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Essex Girls...

Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 9:59 am
by Isis
Most brits know what an Essex Girl is.. But I would like to share with the forum some jokes about the Essex Girl...

Q: What's an Essex girls favorite wine?
A: aw go-on take me to lakeside please please go-on take me
Q: What's an Essex Girls form of protection?
A: Bus Shelters
Q: What's the difference between an Essex Girl and a Bag of Crisps?
A: You only get one bang out of a bag of crisps
Q: How may Essex girls does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?.
A: Five. One to make the mixture and Four to peel the Smarties.
Q: What's the difference between an Essex girl and a washing machine?
A: A washing machine doesn't follow you around for weeks after you've dumped your load in it.
Q: What does an Essex girl say after sex?
A: "Do you really all play for the same football team?"
Q: What's the difference between an Essex girl and an ironing board?
A: An ironing boards legs are difficult to part.
Q: What's the difference between an Essex girl and an Essex boy?
A: An Essex girl has a higher sperm count.
Q: What does an Essex girl put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her feet.
Q: What is the difference between an Essex girl and a plate of spaghetti?
A: Spaghetti moves when you eat it.
Q: What does an Essex girl do with her asshole after sex?
A: She takes him down the pub.
Q: What makes an Essex girls eyes light up?
A: A torch shone in her ear.
Q: How do you know when an Essex girl's had an orgasm?
A: She drops her bag of chips.
Q: What is the difference between an Essex girl and the Titanic?
A: Only 1500 went down on the Titanic.
Q: What is the difference between a supermarket trolley and an Essex girl?
A: A supermarket trolley has a mind of it's own.
An Essex girl is driving along and asks her boyfriend to kiss her somewhere warm, wet and smelly.
He tells her that it's to late to drive to Canvey Island.
Q: What do an Essex girl and President Gorbachev have in common?
A: They both get farked by eight men on holiday.
Q: Why do Essex Girls wear knickers?
A: To keep their ankles warm
Q: How does an Essex girl get light?
A: Open a car door.
Q: How does an Essex girl turn the light off after sex?
A: She closes the car door

Re: Essex Girls...

Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 10:00 am
by cin
Bastet wrote:Q: What is the difference between an Essex girl and a plate of spaghetti?

Q: What is the difference between a supermarket trolley and an Essex girl?
A: A supermarket trolley has a mind of it's own.[/b]

classic. better than blondes jokes :D

Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 10:03 am
by Zypher
i guess i have been looking for sloots in the wrong places

Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 10:32 am
by Stress
Very funny stuff indeed :)

Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 11:15 am
by StealMySoda
I remember I used to find the fact that essex had the word sex in it so funny when I was younger.

Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 11:21 am
by gamef
Hey dont talk about my girls like that. :P

Essex Ftw!!!

Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 12:23 pm
by iBilly
I live in Romford, and I'm a bigger slut than any of the girls around here.

Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 12:26 pm
by Isis
iBilly wrote:I live in Romford, and I'm a bigger slut than any of the girls around here.


I'm an Essex Girl...
But I've known girls like that..

Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 12:29 pm
by cin
Bastet wrote:I'm an Essex Girl...

<3

Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 12:53 pm
by Priam
Q: What is the difference between an Essex girl and the Titanic?
A: Only 1500 went down on the Titanic.


<3 <3

Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 12:58 pm
by gamef
iBilly wrote:I live in Romford, and I'm a bigger slut than any of the girls around here.


I live in Ilford. :shock:

Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 6:19 pm
by Blackchocob0
Bastet wrote:
iBilly wrote:I live in Romford, and I'm a bigger slut than any of the girls around here.


I'm an Essex Girl...
But I've known girls like that..

Ah so that explains it. :)

Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 6:21 pm
by Isis
Blackchocob0 wrote:
Bastet wrote:
iBilly wrote:I live in Romford, and I'm a bigger slut than any of the girls around here.


I'm an Essex Girl...
But I've known girls like that..

Ah so that explains it. :)


hehe.. explains what??

Posted: Wed Aug 29, 2007 9:17 pm
by Nuklear
HAHA!
Now I understand...

Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2007 12:01 am
by Rainigul
Lol, they were all so badass.

Classics.

Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2007 12:21 am
by Sylhana
Bastet wrote:
Blackchocob0 wrote:
Bastet wrote:
iBilly wrote:I live in Romford, and I'm a bigger slut than any of the girls around here.


I'm an Essex Girl...
But I've known girls like that..

Ah so that explains it. :)


hehe.. explains what??


xD

On topic: Funny jokes, hvnt read these for a while now.

Posted: Thu Aug 30, 2007 9:41 am
by iBilly
gamef wrote:
iBilly wrote:I live in Romford, and I'm a bigger slut than any of the girls around here.


I live in Ilford. :shock:


Ilford sucks. :twisted:

Posted: Sat Sep 01, 2007 9:44 am
by Bozza
Lol --> very funny :D

Re: Essex Girls...

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 1:05 pm
by witchcraft
I was going through some old threads and thought these jokes were funny.

Re: Essex Girls...

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 1:21 pm
by satman83
talk about resurrection from beyond the grave :shock: :shock:

Re: Essex Girls...

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 1:25 pm
by maxietheboss
Lol, i have seen worse resurrections :roll:. Still funny jokes though

Re: Essex Girls...

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 1:30 pm
by Doron
finally a reseruction that was actually worth it...
Priam wrote:Q: What is the difference between an Essex girl and the Titanic?
A: Only 1500 went down on the Titanic.


<3 <3


<3 <3 <3

Re: Essex Girls...

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 5:07 pm
by Skatman
Q: How does an Essex girl get light?
A: Open a car door.
Q: How does an Essex girl turn the light off after sex?
A: She closes the car door


i rofl'd

Re: Essex Girls...

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 5:26 pm
by LockStar.
BAHAHAHAHA :love:

Re:

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 7:53 pm
by crazyskwrls
Bastet wrote:
I'm an Essex Girl...


that explains it! :D

Re: Essex Girls...

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 9:12 pm
by huejas
Bastet wrote:Q: What's the difference between an Essex girl and an Essex boy?
A: An Essex girl has a higher sperm count.

Thats my fav :love: Gonna change it up a bit and us it on ppl :P :twisted:

Re: Essex Girls...

Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 9:26 pm
by Dark Shifty
oh boy. you are a funny one. i found myself laughing out loud reading that.

Re:

Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 6:10 am
by Isis
Blackchocob0 wrote:
Bastet wrote:
iBilly wrote:I live in Romford, and I'm a bigger slut than any of the girls around here.


I'm an Essex Girl...
But I've known girls like that..

Ah so that explains it. :)


crazyskwrls wrote:
Bastet wrote:
I'm an Essex Girl...


that explains it! :D


I think that has already been used in this thread :wink:

Re:

Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2008 6:17 am
by Snoopy
iBilly wrote:I live in Romford, and I'm a bigger slut than any of the girls around here.


Pics?

Re: Essex Girls...

Posted: Fri Aug 22, 2008 8:49 am
by Priam
essex girl + Chav boy = One huge seperated family.