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Dumbass Thief
Posted: Sun Sep 20, 2009 10:04 pm
by /Pi
Foiled by Facebook: Would-Be Burglar Jonathan Parker
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By Stephen Kral on September 17, 2009
In the annals of dumb thieves doing dumb things, this dude may as well be king. Or close to. Here’s the story.
19-year-old Jonathan Parker appeared in court earlier this week for felony-level charges of robbery, after, allegedly, stealing two diamond rings from a neighbor in his home state of Pennsylvania. So far, not exactly an uncommon account: kid wants some money, likely can’t find a job, so he decides to steal. Unfortunate, but it happens. Now, according to reports, Parker was not caught mid-robbery and so far the diamond rings have not been found, yet the case seems to be closed already. Why you ask? What CSI-level work did the police pull out?
Well, apparently after successfully picking up both diamond rings, Jonathan Parker then decided to check his Facebook account, you know see what was going on. A new message from the girl he likes, perhaps? