Joke of the hour

Skitsefrenik · Post by **Skitsefrenik** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 3:48 am

Every hour, somebody post a joke

A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican guy were eyeing a hot chick from across a bar.

She notices them looking at her, so she walks up to them.

She says, " I want a man that's smart. Use the words LIVER and CHEESE in one sentence. "

The black guy goes " I love to eat liver and cheese. "

The white guy goes " I like to cook liver and cheese. "

The Mexican guy goes up to the girl and tells the guys " liver alone, cheese mine!!"

MastaChiefX · Post by **MastaChiefX** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 3:57 am

Can they be ANY kind of joke?

Skitsefrenik · Post by **Skitsefrenik** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 4:06 am

MastaChiefX wrote:Can they be ANY kind of joke?

Go for it.

Tasdik · Post by **Tasdik** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 4:06 am

MastaChiefX wrote:Can they be ANY kind of joke?

*thinks about Masta would come up with* shudders....lol jk

MastaChiefX · Post by **MastaChiefX** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 4:06 am

Tasdik wrote:
MastaChiefX wrote:Can they be ANY kind of joke?

*thinks about Masta would come up with* shudders....lol jk

I did too, and decieded to just pass lol

Ell · Post by **Ell** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 4:36 am

Two drunks had just gotten thrown out of the bar and are walking down the street when they come across this dog, sitting on the curb, licking his balls. They stand there watching and after a while one of them says, " I sure wish I could do that!"

The other one looks at him and says, "Well, I think I'd pet him first".

Zak · Post by **Zak** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 4:37 am

lol at the joke and your sig on the 4:1 thing.

Anh_Hung_Rom · Post by **Anh_Hung_Rom** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 8:36 pm

Ell wrote:Two drunks had just gotten thrown out of the bar and are walking down the street when they come across this dog, sitting on the curb, licking his balls. They stand there watching and after a while one of them says, " I sure wish I could do that!"

The other one looks at him and says, "Well, I think I'd pet him first".

HAHAHAHA

PimpC · Post by **PimpC** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 8:45 pm

Whats a whale say when hes relaxing..?

"whale whale whale"....

MastaChiefX · Post by **MastaChiefX** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 9:08 pm

Ell wrote:Two drunks had just gotten thrown out of the bar and are walking down the street when they come across this dog, sitting on the curb, licking his balls. They stand there watching and after a while one of them says, " I sure wish I could do that!"

The other one looks at him and says, "Well, I think I'd pet him first".

lol

Website · Post by **satman83** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 9:28 pm

1= "how do you stop a taliban tank?"
"stop the guy whos pushing it"

2= a man walks into a bar with a giraffe...after drink all night the man
walks out leaving the giraffe passed out on the bar

bar keep: oii mate you cant leave that lying there

man: its not a lion its a giraffe

3= Hello, and welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid-delusional...

4=Three convicts escape from prison. They make it to a nearby town but are confonted by a policeman. "Hey, aren't you those three escaped convicts?", asked the policeman. Thinking on his feet the first convict looked around him and said "no, I'm Mark, Mark Spencer", "The second followed his lead and said "My names is William, W H Smith". The third said "My name is Ken.....TuckyFriedChicken"

5=What did the zen-master say to the New York City hotdog vendor? Make me one with everything.

Ell · Post by **Ell** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 9:44 pm

A new guy in town walks into a bar and reads a sign that hangs over the bar... FREE BEER! FREE BEER FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS THE TEST! So the guy asks the bartender what the test is.

Bartender replies "Well, first you have to drink that whole gallon of pepper tequila, the WHOLE thing at once and you can't make a face while doing it. Second, there's a 'gator out back with a sore tooth...you have to remove it with your bare hands. Third, there's a woman up-stairs who's never had an orgasm. You gotta make things right for her." The guy says, "Well, as much as I would love free beer, I won't do it. You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila and then get crazier from there.

Well, as time goes on and the man drinks a few, he asks, "Wherez zat teeqeelah?"

He grabs the gallon of tequilla with both hands, and downs it with a big slurp and tears streaming down his face. Next, he staggers out back and soon all the people inside hear the most frightening roaring and thumping, then silence. The man staggers back into the bar, his shirt ripped and big scratches all over his body.

