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Jokes

Posted: Tue Feb 13, 2007 4:19 am
by Hostage
was bored so i came across sum jokes and thought might aswell make a topic so just post ur best jokes here for sum luaghs

ill start
A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his
English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he
rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a
divorce for him.

The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the
circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

Have you any grounds?
Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.
No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
It made of concrete.

I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
No, we have carport, and not need one.

I mean. What are your relations like?
All my relations still in Poland.
Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.

Does your wife beat you up?
No, I always up before her.

Is you wife a nagger?
No, she white.

Why do you want this divorce?
She going to kill me.

What makes you think that?
I got proof.

What kind of proof?
She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on
shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say: "Polish Remover".

Posted: Tue Feb 13, 2007 4:20 am
by linange
nice ones...

my fav jokes are considerately racist, so i decide not to post 'em

^^

Posted: Tue Feb 13, 2007 5:35 am
by durant
linange wrote:nice ones...

my fav jokes are considerately racist, so i decide not to post 'em

^^


All I know are offensive jokes :D

Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2007 8:40 pm
by shadowman20875
*Resurrects the dead*

Came across this one:
I do the water and sewer billing for a small city in Washington State. Customers complained about our postcard-sized bills -- which they said looked too much like junk mail -- so we decided to start sending full-sized bills in envelopes. The month before we made the switch, I had a note printed on the cards, announcing the change. Two days later, I heard someone yelling at our receptionist, "Is this some kind of joke?" When the customer threw his bill on the desk, I saw his point. The note was printed: "Coming Soon! New Larger Bills!"