Jokes [ADULT]

[N1TROX]

Yes, these jokes are very mature, gross, sexual and could possibly offend some of you, so if you are among the easily offended, i suggest you DO NOT READ!!


1 - A 40 year old man and a 10 year old boy walk into the woods

the 10 year old boy says " Mister, im very scared"

the 40 year old man replies " What? Why? Im the one whos walking out of here alone"





2 - A woman is in a grocery store, she only takes a few items up to the cashier. Some grapes,

half gallon of milk, ramen noodles

the cashier says "single?"

she replies " yes, how can you tell, my groceries?"

he says "no, your Farking ugly"



3 - A little boy is talking to his mom, he asks her where babies come from.

His mom replies "The stork"

the little kid says " Then who fucks the stork?"




4 - A boy tells his dad "Hey dad, im going to experience my first blow job today, ill be back later

the dad replies "alright, tell me how it was"

the boy comes back, his dad asks him how it was

the boy says "it tasted awful"


5 - A man is in a bar, just before he leaves he approaches a good looking lady across the bar, he goes up to her and says "Hey, ive been seeing you across the bar, i think your beautiful, im getting out of here i was just wondering if youd like to come to my place, i live close" She agrees.

They go there, she says she wants to have sex, he agrees but tells her its going to be kinky, she agrees

after they finish she says "Well that was great and all but, i thought it was going to be kinky".

He says, "it was, i shit in your purse"




6 - This truck driver is driving along the road late at night, he spots a pastor up ahead on the road, so he stops to pick him up

the driver and the pastor are driving along and they see a black person up the road, the driver is extremely racist and he wants to hit the black man, but the fact the pastor is in the truck is making him hesitate.

At the last minute the truck driver swerves out of the way to avoid the black man, he hears a loud thump.

The driver says "im so sorry pastor, i really tried not to hit him"

the pastor says "you didnt, i caught him with the door"



PLEASE DO NOT BE MAD AT ME IF THESE OFFENDED YOU, I GAVE MORE THEN FAIR WARNING!

[CrimsonNuker]

[size=200]Yes, these jokes are very mature, gross, sexual and could possibly
the little kid says " Then who fucks the stork?"




4 - A boy tells his dad "Hey dad, im going to experience my first blow job today, ill be back later

the dad replies "alright, tell me how it was"

the boy comes back, his dad asks him how it was

the boy says "it tasted awful"


5 - A man is in a bar, just before he leaves he approaches a good looking lady across the bar, he goes up to her and says "Hey, ive been seeing you across the bar, i think your beautiful, im getting out of here i was just wondering if youd like to come to my place, i live close" She agrees.

They go there, she says she wants to have sex, he agrees but tells her its going to be kinky, she agrees

after they finish she says "Well that was great and all but, i thought it was going to be kinky".

He says, "it was, i shit in your purse"




6 - This truck driver is driving along the road late at night, he spots a pastor up ahead on the road, so he stops to pick him up

the driver and the pastor are driving along and they see a black person up the road, the driver is extremely racist and he wants to hit the black man, but the fact the pastor is in the truck is making him hesitate.

At the last minute the truck driver swerves out of the way to avoid the black man, he hears a loud thump.

The driver says "im so sorry pastor, i really tried not to hit him"

the pastor says "you didnt, i caught him with the door"



PLEASE DO NOT BE MAD AT ME IF THESE OFFENDED YOU, I GAVE MORE THEN FAIR WARNING!

LOL LOL LOL

[salmissra]

LOLOLOLOL very funny crimson. i loved the second one lol, can't imagine the look on the dad's face.

[StealMySoda]

6 - This truck driver is driving along the road late at night, he spots a pastor up ahead on the road, so he stops to pick him up

the driver and the pastor are driving along and they see a black person up the road, the driver is extremely racist and he wants to hit the black man, but the fact the pastor is in the truck is making him hesitate.

At the last minute the truck driver swerves out of the way to avoid the black man, he hears a loud thump.

The driver says "im so sorry pastor, i really tried not to hit him"

the pastor says "you didnt, i caught him with the door"

Loved it xD

[Stallowned]

Holy sh1t those all sucked.

Gotta be like 13 year old to laugh at that kind of sh1t or consider them "mature" or "adult"

[Caras]

Holy sh1t those all sucked.

Gotta be like 13 year old to laugh at that kind of sh1t or consider them "mature" or "adult"

I was thinking this

[StealMySoda]

Holy sh1t those all sucked.

Gotta be like 13 year old to laugh at that kind of sh1t or consider them "mature" or "adult"

I could see how some could be offensive. Mature though? No.

[SaoKill]

The last one was racist lol, but funny, no offence.

[Morgoth]

lawl

[Untitled_]

4 was.. wow

[MrJoey]

I think I'm missing something, I like jokes as much as the next guy, but these were god-awful.

[Inuyasha584]

im 13 and i didnt laugh so i say 7 -_-

[Millenium]

A repost This thread is more applicable

10 males and 1 female got lost on a storm on a cruise and they landed up on an island.

One month later, the female committed suicide beacuse she thought everything that happened during this month was too disgusting.

One month later, all the guys decided to bury her because they thought everything that happened during this month was too disgusting.

One month later, all the guys decided to dig her up because they everything that happened during this month was too disgusting.

One month later, the almighty god decided to revive her and send them all back home because he thought everything that happened during these months was too disgusting.

Imagination FTW

[N1TROX]

im 13 and i didnt laugh so i say 7 -_-

thats probably because your too young to understand rofl


@ Stallowned, your just so tough, so mature, its impossible to laugh, keep thinking your sweet tough guy

[heroo]

Holy sh1t those all sucked.

Gotta be like 13 year old to laugh at that kind of sh1t or consider them "mature" or "adult"

vegeta ftw.

[JacksColon]

I still get a kick out of dead baby jokes.

Q: What's red, bubbly and taps on glass?

A: A baby in a microwave!

[takolin]

Chuckle: 1, 4
Half a chuckle: 2, 6
Lame: 3,5

BTW Gogo dead baby jokes.

http://www.dead-baby-joke.com/

^don't click if you don't like dead baby jokes.