Jokes

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witchcraft
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Re: Jokes

Post by witchcraft »

Spoiler!

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Doron
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Re: Jokes

Post by Doron »

An Alcoholic is talking to a gay guy in the middle of the night, and it's pretty cold.

"Damn, it's cold," the gay guy says.

"Oh, I've brought some soup" the alcoholic says.

The alcoholic pours some soup in a cup, and gives it to the gay guy.

After he smells what he's holding, he says: "But this is gin..."

then the alcoholic says: "There's noodles in it"
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*BlackFox
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Re: Jokes

Post by *BlackFox »

Took me a while to get it XD
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Midori
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Re: Jokes

Post by Midori »

Icealya wrote:^^I don't get it...

Ru, I hate you...

Even grown-up people are asking me that....


Didn't think anyone would. I'll try another one then.

So theres this couple who about to get married out on a pier. The woman accidentally drops the engagement ring, that has a huge diamond on it, into the ocean. The woman starts crying and her fiancé, who is really rich asks "Whats wrong honey?" And she says that she dropped it into the ocean. He says "That's alright we can buy a new one".

A few days later they where eating at a fancy restaurant and the ordered a huge clam. They open it and geuss what the found?

Spoiler!
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takolin
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Re: Jokes

Post by takolin »

X-Lax wrote:
Icealya wrote:^^I don't get it...

Ru, I hate you...

Even grown-up people are asking me that....


Didn't think anyone would. I'll try another one then.

So theres this couple who about to get married out on a pier. The woman accidentally drops the engagement ring, that has a huge diamond on it, into the ocean. The woman starts crying and her fiancé, who is really rich asks "Whats wrong honey?" And she says that she dropped it into the ocean. He says "That's alright we can buy a new one".

A few days later they where eating at a fancy restaurant and the ordered a huge clam. They open it and geuss what the found?

Spoiler!



I love this kind of humor.

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Doron
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Re: Jokes

Post by Doron »

X-Lax wrote:
Icealya wrote:^^I don't get it...

Ru, I hate you...

Even grown-up people are asking me that....


Didn't think anyone would. I'll try another one then.

So theres this couple who about to get married out on a pier. The woman accidentally drops the engagement ring, that has a huge diamond on it, into the ocean. The woman starts crying and her fiancé, who is really rich asks "Whats wrong honey?" And she says that she dropped it into the ocean. He says "That's alright we can buy a new one".

A few days later they where eating at a fancy restaurant and the ordered a huge clam. They open it and geuss what the found?

Spoiler!


Iget it, but....

I didn't laugh...
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TOloseGT
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Re: Jokes

Post by TOloseGT »

guys, the following story i'm about to copy+paste on here is epic and awesome, please don't ruin the experience by scrolling down immediately, and don't be daunted by the length, it's a really really good read:

Spoiler!

Spoiler!
ImageImage

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Snoopy
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Re: Jokes

Post by Snoopy »

whiteraven wrote:
Spoiler!

Spoiler!

Spoiler!


Spoiler!

Spoiler!

Spoiler!


lol. Omg I was disappointed at the ending!

Spoiler!


Another one

Spoiler!
<< banned for racism. -cin >>

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Midori
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Re: Jokes

Post by Midori »

Icealya wrote:
X-Lax wrote:
Icealya wrote:^^I don't get it...

Ru, I hate you...

Even grown-up people are asking me that....


Didn't think anyone would. I'll try another one then.

So theres this couple who about to get married out on a pier. The woman accidentally drops the engagement ring, that has a huge diamond on it, into the ocean. The woman starts crying and her fiancé, who is really rich asks "Whats wrong honey?" And she says that she dropped it into the ocean. He says "That's alright we can buy a new one".

A few days later they where eating at a fancy restaurant and the ordered a huge clam. They open it and geuss what the found?

Spoiler!


Iget it, but....

I didn't laugh...


Joke works much better in person.
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Doron
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Re: Jokes

Post by Doron »

sure hope so...
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Phix
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Re: Jokes

Post by Phix »

TOloseGT wrote:guys, the following story i'm about to copy+paste on here is epic and awesome, please don't ruin the experience by scrolling down immediately, and don't be daunted by the length, it's a really really good read:

Spoiler!

Spoiler!


omfg, why did i have to read that entire story for a joke i dont understand.
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takolin
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Re: Jokes

Post by takolin »

TOloseGT wrote:guys, the following story i'm about to copy+paste on here is epic and awesome, please don't ruin the experience by scrolling down immediately, and don't be daunted by the length, it's a really really good read:

Spoiler!

Spoiler!



I hate you and I want the reading time back.

