This post contains MAJOR spoilers so exit now, all ye who haven't played it yet. This is just a short recollection of how I totally got the wrong idea about that well-known moment in bioshock 1... This happened years ago at this point so my memory's a bit foggy, but I thought you guys might enjoy it...
Spoiler!
As you all know, Bioshock is a game which pays excruciating attention to its presentation. Everything is beautifully designed, the music is tailored to each scene, every dialogue is carefully written, etc. So knowing this, something caught my eye... You, the player, are Farking short. Door handles are eye-height, you can barely even reach the buttons on slot machines, every enemy is taller, etc. You're basically a midget. This struck me as an incredibly odd oversight in a game that otherwise pays so much attention to its presentation. Ultimately it didn't matter much, but I remained oddly conscious of this fact throughout my playthrough.
Eventually you reach the big reveal... You're staring at a big wall full of notes and pictures, the text "WOULD YOU KINDLY" smeared across it all and most importantly an audio log. "Baby is now a year old, weighs 58 pounds, and possesses gross musculature of a fit, 19-year-old" it says.
Next you walk towards Andrew Ryan and he begins his infamous talk. During his explanation various images flash by. Most notably this one; A picture of you; a freakish, chunky baby. Andrew Ryan also notable calls you "something less than a man"
And with these key pieces of information, suddenly everything clicked into place.
Thicc baby... absurd muscular growth... awkward height...less than a man...
There is only one conclusion to be made; the greatest epiphany.
Spoiler!
That's right...
Spoiler!
YOU ARE AN ACTUAL TODDLER MURDERHOBO
Spoiler!
I actually legitimately kind of freaked out, It just kind of... made sense? Like, I knew going in that the game had a big reveal at some point, but I didn't know what it was exactly either. The 'Would you kindly' crap was also great, but this bit was so absurd and mind-boggling that for a good while I didn't even think to doubt it... Eventually I read a bit online and found out I misinterpreted it all, but just for a little while there I was experiencing the dumbest epiphany in my life...
Day[9] wrote:"Tea is a lot like gold expansions - it helps you kill people." - Day[9] Daily 337 -
