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It's just your classic tale of man tries to rob beauty salon, woman salon owner beats him up and drags him into the back room ... feeds him only Viagra and water, and keeps him as a sex slave for three straight days. It happened in real life, though it totally sounds like something right out of Pulp Fiction. Was Ving Rhames there? Anyone order a Royale with cheese?

This all went down in a rural Russian town where apparently women are raised to be ass-kicking sex-fiends with a penchant for keeping small businesses, and hostages. Olga Zajac, the 28-year-old salon owner, is one blonde beauty you don't want to mess with -- she's a black belt in karate and allegedly floored the robber with just one swift kick.

How long 'til you think Olga's on a plane to Hollywood to meet Quentin Tarantino?

Olga dragged the robber, 32-year-old Viktor Jasinski, into the back room and tied him up with a hair dryer cable and cuffed him to a radiator. Seeing as they were in a salon, I bet there were tons of those things lying around. She sounds resourceful. Anyway, she allegedly took off all his clothes and then proceeded to use him as a sex slave for three days. You know, to teach him a lesson. Smart move on her part force-feeding him the little blue pill ... I'm pretty sure he was not going to be naturally aroused.

Olga released Viktor after she was satisfied he'd learned a thing or two, and Viktor, to my surprise, went straight to the police. And when the cops came to the salon to ask Olga what happened, she said the coldest thing ever:

    What a bastard. Yes, we had sex a couple of times. But I bought him new jeans, gave him food, and even gave him 1,000 roubles when he left.

Dang, Olga! If only new jeans could smooth over a three-day rapefest.

Both Olga and Viktor have been arrested, so it may take a while, but I'm sure Tarantino will fly Olga out at her earliest opportunity. She's the bad ass female lead we have been waiting for. She could play herself in a Tarantino thriller reminiscent of Kill Bill and Pulp Fiction. Maybe Daniel Craig could play the victimized Viktor. I can see it now ...