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TOloseGT
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Re: Jokes

Post by TOloseGT »

but...nobody hates me *twirls fingers* =[
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Snoopy
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Re: Jokes

Post by Snoopy »

Whoa, TOloseGT posted a novel! =D It was guddd :P
<< banned for racism. -cin >>

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Doron
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Re: Jokes

Post by Doron »

damn, tolo.

you broke my eyes + scrollthingy.

and it took me two hours to read the whole damn thing.

and I also didn't laugh.
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PR0METHEUS
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Re: Jokes

Post by PR0METHEUS »

*speaks in a Pirate accent*

What be a pirate's faaaaavorite animal?

Aaaaaaarrrrrdvark!

What be a pirate's faaaavorite school subject?

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrt!

What be a pirate's faaaaavorite US state?

Aaaaarrrrrkansas!

What be a pirate's faaaaavorite letter of the alphabet?

Spoiler!
Missing the good times in SRO... :love:

SRO:
1x, STR Blader (Thebes)
54, STR blader (Venice)
0x, INT wizard (Venice)
19, INT spear (Venice)
34, STR rogue/bard (Venus)
0x, STR blader (Venus)
8x, INT bard/cleric (Gaia)

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Phix
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Re: Jokes

Post by Phix »

PR0METHEUS wrote:*speaks in a Pirate accent*

What be a pirate's faaaaavorite animal?

Aaaaaaarrrrrdvark!

What be a pirate's faaaavorite school subject?

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrt!

What be a pirate's faaaaavorite US state?

Aaaaarrrrrkansas!

What be a pirate's faaaaavorite letter of the alphabet?

Spoiler!



a Pirates favorite letter should b X...

its what shows where the treasure is right?
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whiteraven
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Re: Jokes

Post by whiteraven »

Phix wrote:
PR0METHEUS wrote:*speaks in a Pirate accent*

What be a pirate's faaaaavorite animal?

Aaaaaaarrrrrdvark!

What be a pirate's faaaavorite school subject?

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrt!

What be a pirate's faaaaavorite US state?

Aaaaarrrrrkansas!

What be a pirate's faaaaavorite letter of the alphabet?

Spoiler!



a Pirates favorite letter should b X...

its what shows where the treasure is right?


of course not,, Treasure starts with an Q :) not funny xD
WTS,,

water elements D3/4
fire elements D3/4
earth elements D3/4
wind elements D3/4

and a few sos´es,, look at topic
http://www.silkroadforums.com/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=91081

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*BlackFox
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Re: Jokes

Post by *BlackFox »

A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"

The father answers: "Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!

Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.

Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.

We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.

As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said: You got Male!!!
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PR0METHEUS
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Re: Jokes

Post by PR0METHEUS »

Phix wrote:
PR0METHEUS wrote:*speaks in a Pirate accent*

What be a pirate's faaaaavorite animal?

Aaaaaaarrrrrdvark!

What be a pirate's faaaavorite school subject?

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrt!

What be a pirate's faaaaavorite US state?

Aaaaarrrrrkansas!

What be a pirate's faaaaavorite letter of the alphabet?

Spoiler!



a Pirates favorite letter should b X...

its what shows where the treasure is right?


Well no. Most people would think R is the favorite because all the other answers start with Aaaarrrrrr... Q comes before R in the alphabet, so R is second. R is a close second because it's right after Q.

It's more of a cute joke than a funny one (although it's not the same if you have to explain it).

Similar to: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!
Missing the good times in SRO... :love:

SRO:
1x, STR Blader (Thebes)
54, STR blader (Venice)
0x, INT wizard (Venice)
19, INT spear (Venice)
34, STR rogue/bard (Venus)
0x, STR blader (Venus)
8x, INT bard/cleric (Gaia)

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whiteraven
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Re: Jokes

Post by whiteraven »

PR0METHEUS wrote:
Phix wrote:
PR0METHEUS wrote:*speaks in a Pirate accent*

What be a pirate's faaaaavorite animal?

Aaaaaaarrrrrdvark!

What be a pirate's faaaavorite school subject?

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrt!

What be a pirate's faaaaavorite US state?

Aaaaarrrrrkansas!

What be a pirate's faaaaavorite letter of the alphabet?

Spoiler!



a Pirates favorite letter should b X...

its what shows where the treasure is right?


Well no. Most people would think R is the favorite because all the other answers start with Aaaarrrrrr... Q comes before R in the alphabet, so R is second. R is a close second because it's right after Q.

It's more of a cute joke than a funny one (although it's not the same if you have to explain it).

Similar to: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!


jokes arent funny when you have to explain them :)
WTS,,

water elements D3/4
fire elements D3/4
earth elements D3/4
wind elements D3/4

and a few sos´es,, look at topic
http://www.silkroadforums.com/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=91081

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Doron
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Re: Jokes

Post by Doron »

PR0METHEUS wrote:Similar to: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!