"Now" he says "Where's that woman with the sore tooth?"

oktaytheazer · Post by **oktaytheazer** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 11:18 pm

Ell wrote:A new guy in town walks into a bar and reads a sign that hangs over the bar... FREE BEER! FREE BEER FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS THE TEST! So the guy asks the bartender what the test is.

Bartender replies "Well, first you have to drink that whole gallon of pepper tequila, the WHOLE thing at once and you can't make a face while doing it. Second, there's a 'gator out back with a sore tooth...you have to remove it with your bare hands. Third, there's a woman up-stairs who's never had an orgasm. You gotta make things right for her." The guy says, "Well, as much as I would love free beer, I won't do it. You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila and then get crazier from there.

Well, as time goes on and the man drinks a few, he asks, "Wherez zat teeqeelah?"

He grabs the gallon of tequilla with both hands, and downs it with a big slurp and tears streaming down his face. Next, he staggers out back and soon all the people inside hear the most frightening roaring and thumping, then silence. The man staggers back into the bar, his shirt ripped and big scratches all over his body.

"Now" he says "Where's that woman with the sore tooth?"

lol poont !! ^^

Q. What is the difference between a woman and a washing machine?
A. You can bung your load in a washing machine and it won't call you a week later.

Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A. "How do you breath through something so small?"

Q. Three words to ruin a man's ego...
A. "Is it in?"

Q. Why is it called a Wonder Bra?
A. When she takes it off, you wonder where her tits went.

Q. What do you call two lesbians in a canoe?
A. Fur traders.

Q. What did Adam say to Eve?
A. Stand back, I don't know how big this thing gets!

Draquish · Post by **Draquish** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 11:27 pm

What do you call an online-status obsessed, web-anonymity pleased, voice-masking 10yrold?

a botter.

MastaChiefX · Post by **MastaChiefX** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 11:34 pm

draquish wrote:What do you call an online-status obsessed, web-anonymity pleased, voice-masking 10yrold?

a botter.

draq, i <3 u man, but dont do shit like this here.

Draquish · Post by **Draquish** » Fri Apr 13, 2007 11:40 pm

The love is felt, decoded, duplicated, and resent to it's owner. ( The love is mutual

)

This is ze joke thread. That was me joke. Noeone likes me joke?

Website · Post by **satman83** » Sat Apr 14, 2007 2:19 pm

ze joke...is zhitty

[SD]Master_Wong · Post by **[SD]Master_Wong** » Sat Apr 14, 2007 2:25 pm

Ell wrote:Two drunks had just gotten thrown out of the bar and are walking down the street when they come across this dog, sitting on the curb, licking his balls. They stand there watching and after a while one of them says, " I sure wish I could do that!"

The other one looks at him and says, "Well, I think I'd pet him first".

Guy goes into a bar and see's a dog licking his balls and says "i wish i could do that" the bar man then tells him "give him a biscuit and he might let you"

Suppaman · Post by **Suppaman** » Sat Apr 14, 2007 2:40 pm

A man walks into a bar and says "ow."

[SD]Master_Wong · Post by **[SD]Master_Wong** » Sat Apr 14, 2007 2:47 pm

two blones walk into a bar....you thought one of them would have noticedd

how do you confuse a blone?
"purple "
alt answer
"put her in a circle room and tell you to stand in the corner"

A guy walks into a bar and asks for a pint of there finest magic beer, bar man pours him his pint, he drinks it, runs, jumps out of the window flys around the building 2 times and back in. This little irish man supprised with what he see asks the bar man for the same beer, he pours it and the irish guy filled with hope run, jumps out of the window......splat.

Bar man goes to this guy " Superman your a right bastard when your drunk"

i play silk road · Post by **i play silk road** » Sat Apr 14, 2007 3:31 pm

Ell wrote:Two drunks had just gotten thrown out of the bar and are walking down the street when they come across this dog, sitting on the curb, licking his balls. They stand there watching and after a while one of them says, " I sure wish I could do that!"

