Lifestyles of the Rich with Children
Posted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 2:57 am
I wrote this awhile back and my friends like it so im giving it to you now? Its shorter than it looks so no tl:dr responses if you don't mind.
The Lifestlyes of The Rich With Children- Episode 1: Cleaning the Tub
i was in the bathroom cleaning the tub and this popped into my head
Characters
Phillip- A very rich man engaged to marry Catherine age 45
Chatherine- A very rich woman engaged to marry phillip age 24
David- Phillips son from a previous marriage age 14
Jeeves- The butler age 52
Episode 1 Begins Now
Phillip: Jeeves clean the tub i was out climbing mount Fuji all day everyday and now its dirty...so do something about it.
Jeeves: right away sir.
[in walks Catherine]
Catherine: No i shall clean the tub because i love you Phillip and soon i will be your wife.
[in walks david]
David: I need to use the tub.
[catherine tackles david]
Catherine: You can't David damnnit don't you see its not clean
David: of course i can't see woman...IM BLIND!!!!
DUN DUN DUNNNNNN!!!!!!!!
Catherine: i had no idea. When did this happen david?
Jeeves: Yes when david?
Mike: Yes when david?
Andrew: Tell us david?
Sherry: We just want to help you david
[in walks Phillip into the bathroom]
Phillip: What are all these people doing in here
Mike: i dunno
Sherry: Im not sure
Jeeves: haven't a clue
Andrew: It appears we all have....AMNESIA
DUN DUN DUNNNN!!!!!!!!!
Phillip: Amnesia. I am a doctor. All of you come with me...except you jeeves...you clean the tub...its filthy...FILTHY DIRTY JEEVES...tub...clean it.
[Phillip and strangers exit]
Catherine: That just leaves you and me david..Phillip can only love one of us so you have to die.
[catherine stabs david alot]
David: Why catherine why?
[david dies]
[bright glow surrounds catherine]
Catherine: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!!
Catherine: with davids power i can finally clean the tub MWAHAHAHA
[in walks david]
David: I need to use the tub
Catherine: what i thought i killed you!
David: No. You killed my evil twin. Derick. Now only 7 more evil twins remain...and one good twin....plus a slightly retarded twin but he's rarely around. He could be dead...maybe.
DUN DUN DUNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!
David: can i use the tub now?
Catherine: Never. Not until i clean it damn you. DAMN YOU!!!
[david leaves]
[catherine starts cleaning]
Catherine: I scrub and scrub but it never gets cleaner. Perhaps i need to use my secret weapon
Jeeves: Don't do it you fool are you mad?
Catherine: No i just want a clean tub.
Jeeves: thats not the way to do it Catherine let me help you.
[catherine and jeeves make out alot....a whole lot...for like 10 min]
Jeeves: I love you catherine I have always loved you.
Catherine: But jeeves we can't be together .
Jeeves: Why not my dearest..
Catherine: Because i'm your sister!
DUN DUN DUNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!
Jeeves: I knew it. I had always know deep down inside me that the first woman i kissed would be my sister.
Catherine: this is to much for me
[catherine faints]
Jeeves: now it is up to me to clean the tub!
[jeeves starts cleaning]
Jeeves: Damnnit. It won't get any cleaner. Perhaps if i had some help?
[jeeves starts making out with catherines unconscious body...alot]
[in walks david]
David: Jeeves what are you doing
Jeeves: Its not what it looks like david
David: Are you sure...?
Jeeves: Yes.
David: Are you sure your sure?
Jeeves: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!
[jeeves stabs david and absorbs his power]
[in walks phillip]
Phillip: did you just kill my son and/or one of his evil twins?
Jeeves: No.
Phillip: I thought i saw you kill him.
Jeeves: Pretty sure i didn't.
Phillip: hmm? Then what did i see?
Jeeves: Probably swamp gas...or herpies.
Phillip: Yes herpies that was it. I always get STDs and my son mixed up. All this talk of vagina diseases is making me hungry. Im gonna go get a sandwhich.
Jeeves: Im afraid i can't let you do that.
Phillip: why not?
Jeeves: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!..i mean WE'RE OUT OF BREAD!!!...i mean we're out of bread.
Phillip: I see. I'll send catherine to the store to get some. She likes getting me stuff and cooking me lobster dinners right? I thought i heard her say that one time. I couldn't quite make out what she was saying because i didn't really care. Something about fire and save my soul. But who cares. Certainly you don't want to hear stories about me and Catherine making sweet sweet love in your bed. Do you?
Jeeves: whateva
[catherine wakes up]
Phillip: Catherine i didn't notice you unconscious there with your legs open and a dumb grin on your face. When did this happen
Catherine: I don't know
Phillip: you mean during the course of my monologue you...
