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Awwww, mom. You worry your boy. Okay, it's only right that you do this.
According to recent studies the human brain continues its development until about age 24. During this development there are mental milestones that can be observed. Of course I'm out of my depth but trust that you already know what I mean. The example that comes to mind is from a book on milestones of human baby development that I read like 20 or more years ago. Babies can't make, can't even conceive of, 'bridges' until after about 9 months of age. They can toss blocks and have too much fun doing that again and again... but do you remember or have you seen? Have you watched your son or daughter to notice their first ‘bridge’ made with blocks?

I'm also speaking / thinking about the secret wonder of a baby who is maybe 3 months old. This you have seen. He is just holding his hand in front of his face, eyes wide in wonder. He slowly turns his hand and is enthralled. My imagination brings me to think that he's marveling at himself, at what he can do, as he slowly moves his hand in quiet contemplation. To me it is clear, he is noticing how he might effect the world and what he can ‘do’. It is later in life that his world expands and the "do" can be applied to effect objects. Tossing blocks is a thrilling concept when we are looking to the base of it. The concept of ‘bridges’, of joining separate things into one, is the milestone that I love (as a romantic) to observe with my grandbabies.

Let me ramble a bit, unsure where we will arrive but trusting... it's something that my mind does, you know? I need the freedom to find and express a concept without knowing what is being said, and am in the habit of rambling toward unknown things. Comfort level in me is high for this, so anyway there we are as babies together marveling at the 'who' of us, and silently making secret plans to change the world as we observe and marvel at what we can do, yes? Jump ahead to the time of the 'terrible twos' and remember the frustration found there. We are small, at two we are able to think about new and grand things, but not able to put the thoughts into words. This is the time of being able to see everything on the table, but not being able to reach or maneuver what is now in sight.

"Terrible" is the state of fear of being unable to effect the plans we made while marveling at ourselves, we are confronted with our 'not big' and 'unable'. Between the time of terrible to the time where school starts our world expands again. It was ‘Self’ and 'Mommy" and maybe "The Other" for awhile but now it is about to move again and this time exponentially. From the world of 'me' to the world of 'mommy and me' to the OUTSIDE! Summer and seasons and dirt and discoveries and behold what manner of things we have in our new world. The wonder continues and we ARE ABLE. Look, I made a mud pie to PROVE it! "Mommy, mommy, look what I did!" I jumped, ran, rolled down the hill, threw things onto the roof (see if you can reverse THAT change, hehehehe).

The concepts and the milestones I’m trying to speak of are not committed to textbook memory, and I don’t know what to do but ramble in my own manner. But then the time comes and we cross that bridge too. Going to school, right? Separation anxiety? It is ours perhaps moreso than we’d like to say. Somewhere inside there is the knowledge that with each step our children take they are moving away from us and seeds of 'empty nest' syndrome are planted. It would be nice if our baby refused to leave us and pitched a royal fit about going to school, but we know, too much we know.

Then Social aptitudes come, friendships are made and many needful things and more milestones are brought to our expanded world. So fast that the world is no longer spinning, it is swirling and spiraling and teaming with expectation, goals realized, together with new broadened challenges. Yet still, with all the accomplishments, we are yet again confronted with the old 'terror' of the twos, the terrible 2s. This time we are able to conceptualize math and language and SCIENCE! and history but not yet able to speak it out. Swirling thoughts touch at the edges only; we are faced again with old fears and our need for you, Mom, is confirmed. Your praise matters.



Focus? We are a freaking sponge. So much information is being assimilated, sorted, categorized, stored that the image of our swirling, spiraling universe comes again to mind.

Comfort yourself in this. You are unable to fail your son. His ONLY need is what you have ample supply of. It is with such ease that you provide the one ingredient that will transform him into the wonder he marveled at while he secretly listened to the thoughts of life. Mom? It is only love that your boy needs and he will not leave you until that day, that day far, far away, when he turns his thoughts to the concept of bridges and bringing two objects together into one. Grandchildren are wonderful things.