu… I am going to **** you." — to arresting officer during 2006 DUI
"Look what you did to me... look what you are... look what every part of you is... Farking fake... Farking fake… You are the most synthetic person... who the **** are you?" — phone conversation with Grigorieva
"They take it up the ass. [laughs, stands up, bends over, points to anus] This is only for taking a shit." —to Spanish newspaper El Pais when asked what he thinks of gays, in 1991
"With this look, who's going to think I'm gay? I don't lend myself to that type of confusion. Do I look like a homosexual? Do I talk like them? Do I move like them?" —from the El Pais interview
"I'll apologize when hell freezes over. They can **** off." —to Playboy in 1995, about whether he'd issue an apology to gays and lesbians, as GLAAD recommended
"I am one tough motherfucker and you can't bother me anymore. You ask anybody what their number one fear is and it's public humiliation. Multiply that on a global scale and that's what I've been through. It changes you and makes you one tough motherfucker. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." — interview with The Telegraph and perhaps the most frightening quote of all, explaining why, no matter how much we abhor, ridicule, and shun this man, we will never be able to get rid of him.