Catherine: Yes!!... i think i got...AMNESIA
DUN DUN DUNN!!!!!!!
END
The Lifestlyes of The Rich With Children- Episode 1: Cleaning the Tub
i was in the bathroom cleaning the tub and this popped into my head
Characters
Phillip- A very rich man engaged to marry Catherine age 45
Chatherine- A very rich woman engaged to marry phillip age 24
David- Phillips son from a previous marriage age 14
Jeeves- The butler age 52
Episode 1 Begins Now
Phillip: Jeeves clean the tub i was out climbing mount Fuji all day everyday and now its dirty...so do something about it.
Jeeves: right away sir.
[in walks Catherine]
Catherine: No i shall clean the tub because i love you Phillip and soon i will be your wife.
[in walks david]
David: I need to use the tub.
[catherine tackles david]
Catherine: You can't David damnnit don't you see its not clean
David: of course i can't see woman...IM BLIND!!!!
DUN DUN DUNNNNNN!!!!!!!!
Catherine: i had no idea. When did this happen david?
Jeeves: Yes when david?
Mike: Yes when david?
Andrew: Tell us david?
Sherry: We just want to help you david
[in walks Phillip into the bathroom]
Phillip: What are all these people doing in here
Mike: i dunno
Sherry: Im not sure
Jeeves: haven't a clue
Andrew: It appears we all have....AMNESIA
DUN DUN DUNNNN!!!!!!!!!
Phillip: Amnesia. I am a doctor. All of you come with me...except you jeeves...you clean the tub...its filthy...FILTHY DIRTY JEEVES...tub...clean it.
[Phillip and strangers exit]
Catherine: That just leaves you and me david..Phillip can only love one of us so you have to die.
[catherine stabs david alot]
David: Why catherine why?
[david dies]
[bright glow surrounds catherine]
Catherine: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!!
Catherine: with davids power i can finally clean the tub MWAHAHAHA
[in walks david]
David: I need to use the tub
Catherine: what i thought i killed you!
David: No. You killed my evil twin. Derick. Now only 7 more evil twins remain...and one good twin....plus a slightly retarded twin but he's rarely around. He could be dead...maybe.
DUN DUN DUNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!
David: can i use the tub now?
Catherine: Never. Not until i clean it damn you. DAMN YOU!!!
[david leaves]
[catherine starts cleaning]
Catherine: I scrub and scrub but it never gets cleaner. Perhaps i need to use my secret weapon
Jeeves: Don't do it you fool are you mad?
Catherine: No i just want a clean tub.
Jeeves: thats not the way to do it Catherine let me help you.
[catherine and jeeves make out alot....a whole lot...for like 10 min]
Jeeves: I love you catherine I have always loved you.
Catherine: But jeeves we can't be together .
Jeeves: Why not my dearest..
Catherine: Because i'm your sister!
DUN DUN DUNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!
Jeeves: I knew it. I had always know deep down inside me that the first woman i kissed would be my sister.
Catherine: this is to much for me
[catherine faints]
Jeeves: now it is up to me to clean the tub!
[jeeves starts cleaning]
Jeeves: Damnnit. It won't get any cleaner. Perhaps if i had some help?
[jeeves starts making out with catherines unconscious body...alot]
[in walks david]
David: Jeeves what are you doing
Jeeves: Its not what it looks like david
David: Are you sure...?
Jeeves: Yes.
David: Are you sure your sure?
Jeeves: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!
[jeeves stabs david and absorbs his power]
[in walks phillip]
Phillip: did you just kill my son and/or one of his evil twins?
Jeeves: No.
Phillip: I thought i saw you kill him.
Jeeves: Pretty sure i didn't.
Phillip: hmm? Then what did i see?
Jeeves: Probably swamp gas...or herpies.
Phillip: Yes herpies that was it. I always get STDs and my son mixed up. All this talk of vagina diseases is making me hungry. Im gonna go get a sandwhich.
Jeeves: Im afraid i can't let you do that.
Phillip: why not?
Jeeves: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!..i mean WE'RE OUT OF BREAD!!!...i mean we're out of bread.
Phillip: I see. I'll send catherine to the store to get some. She likes getting me stuff and cooking me lobster dinners right? I thought i heard her say that one time. I couldn't quite make out what she was saying because i didn't really care. Something about fire and save my soul. But who cares. Certainly you don't want to hear stories about me and Catherine making sweet sweet love in your bed. Do you?
Jeeves: whateva
[catherine wakes up]
Phillip: Catherine i didn't notice you unconscious there with your legs open and a dumb grin on your face. When did this happen
Catherine: I don't know
Phillip: you mean during the course of my monologue you...
Catherine: Yes!!... i think i got...AMNESIA
DUN DUN DUNN!!!!!!!
END
