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Is it normal for you not to be that sad if someone you love dies?
My grandfather died today and I am not sure if I am sad or not its like sometimes I am sad then I am not then I am but when I am not sad I want to be sad but I know that his death was quick and painless but if I think this way it means that I am not sad that he died

First of all sorry for the loss and I wish you all the best.

I think it will hit you. maybe not right now, but it will. Some people need some time to 'realize' what happened before they begin to feel the sadness.

Sorry to hear that. It depends on how close you are to that person. I've had people die on me before in the hospital and although I don't know them that well, I do feel slightly sad about their death but not to the point that I actually cry or let it ruin my day. People have different ways of coping with death. Some people, especially if the deceased is someone close to them, might feel the full anguish right away and some people might linger in a state of subconscious denial as a defense mechanism against stress.

Happened to me before, but this feeling changed when I understood that he won't be here anymore, same gonna happen to you.

and " al baka2 lellah "

Sorry for the loss..

But. Did you really care for him? I mean, I know I wouldn't cry if my grandparents die. Don't like 'em really.

Not sure about my parents though. Not really fond of them either put at least I like them more than my grandparents....

Wait until you're at the funeral, It might take some days until you realise they're gone.

If it's someone close, it might take awhile for it to hit. Usually when you realize you need to talk to them...

Sorry for your loss.

heroo wrote:I think it will hit you. maybe not right now, but it will. Some people need some time to 'realize' what happened before they begin to feel the sadness.

This.

When my grandparents died, I was like 12ish. Didn't really know or appreciate them all that much since I was just a kid. So I wasn't really all that sad when they died. It wasn't until this past year that it finally hit me.

Doron wrote:Sorry for the loss..

But. Did you really care for him? I mean, I know I wouldn't cry if my grandparents die. Don't like 'em really.

Not sure about my parents though. Not really fond of them either put at least I like them more than my grandparents....

I was raised by my father as my much as my grandfather at every week or two weeks we visited him and he would always tell me of his stories and ask me about my problems but actually the last time we visited him he told us that he felt sick and thought his time was near but we dismissed it and told him he was fine and now 3 days later he died so how can some one not be sad
but actually when he told us that he might die he hoped that it would be a quick death so that we wont have to worry about him or be sad about his condition so I feel it is not right to be sad because he got his wish

thanks to all who condolenced me I cant decide whether what you are telling me is good news or bad but thanks

madah123 wrote:so I feel it is not right to be sad because he got his wish

Sorry for your loss. But you have every right to be sad.

it will hit you when your taking a shower randomly one day and you will cry like a baby for a good 10 minutes.

your view on life and death makes a difference i try to look at death in a different manor and think of getting sad and upset an insult to their life, if anything you should celebrate their life not moarn their death

إن لله و إن إليه راجعون
البقاء لله

Sorry for your loss god be with you
and really i dunno about your feelings cause never had that happen to me yet

Doron wrote:Sorry for the loss..

But. Did you really care for him? I mean, I know I wouldn't cry if my grandparents die. Don't like 'em really.

Not sure about my parents though. Not really fond of them either put at least I like them more than my grandparents....

The more i read your posts the more i dislike you more .

Ok. Cool. Good for you.

But is it that hard to dislike your family?

C'mon. Yeah sure I know by myself people dislike the talk about sex but hey^^.

You'd dislike my family too if you've met them.

The Invisible wrote:

Doron wrote:Sorry for the loss..

But. Did you really care for him? I mean, I know I wouldn't cry if my grandparents die. Don't like 'em really.

Not sure about my parents though. Not really fond of them either put at least I like them more than my grandparents....

The more i read your posts the more i dislike you more .

Unless you know his situation, can't really judge. He isn't wishing for his family to die, just says he isn't sure how he would react when it did happen.

OT: As it has been said; depends on how close you were. Even then it may be so much that your mind isn't able to fully put together the gravity of what has happened. I lost someone close and it affected me very little until I started noticing bits and pieces of my every day life that were connected to this person were missing. Then when I would start thinking about it, it would hit my like a ton of bricks and I would just break out in tears. :/ Mind you, this didn't occur for a good 3 or 4 months for me; and it's different for each person.

Damn ! Just took a look at your profile .
All this and you are only 19 years .

What did they do to you to gain all that hatred for them ?


@[Orphen] : i am not only talking about his last post when i said i am starting to dislike her .

@maddah123 : You may not feel sad right away but it isn't abnormal , but when it happens remember that it all happened to your grandfather that he lost his grandfather and his lost his but you have to complete your life and there is no shame if you feel sad or cry .

Hmm..

Not enough attention and love while groing up.

If they at least had a proper reason to not be there for me when I needed them then okay, but they're both so smart and work crap jobs with worse payment.

I don't like them for the fact that they always left me alone. It made me an annoying kid with not a lot of friends. I got bitter, lonely. A kid with a too big mouth, a lot of time on his hands and a lot of brewing rage.

Still don't have the feeling I know them, really.

The only good thing I got from them is a nice hight and good genes as in my looks, like a flawless skin, nice hair/eye color, good body build and other externally good things. But if you would hold it against my interior design it doesn't really come to a good combo. A (if I may say) handsome young man with too much time on his hands and too much resent and hate is what a lot of people fear, since they won't see it coming.

My look on my past home situation was: 5 people living in one house with a shared tv and a shared kitchen.
Kind of the Dutch Dorm feeling. You have your own bedroom and do what you do, nobody really cares if you're there or not or what you're doing.
But you'd expect more from a family. Never had that, okay?

Doron wrote:Hmm..

My look on my past home situation was: 5 people living in one house with a shared tv and a shared kitchen.
Kind of the Dutch Dorm feeling. You have your own bedroom and do what you do, nobody really cares if you're there or not or what you're doing.
But you'd expect more from a family. Never had that, okay?