LOL!!!!!!!!!!

Fckin hell, did I lmao.
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PR0METHEUS
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Re: Jokes

Post by PR0METHEUS »

whiteraven wrote:jokes arent funny when you have to explain them :)


I pointed that out in my reply above. "not the same when you have to explain it."

Perhaps I should have put the explanation in a spoiler tag :P

What's green, slimy, and smells like pork?

Spoiler!
Missing the good times in SRO... :love:

SRO:
1x, STR Blader (Thebes)
54, STR blader (Venice)
0x, INT wizard (Venice)
19, INT spear (Venice)
34, STR rogue/bard (Venus)
0x, STR blader (Venus)
8x, INT bard/cleric (Gaia)

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Grimjaw
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Re: Jokes

Post by Grimjaw »

tedtwilliger wrote:Since when did OTL become the wasteland for our terrible jokes?

Why does Beyonce sing to the left?

Because black people have no rights



Hahahahahaha. :D
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CloudStrider
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Re: Jokes

Post by CloudStrider »

Why do tampons have strings? So you can floss after you've eaten!

What is red, black and white? A nun with stab wounds!

What do you call a girl with two black eyes? Nothing, she has already been told twice. [Just a joke.]

A man comes into his house to see his wife packing a suitcase, the husband says "What? Are you leaving me?!" the wife replies with "YEAH! I heard you were a pedophile!" The husband then says "That's a big word for a ten year old."

Keyword - cockrobin

What's up my ass batman?! [Keyword]

Also, try saying "My dixie wrecked!" really fast, and listen to yourself!
penfold1992 wrote:durka durka muhammad gihad allah 10k plys. thats all i hear :S

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NuclearSilo
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Re: Jokes

Post by NuclearSilo »

A driver, driving a car, bumped against a bird which is flying.
The driver: "Holy shit, i killed a bird!"
The bird (still survive): "Holy shit, i killed a man!"
Playing Age of Wushu, dota IMBA

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Doron
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Re: Jokes

Post by Doron »

drunk hotel guest to the receptionist:

Look, there was a bird on my room.
Recotionist: o lords, I wonder how it could have come there, I'll release it for you, sir.
Drunk: o no, I'll do it myself.
at the front door of the hotel:
drunk: fly birdy, fly!
he lets the bird go and it falls on the ground immediately
receptionist: how could that have happened to it? it walks a bit strange, too.
drunk: well, I just gave it some mint milano's and some brandy to wash it down with.
receptionist: how could you give a bird alcohol, sir?
drunk: it was a lot harder than it looks like... first I tried to keep it's beak open with a pair of icetongs but after that I just dunk it head-first into my glass...
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cin

Re: Jokes

Post by cin »

ok translating this one from dutch to english.

guy goes to visit his brother somewhere in africa.
    guy to brother: "so what do you do for a living nowadays?"
    brother: "i castrate camels"
    guy: "ew. how do you do that?"
    brother: "well i take two big bricks and smack it."
    guy: "doesn't that hurt!?"
    brother: "nah. just make sure your fingers are out of the way."

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iGod
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Re: Jokes

Post by iGod »

a little boy runs up to his mother, saying "mummy, mummy! Why am I called Leaf?"
His Mother replies: "because when you were a baby, a leaf fell on your head".

The next day, his little sister runs up, saying "mummy, mummy! Why am I called Petal?"
Mother replies: "because when you were a baby, a petal fell on your head".

The next day, their little brother runs up, saying: "sgfkljds gflkfjd g 0fd0fdig-0gid gfdgfgfgfgfgf,,,,,.m mmmmagagggggggggggggg" *dribbles*.
Mother says: "shut up, Fridge".

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*BlackFox
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Re: Jokes

Post by *BlackFox »

Viagara Bed

A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandpa in the hospital.

"How are you grandpa? he asks.

"Feeling fine," says the old man.

"What's the food like?"

"Terrific, wonderful menus."

"And the nursing?"

"Just couldn't be better. These young nurses really take care of you."

"What about sleeping? Do you sleep OK?"

"No problem at all nine hours solid every night. At 10 o'clock they bring me a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet ...
and that's it. I go out like a light."

The grandson is puzzled and a little alarmed by this, so rushes off to question the nurse in charge.

"What are you people doing," he says, "I'm told you're giving an 85-year-old Viagra on a daily basis. Surely that can't be true?"

"Oh, yes," replies the nurse. "Every night at 10 o'clock we give him a cup of chocolate and a Viagra tablet. It works wonderfully well.
The chocolate makes him sleep, and the Viagra stops him from rolling out of bed."
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