I Can't Move on?!

[Rakion]

I have a crush on school that i was waiting till the right time... Back then i met her at 3 Grade. She was such a beautiful, talented, smart, silent, and yet she smiles at me despite of my size, kind of girl. That what i like about her, she was good and sometimes act too mature...sometimes . My friends know that i got a crush on her and some times teases us, but then that what make us apart. 6 Grade we are still class mates and I never let out my feeling that i should told her at graduation bcus i was too shy, and there are many people around us, I'm afraid that we might get teased in front of both our family and the people around us. As always there are many photographers around making there time taking each of us pics., there i saw her pic... My heart pumping faster that i was like able to rum 2 miles non-stop, but i was too scared to buy it as a remembrance . I went to the toilets, and i met her near the ladies door holding her Toga with no one else around only the 2 of us. I went to her and said hi... and the same smile flashed at me again and she replied hi also, will we ever meet again? i wispered. and GOD she said "Yes!" that was one of my memorable days of her!!! Not a day i set my mind on not seeing her again... every day i dreamed of her cute smile, her beauty that never seamed to fade(for me). she was like i believe is the one for me. 1st year HS has came i got a crush on some one else but, she was too sensitive and she doesn't even close to the one i really love. 2nd year HS another one but still the same but then she was too immature. 3rd year HS i transfered schools and i felt i have a better chance on seeing her again but still the end of the 2 semesters its like nothing happened i never got to find her. 4th Year HS still the same feeling but only i got more determined to see her again, i searched her @ friendster.com, myspace.com, shit even goggle and yahoo'ed her?!. but still no trace in fact i found some old classmates when i was 3rd grade. I asked them if they ever saw "Lily"(yeah... thats her name) anywhere? some of them started teasing me yet i developed the courage to stand the tease, and some are not able to see her, and yet some are even trying to help me like "when ever i find her i'll text you".
Graduation has came... it has let me remembered of the past 4 years of my childish life... at that time my only graduation wish is that i would see her again... 1 year college: life has never been this stiff in my life i have like enormous problems, yet i feel confident that i can still see her again. I told my teacher when i was 6 grade that where can i find her house?... he told the direction. I was sooooooooooo Farking happy that i knew the place!!!!!!:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D But then when i reached the place... it has a post in front of it "HOUSE AND LOT FOR SALE"...................................................................................................................................................................
For a momment there i though........ i could see her again....


But nothing! nothing i tell you nothing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


all those memories of happiness, joy and laughter has suddenly been crumbled down too pieces...............................................................................................................................................................................................................



2nd year College: One of my Informants have news about her.... i boasted to happiness you and laughter! it was like the day that i will ask her out! ow!!! what JOY!!!


yet suddenly this just crumbled every single thing that has made my life......




These simple words:

Spoiler!

Born: Sept. 14, 1990

Died: March 6, 2005

i need advice.... i'm currently crying like a fool right now... i cant AW GOD!!!!!!! WHYWHWYWHY!OKENtdnbdhgeoqg


WHy??????

[Inuyasha584]

ouch, that gotta hurt. how'd she die?

EDIT: that story reminded me of this story

Spoiler!

As I sat there in english class, I stared at the girl
next to me. She was my so called
'best friend'.

I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine.
But she didn't notice me like that, and I
knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me
for the notes she had missed the day before.
I handed them to her. She said 'thanks' and gave
me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I
want her to know that I dont want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy, and I dont know why.

11th grade, The phone rang. On the other end, it
was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on
about how her love had broke her heart. She
asked me to come over because she didn't want
to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on
the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was
mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie,
and three bags of chips, she decided to go to
sleep. She looked at me, said 'thanks' and gave
me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I
want her to know that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy, and I dont know why.

Senior year, The day before prom she walked to
my locker. "My date is sick" she said, has not
gonna go" well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th
grade, we made a promise that if neither of us
had dates, we would go together-just as 'bestfriends'.
So we did. Prom night, after everything was
over, I was standing at her front door step. I stared at
her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her
crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she
doesn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she
said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a
kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know
that I dont want to be just friends, I love her
but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before
I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as
her perfect body floated like an angel up on
stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine- but
she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it.
Before everyone went home, she came to me in her
smock and hat, and cried as i hugged her. Then
she lifted her head from my shoulder and said-
'you're my best friend, thanks' and gave me a
kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to
know that I dont want to be just friends, I love her
but I'm just too shy, and don't know why.

Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl
is getting married. That girl is getting married now.
I watched her say 'i do' and drive off to her new
life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine,
but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it.
But before she drove away, she came to me and
said 'you came!'. She said 'thanks' and kissed
me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to
know that I dont want to be just friends, I love her
but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a
girl who used to be my 'best friend'. At the service,
they read a diary entry she had wrote in her
high school years. This is what it read:

"...I stare at him wishing he was mine; but he
doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I
want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want
to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me!...

'I wish I did too...' I thought to myself, and i cried.

[Rakion]

ouch, that gotta hurt. how'd she die?

She was asked to but Coke to a near by store... she dropped her wallet in the side of the road her head was open to the main road.... a DRUNK!OUI#Gow4ljbisugerog Driver! suddely crashed on the side also hitting her!bvngrgjwgiwghwergbwghip OMG i'm beggining to spam now.... ow God i cant stop crying !1!1`212!@

[Locketart]

Obsessed much?

[Rakion]

got to go... still have class... is there any possibility of hiding another one like her?

[Inuyasha584]

ouch, that gotta hurt. how'd she die?

She was asked to but Coke to a near by store... she dropped her wallet in the side of the road her head was open to the main road.... a DRUNK!OUI#Gow4ljbisugerog Driver! suddely crashed on the side also hitting her!bvngrgjwgiwghwergbwghip OMG i'm beggining to spam now.... ow God i cant stop crying !1!1`212!@

who needs a hug from icealya, of course

[/Pi]

First step of recovery: Stay away from the forums.



EDIT: But then again, talking with anonymous people has helped me in the past... @.@

[Inuyasha584]

even though this sad for you, there is more fish in the sea, more bots in silkroad etc

[NO_SILK_4_ME]

ouch, that gotta hurt. how'd she die?

EDIT: that story reminded me of this story

Spoiler!

As I sat there in english class, I stared at the girl
next to me. She was my so called
'best friend'.

I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine.
But she didn't notice me like that, and I
knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me
for the notes she had missed the day before.
I handed them to her. She said 'thanks' and gave
me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I
want her to know that I dont want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy, and I dont know why.

11th grade, The phone rang. On the other end, it
was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on
about how her love had broke her heart. She
asked me to come over because she didn't want
to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on
the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was
mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie,
and three bags of chips, she decided to go to
sleep. She looked at me, said 'thanks' and gave
me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I
want her to know that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy, and I dont know why.

Senior year, The day before prom she walked to
my locker. "My date is sick" she said, has not
gonna go" well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th
grade, we made a promise that if neither of us
had dates, we would go together-just as 'bestfriends'.
So we did. Prom night, after everything was
over, I was standing at her front door step. I stared at
her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her
crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she
doesn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she
said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a
kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know
that I dont want to be just friends, I love her
but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before
I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as
her perfect body floated like an angel up on
stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine- but
she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it.
Before everyone went home, she came to me in her
smock and hat, and cried as i hugged her. Then
she lifted her head from my shoulder and said-
'you're my best friend, thanks' and gave me a
kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to
know that I dont want to be just friends, I love her
but I'm just too shy, and don't know why.

Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl
is getting married. That girl is getting married now.
I watched her say 'i do' and drive off to her new
life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine,
but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it.
But before she drove away, she came to me and
said 'you came!'. She said 'thanks' and kissed
me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to
know that I dont want to be just friends, I love her
but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a
girl who used to be my 'best friend'. At the service,
they read a diary entry she had wrote in her
high school years. This is what it read:

"...I stare at him wishing he was mine; but he
doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I
want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want
to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me!...

'I wish I did too...' I thought to myself, and i cried.

That story almost made me cry.

[Rakion]

ouch, that gotta hurt. how'd she die?

EDIT: that story reminded me of this story

Spoiler!

As I sat there in english class, I stared at the girl
next to me. She was my so called
'best friend'.

I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine.
But she didn't notice me like that, and I
knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me
for the notes she had missed the day before.
I handed them to her. She said 'thanks' and gave
me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I
want her to know that I dont want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy, and I dont know why.

11th grade, The phone rang. On the other end, it
was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on
about how her love had broke her heart. She
asked me to come over because she didn't want
to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on
the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was
mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie,
and three bags of chips, she decided to go to
sleep. She looked at me, said 'thanks' and gave
me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I
want her to know that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy, and I dont know why.