Sorry, didn't mean to annoy you or hurt your feelings ?
But the sexual talking disgusts me and i can't stand it .

When my great grandma died it was my birthday and I was like idk 7 and I had this big party going on and all I could think was "wtf this party is all just going to waste, people's fun is off now and look at this great party and ice cream that we have to have fun" I particularly recall the ice cream and people not enjoying it as much as they could have. Then my grandma herself died and so did my grandpa relatively soon after, in both cases I didn't feel a thing and they were both pretty kickass for me; like really outstanding out of the way, particularly my grandma.

I kinda hope it won't be quite that way the day my mom goes just because I am not sure she'd like that but I doubt it will be any different. Btw my mom is the kind of silly woman that would trade her life without thinking for my own, she really loves me that much and when the day comes this is the only reason why I think it will suck at least for her current conscious.

Was going to write something nice here but didn't want to spend the time on it, I'll just say that I'll be happy if those I care about are at least a bit happier when I go because I was in their lives and when I do go I hope everyone feels the same way I do and they don't have a moment of sadness.

Doron you spoiled little narcissist. =/ Once you mature a bit, you'll realize how silly it is to dislike your family for such petty reasons.

OT: Sorry for your loss broseph. I've had loved ones die and it never even effect me a bit. When I remember them I think about what they taught me and how it's helped me in my life. We all deal with death in our own ways, while still kinda going through the 5 stages.


@Love, If it makes you feel better, I'll throw a party when you die! Just kiddin

The 5 Stages ?

@Love: you used to say wtf when you were 7 , lol .

The Invisible wrote:The 5 Stages ?

@Love: you used to say wtf when you were 7 , lol .

He's referring to this, most people use this as a model to understand more or less what's going on when something tragic happens. Not everyone goes through the stages in this order.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C3%BCbler-Ross_model

madah123 wrote:Is it normal for you not to be that sad if someone you love dies?
My grandfather died today and I am not sure if I am sad or not its like sometimes I am sad then I am not then I am but when I am not sad I want to be sad but I know that his death was quick and painless but if I think this way it means that I am not sad that he died

My grandmother died when I was like 9 years old. I'm now 21 and for some reason have not felt a bit of remorse about it.

I remember when we heard the news, the whole family was gathered together, everyone crying but me. I have no idea why to this day.

Fiction wrote:Once you mature a bit, you'll realize how silly it is to dislike your family for such petty reasons.

This sums up all my thoughts.

and this:

Doron wrote:My look on my past home situation was: 5 people living in one house with a shared tv and a shared kitchen.
Kind of the Dutch Dorm feeling. You have your own bedroom and do what you do, nobody really cares if you're there or not or what you're doing.
But you'd expect more from a family. Never had that, okay?

my look on my past home situation was: 6 people living in one tiny room. dad was gone for four years. never lived longer than 6 months in one place. never had any shit to do, tv was like a dream. I mean I had the most sh!tty childhood you could think of. that's all because my dad made some enemies with the Saddam regime. so you could maybe say it was his fault. but it didn't make me an annoying, little and lonely kid. my point is: the only thing that can make you like that is yourself. so don't blame it all on your parents.

but nevertheless I couldn't love my parents more than I do now. And your parents were there for you, more than you know. or else you would have been living in a shelter home or on the streets. so be grateful that they've raised you and thankful for the time that they're still with you.

Wow, so my grandfather just passed away at 5:09 this evening. Less than an hour ago.

Just like with my grandmother, I don't feel super extremely sad. I don't know if this is my way of dealing with a loss, but I feel normal and exactly how I was before I found out about this.

.curve wrote:Wow, so my grandfather just passed away at 5:09 this evening. Less than an hour ago.

Just like with my grandmother, I don't feel super extremely sad. I don't know if this is my way of dealing with a loss, but I feel normal and exactly how I was before I found out about this.

thats pretty crazy considering you were just mentioning it in this thread, i have a feeling i would react the same way in just about every case of someone i knew dieing other then maybe my dad.

cpinney wrote:

.curve wrote:Wow, so my grandfather just passed away at 5:09 this evening. Less than an hour ago.

Just like with my grandmother, I don't feel super extremely sad. I don't know if this is my way of dealing with a loss, but I feel normal and exactly how I was before I found out about this.

thats pretty crazy considering you were just mentioning it in this thread, i have a feeling i would react the same way in just about every case of someone i knew dieing other then maybe my dad.

I know right?

To clarify: I'm not some heartless person who doesn't care. I feel bad about it and I feel real bad for my dad/aunts. Just for some reason, I'm not really showing any sadness, it's not bringing me down at all. I dunno honestly.

.curve wrote:

cpinney wrote:

.curve wrote:Wow, so my grandfather just passed away at 5:09 this evening. Less than an hour ago.

Just like with my grandmother, I don't feel super extremely sad. I don't know if this is my way of dealing with a loss, but I feel normal and exactly how I was before I found out about this.

thats pretty crazy considering you were just mentioning it in this thread, i have a feeling i would react the same way in just about every case of someone i knew dieing other then maybe my dad.

I know right?

To clarify: I'm not some heartless person who doesn't care. I feel bad about it and I feel real bad for my dad/aunts. Just for some reason, I'm not really showing any sadness, it's not bringing me down at all. I dunno honestly.

if you didn't know him that well or never really spent any time with him it could be why, also it may come and hit you later on, who knows.

My dad died last month in his sleep at home. I didnt cry at first, i wasnt sure of how to react really. Not until the funeral/burial where I realized it would be the last time I see him.

Still feels surreal though. Like when I waking up I expect to see him sitting in his chair watching tv.