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The story I'm about to relate to you is true. No details have been exaggerated. Sometimes truth really is the funniest thing.
Mr. Will A. Gayle V had invited me to go out and grab some Mexican food at Cinco de Mayo in Mt. Juliet with him and a few friends. Because I was going to be driving my brother Luke to his HCA student council meeting in Willoughby Station at nearly the same time, it seemed that fate had smiled upon me and my desire to eat Mexican. After eating and bumping into the great Jeff Page at Cinco de Mayo, we all hopped in our cars and prepared to head to our respective destinations.
As we approached the intersection at Lebanon and Nanaville, I got the idea that it would be absolutely hilarious if I were to jump out of my car, run around, and jump back in--a typical Chinese fire drill. Furthermore, the conditions were perfect: the light had just changed to red, there were no cops in sight, and Will was directly behind me.
I hastily jumped out of my car, ran around, and looked over my shoulder at Will, who was laughing and looking at me like, "You idiot." Feeling quite the sense of accomplishment, I bent down to open the door. Locked. I tried the passenger doors. All locked. Absolutely unable to fathom how they became locked, I turned in my confusion to look back at Will whose amused chuckle had turned into raucous laughter.
I used to always make fun of people who locked their keys in the car. Now, here I stood at one of the more busy intersections in Mt. Juliet having done the unthinkable: my keys were locked inside a running car in the middle of the road with my cell phone inside.
Running over to Will's car, he was able to get a hold of a locksmith and we figured it was going to cost around $50 to get my lock popped. Even though $50 was much more than I was wanting to pay, I reckoned that I was past due on paying my "stupid tax," as is often spoken of by the great Dave Ramsey. The locksmith said he would arrive in twenty minutes.
However, no more than a minute after I locked my keys inside the car, another vehicle sputtered to a stall in front of us. The man had run out of gas. So, here we had two cars within twenty feet of each other both unable to move due to the stupidity of their drivers. Will kindly drove the man over to get some gas at a gas station, and while he was gone, I was standing alone as dozens upon dozens of cars flew by. Fully realizing the improbability of the situation, I began laughing hysterically.
To fully understand the hilarity of it all, one must imagine a tall, lanky, man standing behind his running car in the middle of an intersection who is laughing his head off. I'm certain that the passersby thought I was deranged. And heck, I won't entirely rule that out.
As I watched the cars go by, I wondered whether they issued tickets for the illegal execution of a Chinese dire drill. I figured they must have something worked out, as I was certain that this type of thing happened all the time.
Around twenty minutes later, one of Mt. Juliet's finest slowly passed. He made it to the intersection, and then turned around. I was basically thinking, "here comes my $75 ticket for my illegal Chinese fire drill." Stupid tax is my enemy.
The officer rolled down the window and we explained the situation. Instead of grabbing his little ticket writing pencil between his ticket writing fingers and writing upon his ticket writing pad, he chuckled and offered to pop the lock for us for free. With my impending $75 ticket on top of my impending $50 pop-a-lock, I felt like he was dangling $125 at the end of his slim jim; I was thrilled.
After he popped the lock, I got back in and drove off, elated at the turn of events. As I stood pumping my gas at the BP down the road, I couldn't stop laughing to save my life.
What began as my attempt to make someone else laugh had in turn made me, the officer, Will, and nearly half the city of Mt. Juliet get a chuckle at the tall, lanky kid who locked his keys in his car in the middle of an intersection. Furthermore, I understand that there's a video of at least some of the commotion floating around somewhere, which will be posted to youtube shortly so there's no telling how many people will get enjoyment out of my misfortune. In addition, Will had the opportunity to help some random guy get gas. What started off as the worst Chinese fire drill ever actually turned out to be pretty good in the end.
God is good. Life is hilarious.
then I was like 
when they started laughing in slow motion. Then that 
until I reached the 
.