Senior year, The day before prom she walked to
my locker. "My date is sick" she said, has not
gonna go" well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th
grade, we made a promise that if neither of us
had dates, we would go together-just as 'bestfriends'.
So we did. Prom night, after everything was
over, I was standing at her front door step. I stared at
her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her
crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she
doesn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she
said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a
kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know
that I dont want to be just friends, I love her
but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before
I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as
her perfect body floated like an angel up on
stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine- but
she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it.
Before everyone went home, she came to me in her
smock and hat, and cried as i hugged her. Then
she lifted her head from my shoulder and said-
'you're my best friend, thanks' and gave me a
kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to
know that I dont want to be just friends, I love her
but I'm just too shy, and don't know why.

Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl
is getting married. That girl is getting married now.
I watched her say 'i do' and drive off to her new
life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine,
but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it.
But before she drove away, she came to me and
said 'you came!'. She said 'thanks' and kissed
me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to
know that I dont want to be just friends, I love her
but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a
girl who used to be my 'best friend'. At the service,
they read a diary entry she had wrote in her
high school years. This is what it read:

"...I stare at him wishing he was mine; but he
doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I
want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want
to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me!...

'I wish I did too...' I thought to myself, and i cried.

That story almost made me cry.

Of Fck?! This just made me worst.... 30 mins b4 class stars








i got only 1 word to say:

i WAS LATE OVER 3 YEARS

[TOloseGT]

so much angst

[Gemini]

ouch, that gotta hurt. how'd she die?

EDIT: that story reminded me of this story

Spoiler!

As I sat there in english class, I stared at the girl
next to me. She was my so called
'best friend'.

I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine.
But she didn't notice me like that, and I
knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me
for the notes she had missed the day before.
I handed them to her. She said 'thanks' and gave
me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I
want her to know that I dont want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy, and I dont know why.

11th grade, The phone rang. On the other end, it
was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on
about how her love had broke her heart. She
asked me to come over because she didn't want
to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on
the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was
mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie,
and three bags of chips, she decided to go to
sleep. She looked at me, said 'thanks' and gave
me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I
want her to know that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy, and I dont know why.

Senior year, The day before prom she walked to
my locker. "My date is sick" she said, has not
gonna go" well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th
grade, we made a promise that if neither of us
had dates, we would go together-just as 'bestfriends'.
So we did. Prom night, after everything was
over, I was standing at her front door step. I stared at
her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her
crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she
doesn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she
said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a
kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know
that I dont want to be just friends, I love her
but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before
I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as
her perfect body floated like an angel up on
stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine- but
she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it.
Before everyone went home, she came to me in her
smock and hat, and cried as i hugged her. Then
she lifted her head from my shoulder and said-
'you're my best friend, thanks' and gave me a
kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to
know that I dont want to be just friends, I love her
but I'm just too shy, and don't know why.

Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl
is getting married. That girl is getting married now.
I watched her say 'i do' and drive off to her new
life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine,
but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it.
But before she drove away, she came to me and
said 'you came!'. She said 'thanks' and kissed
me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to
know that I dont want to be just friends, I love her
but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a
girl who used to be my 'best friend'. At the service,
they read a diary entry she had wrote in her
high school years. This is what it read:

"...I stare at him wishing he was mine; but he
doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I
want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want
to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me!...

'I wish I did too...' I thought to myself, and i cried.

IS THAT TRUE?

[SykoAzn]

Ya know... If you focus on a hobby ( such as Silkroad ) you will forget.

PS: The internet isn't the best place to use as a hobby. coz you get fat and lazy (I don't mean to offend anyone that already meets these) please don't yell at me!

[.Higinia]

I love you man, no homo.

That's all that needs to be said.

pm me if you want to talk

[Dystopia]

Ya know... If you focus on a hobby ( such as Silkroad ) you will forget.

PS: The internet isn't the best place to use as a hobby. coz you get fat and lazy (I don't mean to offend anyone that already meets these) please don't yell at me!

Please, do not take that advice.

Realize that shes gone and all the wasted years are gone and not all the tears in the world will bring her back.

So, snap back to reality and move on with your life. Get out more, socialize.

I know its harsh, but there's really no point wasting more time..

Listen to me, don't spend your time inside infront of a computer, SOCIALIZE get out. seriously take this into consideration it will help

Best of luck.

[Rakion]

Ya know... If you focus on a hobby ( such as Silkroad ) you will forget.

