How to shower

Skitsefrenik · Post by **Skitsefrenik** » Sat Feb 10, 2007 6:43 pm

http://uniquepeek.com/viewpage.php?page_id=531

Learn the rules of cleansing yourself.

Draquish · Post by **Draquish** » Sat Feb 10, 2007 6:47 pm

Meh, I alrdy know all that

0l3n · Post by **0l3n** » Sat Feb 10, 2007 6:58 pm

I could have sworn that man was me.

Who-ho!

Nuklear · Post by **Nuklear** » Sat Feb 10, 2007 8:18 pm

"Pee."
rofl
:wink:

Pan_Raider(`_´) · Post by **Pan_Raider(`_´)** » Sat Feb 10, 2007 9:20 pm

Already read that:

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN
1. Take off clothes while sitting on bed and leave them in a pile.
2. Walk naked to bathroom. If partner seen, shake knob at her making the 'Woo' sound.
3. Look at manly physique in mirror and suck in gut to see if you have pecs. Admire size of knob in mirror scratch privates and smell fingers for one last whiff.
4. Get in shower. Don't bother to look for washcloth - don't use one.
5. Wash face and armpits. Wash privates and the surrounding area.
6. Wash butt, leaving hair on the soap.
7. Crack up how loud farts sound in the shower.
8. Shampoo hair but don't use conditioner.
9. Make shampoo mohican. Pull back curtain to see self in mirror.
10. Pee in shower.
11. Rinse off and get out of shower. Fail to notice water on floor because shower curtain outside bath for whole time.
12. Partialy dry off. Look at self again, flex muscles and admire knob (again)
13. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor. Leave bathroom light and fan on.
14. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass partner, pull off towel, grab knob, go 'yeah baby' and thrust pelvis at her.
15. Put on yesterdays clothes.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN
1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights, darks, whites, man made or natural.
2. Walk to the bathroom wearing a long dressing gown. If partner seen along the way cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom.
3. Look at womanly physique in the mirror and stick out belly. Complain and whine about getting fat.
4. Get in shower. Look for face cloth, arm cloth, loincloth, long loafer, wide loafer and pumice stone.
5. Wash hair once with Cucumber and Lamphrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
6. Wash hair again with Cucumber and Lamphrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
7. Condition hair with Cucumber and Lamphrey conditioner with enhanced Crocus Oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
8. Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red raw. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
9. Rinse conditioner off hair taking at least 15 minutes to make sure its all come off.
10. Shave armpits and legs with partner's razor. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead.
11. Scream loudly when partner flushes toilet and water loses pressure and turns red hot.
12. Turn off shower. Squeegee all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mould spots with Tilex.
13. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of small African country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel. Check entire body for remotest sign of spots. Attack with nails/tweezers if found.
14. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If partner seen, cover up any exposed areas then rush to bedroom to spend hour and a half getting dressed.

Hostage · Post by **Hostage** » Sat Feb 10, 2007 9:42 pm

Pan_Raider(`_´) wrote:Already read that:

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN
1. Take off clothes while sitting on bed and leave them in a pile.
2. Walk naked to bathroom. If partner seen, shake knob at her making the 'Woo' sound.
3. Look at manly physique in mirror and suck in gut to see if you have pecs. Admire size of knob in mirror scratch privates and smell fingers for one last whiff.
4. Get in shower. Don't bother to look for washcloth - don't use one.
5. Wash face and armpits. Wash privates and the surrounding area.
6. Wash butt, leaving hair on the soap.
7. Crack up how loud farts sound in the shower.
8. Shampoo hair but don't use conditioner.
9. Make shampoo mohican. Pull back curtain to see self in mirror.
10. Pee in shower.
11. Rinse off and get out of shower. Fail to notice water on floor because shower curtain outside bath for whole time.
12. Partialy dry off. Look at self again, flex muscles and admire knob (again)
13. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor. Leave bathroom light and fan on.
14. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass partner, pull off towel, grab knob, go 'yeah baby' and thrust pelvis at her.
15. Put on yesterdays clothes.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN
1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights, darks, whites, man made or natural.
2. Walk to the bathroom wearing a long dressing gown. If partner seen along the way cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom.
3. Look at womanly physique in the mirror and stick out belly. Complain and whine about getting fat.
4. Get in shower. Look for face cloth, arm cloth, loincloth, long loafer, wide loafer and pumice stone.
5. Wash hair once with Cucumber and Lamphrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
6. Wash hair again with Cucumber and Lamphrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
7. Condition hair with Cucumber and Lamphrey conditioner with enhanced Crocus Oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
8. Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red raw. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
9. Rinse conditioner off hair taking at least 15 minutes to make sure its all come off.
10. Shave armpits and legs with partner's razor. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead.
11. Scream loudly when partner flushes toilet and water loses pressure and turns red hot.
12. Turn off shower. Squeegee all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mould spots with Tilex.
13. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of small African country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel. Check entire body for remotest sign of spots. Attack with nails/tweezers if found.
14. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If partner seen, cover up any exposed areas then rush to bedroom to spend hour and a half getting dressed.

damn u got nuff time on ur hands to write all this out
altho it was funny readin it

Kitty · Post by **Kitty** » Sat Feb 10, 2007 9:58 pm

So true.

Draquish · Post by **Draquish** » Sat Feb 10, 2007 10:03 pm

That is SO NOT TRUE!!!!

You leave the pile in the bathroom counter :roll:

Bakemaster · Post by **Bakemaster** » Sat Feb 10, 2007 10:20 pm

They forgot:
WOMAN - Leave a giant pile of hair/shampoo/gunk mixture in the drain.
MAN - Leave the rubber bathmat in the tub, get yelled at by woman.

