So i was on reddit(like usual) but i came upon this comment:
I can relate, man.
A couple of weeks ago, I felt a shit nudging the inside of my anus - but I could tell from the pressure being exerted and from the weight that it wasn't a big one. I thought I'd wait for the food currently being digested to turn into poo and join the poo already waiting to be let out before taking a dump. Big mistake, yo. Big Farking mistake.
Two nights later, after nearly 52 hours of not opening my shit-hole, I felt like I'd given birth to an oil truck. I applied so much pressure when pushing out the poo that I actually turned red in the face and felt dizzy (though I steadied myself by holding on to the towel rail). Time to clean, but - of course - no toilet paper. I contemplated using an empty bottle of shampoo, but I decided the logistical difficulty outweighed its effectiveness so I scrapped the idea. I shouted my brother for help, but no reply. I then proceeded to crab-walk out of the toilet, and all the way downstairs (past my brother, who was eating nachos and watching TV) until reaching the safety of the guest bathroom where I cleaned myself in peace.
Problem solved, right? Nope. When I get back to the bathroom upstairs, I stand back and survey the damage. No splatter. Just one huge, fuck-off piece of shit. I flushed it twice but it wouldn't move, the force of the flush wasn't even eroding the poo such was the solidness of my excrement. I then broke a wooden hanger in half and started attacking the shit as it was nestled quietly and smugly (**** you, ariiiiigold! I like it here, I ain't goin' nowhere!) in the toilet. I hacked away at it until the shit broke up in to three/four pieces. I pressed the flusher and off it went. Discarded the hanger out of the bathroom window. God knows where it is now.
anyone have any crazy stories like this guy? lulz
Re: Poo Stories
Posted: Wed May 23, 2012 9:31 pm
by .curve
There's a reason stories/threads like these stay on reddit.
Re: Poo Stories
Posted: Wed May 23, 2012 10:00 pm
by hscorp
WTF did i just read
Re: Poo Stories
Posted: Wed May 23, 2012 10:30 pm
by Azilius
...
Re: Poo Stories
Posted: Wed May 23, 2012 10:32 pm
by .curve
Summer vacation brings all the kids back to SRF. It sucks.
Re: Poo Stories
Posted: Wed May 23, 2012 10:34 pm
by penfold1992
come on, im not the only person that fapped to this
Re: Poo Stories
Posted: Wed May 23, 2012 10:50 pm
by Miguez
Seriously pissed off by all the negativeness going on.
All the freaking new threads get flamed the same way.
This wasn't so bad.
Re: Poo Stories
Posted: Wed May 23, 2012 11:19 pm
by [SD]Master_Wong
i had a shit today. i looked back smiled, i was proud of it, the end.
Re: Poo Stories
Posted: Wed May 23, 2012 11:22 pm
by .curve
Miguez wrote:Seriously pissed off by all the negativeness going on.
All the freaking new threads get flamed the same way.
This wasn't so bad.
Because most recent threads are completely terrible.
Re: Poo Stories
Posted: Wed May 23, 2012 11:30 pm
by DinoNuggets
Miguez wrote:Seriously pissed off by all the negativeness going on.
All the freaking new threads get flamed the same way.
This wasn't so bad.
just like .curve said its summer all the KIDS are coming out..
just posted this for the lolz
Re: Poo Stories
Posted: Thu May 24, 2012 12:41 am
by Azilius
Ok, to be fair
nsfw
Re: Poo Stories
Posted: Thu May 24, 2012 12:50 am
by The Invisible
Actually that happened with my brother once, a wildly big poo that block the toilet, we flushed and flushed and flushed and nothing happened.
We ended using a bucket of water (a big one) and threw the water in the toilet at once.
Re: Poo Stories
Posted: Thu May 24, 2012 1:11 am
by Squirt
What intarnation was in your colon?
Re: Poo Stories
Posted: Thu May 24, 2012 2:22 am
by penfold1992
Miguez wrote:Seriously pissed off by all the negativeness going on.
All the freaking new threads get flamed the same way.
This wasn't so bad.
i know... all the people SHITTING over this thread!
disgusting.
Re: Poo Stories
Posted: Thu May 24, 2012 3:52 am
by SM-Count
This thread caused me to read 3 GD threads to compare lvls of terrible, I hope you're proud of yourself.