The other one looks at him and says, "Well, I think I'd pet him first".

hahahaha

Post by **dom** » Sat Apr 14, 2007 3:39 pm

satman83 wrote:ze joke...is zhitty

Can't be worse then the ones you posted.

_.-JaCk-._ · Post by **_.-JaCk-._** » Sat Apr 14, 2007 5:26 pm

A broke depressed man walks into a bar, sits down and tells the bartender "i'm, broke, my life is shitty and i need a beer." The bartender feels sorry for the guys and says, "ok, ill trade you a beer for something you have." The guys takes out a 12 inch pianist with a tiny piano and the pianist plays a couple songs. The bartender says "Wow, that was great, here's your free beer." The broke man downs the beer and then asks for another one and the bartender says "ok, but you have to give me something else this time." The depressed man takes out a genie lamp and hands it to the bartender and the bartender gives him another beer. The bartender rubs the lamp and a genie comes out and says, "im the genie from this lamp, ill grant you only one wish." The bartender thinks for a sec and says, "I want a million bucks." *POOF* one million ducks appear in the bar; the bartender yells out "I ASKED FOR A MILLION BUCKS, NOT A MILLION DUCKS!" The depressed/broke man turns to the bartender and asks, "you think i wanted a 12 inch pianist?"

bambskiii · Post by **bambskiii** » Sat Apr 14, 2007 6:48 pm

a horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "why the long face?"

a man walks into a bar and orders a cheese sandwich, the bartender says "oh you have to be single" the man smileys and asks him how did you know that?:) the bartender answers: cause your so Farking ugly!

Xeroist · Post by **Xeroist** » Sun Apr 15, 2007 12:11 am

A little inappropriate but still got a chuckle out of me

There was this construction worker on the 3rd floor of this unfinished building. He needed a hand saw, but was too lazy to go down and get it himself, so he tried to call his fellow worker on the ground to get it for him, but this guy could not hear a word he said. So he started to give a sign so the guy on the ground could understand him.

So first he pointed at his eyes (meaning "I") then pointed at his knees (meaning "need"), and moved his hand back and forth describing the movement of a hand saw.

Finally the guy on the ground started nodding his head like he understood and dropped his pants and started to jack off. The guy on the 3rd floor got pissed and ran down to the ground and started yelling at this guy: "You idiot, I was trying to say, I need a hand saw". The other guy replied: "I know, I was trying to tell you that "I am coming...".

LuV3r8o1 · Post by **LuV3r8o1** » Sun Apr 15, 2007 2:01 am

No X-rated jokes, please.
Ryo-Ohki

[edit]Aw, I sowwy.

[SD]happynoobing · Post by **[SD]happynoobing** » Sun Apr 15, 2007 5:24 am

Xeroist wrote:A little inappropriate but still got a chuckle out of me

There was this construction worker on the 3rd floor of this unfinished building. He needed a hand saw, but was too lazy to go down and get it himself, so he tried to call his fellow worker on the ground to get it for him, but this guy could not hear a word he said. So he started to give a sign so the guy on the ground could understand him.

So first he pointed at his eyes (meaning "I") then pointed at his knees (meaning "need"), and moved his hand back and forth describing the movement of a hand saw.

Finally the guy on the ground started nodding his head like he understood and dropped his pants and started to jack off. The guy on the 3rd floor got pissed and ran down to the ground and started yelling at this guy: "You idiot, I was trying to say, I need a hand saw". The other guy replied: "I know, I was trying to tell you that "I am coming...".

haha lol, good one.

hawt4life · Post by **hawt4life** » Sun Apr 15, 2007 11:15 pm

Two guys meet on the street.
The first guy says: Together, we've got 4 balls.
Second guy says: Oh, you got 3?

A man comes home with a duck under his arm.
"This is the pig I've been making love to."
His wife responds: " Honey, that's a duck. "
" I wasn't talking to you. "

ShizKnight · Post by **ShizKnight** » Mon Apr 16, 2007 1:47 am

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

Bakemaster · Post by **Bakemaster** » Mon Apr 16, 2007 1:48 am

What's worse than a truck full of dead babies?

The live one at the bottom eating its way out.