PS: The internet isn't the best place to use as a hobby. coz you get fat and lazy (I don't mean to offend anyone that already meets these) please don't yell at me!

how does this gona help me? its not my hobby to love her its like i'm to over obsessed with her thinking every day that i might meet her again. Then it all Went crumbling down in just a few moments. I've been expecting her for more than 9 years now?!... how can i forget her!? She like the perfect one for me! how can i forget her?....

I want more advice!

i cant move on this easily....... i cant....................

[Dystopia]

It's all about your mentality.

If you tell your self you can't move on, well then might as well give up on yourself because you can't.

It's your choice, I know its not easy thinking about it in this perspective in your state, but this is the reality.

[SykoAzn]

You can move on if you say you can.
Otherwise, time is the antidote to almost any situation.

[andycooly]

sad story

[Priam]

I would normally be higly sarcastic in these kind of topics. But those 2 story's made me sad :/

[andycooly]

I would normally be higly sarcastic in these kind of topics. But those 2 story's made me sad :/

+500003234232

[andycooly]

ouch, that gotta hurt. how'd she die?

EDIT: that story reminded me of this story

Spoiler!

As I sat there in english class, I stared at the girl
next to me. She was my so called
'best friend'.

I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine.
But she didn't notice me like that, and I
knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me
for the notes she had missed the day before.
I handed them to her. She said 'thanks' and gave
me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I
want her to know that I dont want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy, and I dont know why.

11th grade, The phone rang. On the other end, it
was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on
about how her love had broke her heart. She
asked me to come over because she didn't want
to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on
the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was
mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie,
and three bags of chips, she decided to go to
sleep. She looked at me, said 'thanks' and gave
me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I
want her to know that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy, and I dont know why.

Senior year, The day before prom she walked to
my locker. "My date is sick" she said, has not
gonna go" well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th
grade, we made a promise that if neither of us
had dates, we would go together-just as 'bestfriends'.
So we did. Prom night, after everything was
over, I was standing at her front door step. I stared at
her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her
crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she
doesn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she
said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a
kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know
that I dont want to be just friends, I love her
but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before
I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as
her perfect body floated like an angel up on
stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine- but
she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it.
Before everyone went home, she came to me in her
smock and hat, and cried as i hugged her. Then
she lifted her head from my shoulder and said-
'you're my best friend, thanks' and gave me a
kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to
know that I dont want to be just friends, I love her
but I'm just too shy, and don't know why.

Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl
is getting married. That girl is getting married now.
I watched her say 'i do' and drive off to her new
life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine,
but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it.
But before she drove away, she came to me and
said 'you came!'. She said 'thanks' and kissed
me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to
know that I dont want to be just friends, I love her
but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a
girl who used to be my 'best friend'. At the service,
they read a diary entry she had wrote in her
high school years. This is what it read:

"...I stare at him wishing he was mine; but he
doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I
want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want
to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me!...

'I wish I did too...' I thought to myself, and i cried.

That story almost made me cry.

a few tears came out of my eyes

[Inuyasha584]

You should go to her grave and pay your respects or something and just get it all off your chest.

[rek]

Ever write a whole wall of text and then, last moment erase it all?

:/

[Stress]

Ever write a whole wall of text and then, last moment erase it all?

:/

Happened twice here. Third time "lucky", and I sent the wall through PM.

[DeathBeforeDishonor]

That is why drink drivers deserve death.
Foolish and selfish it is. Sorry to hear
what happened, very sad

[Rakion]

Happened twice here. Third time "lucky", and I sent the wall through PM.

i would like to say it again... Thank you Stress, it made me feel better

It's all about your mentality.

If you tell your self you can't move on, well then might as well give up on yourself because you can't.

It's your choice, I know its not easy thinking about it in this perspective in your state, but this is the reality.

I'm trying.... I'm Trying!.... but it ain't that easy to forget someone who you waited in such a long time...

You can move on if you say you can.
Otherwise, time is the antidote to almost any situation.

I hope this would be the last antidote.

Ever write a whole wall of text and then, last moment erase it all?

:/

I tried.... yet i failed...

You should go to her grave and pay your respects or something and just get it all off your chest.

i told my informant to do that for me. and i also said to him that to add a little message a bit.

[Priam]

Do it yourself m8.

[rek]

Yeah man, do it in person, it doesnt mean much if your not there. But i can understand if distance is a problem.

[Nitro]

I'm so sorry mate ... I dont know what would I do if this happens to me ... I really cant know how you feel ... must be awful ... I'm really sorry...

Gawd I'd died if this happens to me... Just be strong... those 2 stories are really really sad... almost made me cry