CrimsonKnight · Post by **CrimsonKnight** » Sat Feb 10, 2007 10:26 pm

Pan_Raider(`_´) wrote:Already read that:

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN
1. Take off clothes while sitting on bed and leave them in a pile.
2. Walk naked to bathroom. If partner seen, shake knob at her making the 'Woo' sound.
3. Look at manly physique in mirror and suck in gut to see if you have pecs. Admire size of knob in mirror scratch privates and smell fingers for one last whiff.
4. Get in shower. Don't bother to look for washcloth - don't use one.
5. Wash face and armpits. Wash privates and the surrounding area.
6. Wash butt, leaving hair on the soap.
7. Crack up how loud farts sound in the shower.
8. Shampoo hair but don't use conditioner.
9. Make shampoo mohican. Pull back curtain to see self in mirror.
10. Pee in shower.
11. Rinse off and get out of shower. Fail to notice water on floor because shower curtain outside bath for whole time.
12. Partialy dry off. Look at self again, flex muscles and admire knob (again)
13. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor. Leave bathroom light and fan on.
14. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass partner, pull off towel, grab knob, go 'yeah baby' and thrust pelvis at her.
15. Put on yesterdays clothes.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN
1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights, darks, whites, man made or natural.
2. Walk to the bathroom wearing a long dressing gown. If partner seen along the way cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom.
3. Look at womanly physique in the mirror and stick out belly. Complain and whine about getting fat.
4. Get in shower. Look for face cloth, arm cloth, loincloth, long loafer, wide loafer and pumice stone.
5. Wash hair once with Cucumber and Lamphrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
6. Wash hair again with Cucumber and Lamphrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
7. Condition hair with Cucumber and Lamphrey conditioner with enhanced Crocus Oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
8. Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red raw. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
9. Rinse conditioner off hair taking at least 15 minutes to make sure its all come off.
10. Shave armpits and legs with partner's razor. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead.
11. Scream loudly when partner flushes toilet and water loses pressure and turns red hot.
12. Turn off shower. Squeegee all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mould spots with Tilex.
13. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of small African country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel. Check entire body for remotest sign of spots. Attack with nails/tweezers if found.
14. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If partner seen, cover up any exposed areas then rush to bedroom to spend hour and a half getting dressed.

LMAO!!

i play silk road · Post by **i play silk road** » Sun Feb 11, 2007 12:37 am

u forgot about the part where men w*nk in teh shower

its a common ritual

0l3n · Post by **0l3n** » Sun Feb 11, 2007 12:40 am

i play silk road wrote:u forgot about the part where men w*nk in teh shower

its a common ritual

Yeah, all the evidens goes down the drain

RuYi · Post by **RuYi** » Sun Feb 11, 2007 12:45 am

1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights, darks, whites, man made or natural.

= BS!
Cmon no one's gonna spend ages on that nonsense, everyone knows the floor is the biggest shelf of the house!

hitokiri · Post by **hitokiri** » Sun Feb 11, 2007 12:47 am

RuYi wrote:
1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights, darks, whites, man made or natural.

= BS!
Cmon no one's gonna spend ages on that nonsense, everyone knows the floor is the biggest shelf of the house!

amen puddingbroodje. The floor is my hamper. And i wash them all together because otherwise it feels racist. let them mingle and meet each other in the washer, they are probably having a blast spining around in there.

0l3n · Post by **0l3n** » Sun Feb 11, 2007 12:49 am

Throw in some condoms to, you never know what your t-shirt and jeans might try.

RuYi · Post by **RuYi** » Sun Feb 11, 2007 12:49 am

amen puddingbroodje. The floor is my hamper. And i wash them all together because otherwise it feels racist. let them mingle and meet each other in the washer, they are probably having a blast spining around in there.

You're so thoughtful hutspot! I never thought of that!
Next time I'm gonna let my clothes mingle and mix in the washing machine too! As long as they keep it G-Rated!

hitokiri · Post by **hitokiri** » Sun Feb 11, 2007 12:50 am

Ugh...if i check my laundry and i find some baby clothes....

i play silk road · Post by **i play silk road** » Sun Feb 11, 2007 12:50 am

0l3n wrote:
i play silk road wrote:u forgot about the part where men w*nk in teh shower

its a common ritual

Yeah, all the evidens goes down the drain

and no1 to walk in on you

0l3n · Post by **0l3n** » Sun Feb 11, 2007 12:54 am

What you really need to watch out for are thoose stalkers, they hide in your drains and peek on you. Thats why i always pee directly in the drain.

hitokiri · Post by **hitokiri** » Sun Feb 11, 2007 12:56 am

0l3n wrote:What you really need to watch out for are thoose stalkers, they hide in your drains and peek on you. Thats why i always pee directly in the drain.

ever hear someone "go ah shit my eye!" ?

i play silk road · Post by **i play silk road** » Sun Feb 11, 2007 1:00 am

HTVHitokiri wrote:
0l3n wrote:What you really need to watch out for are thoose stalkers, they hide in your drains and peek on you. Thats why i always pee directly in the drain.

ever hear someone "go ah shit my eye!" ?

LOLOL

i heard someone say ah f*ck thats hot once

not sure about teh eye though

0l3n · Post by **0l3n** » Sun Feb 11, 2007 1:01 am

HTVHitokiri wrote:
0l3n wrote:What you really need to watch out for are thoose stalkers, they hide in your drains and peek on you. Thats why i always pee directly in the drain.

ever hear someone "go ah shit my eye!" ?

LOFLMAO... CANT.... BREATH!!!!

i play silk road · Post by **i play silk road** » Sun Feb 11, 2007 1:02 am

mine was better

_Lana_ · Post by **_Lana_** » Sun Feb 11, 2007 1:07 am

Hello_Kitty wrote:So true.

+1

But No. 3 takes me some time lol

Jk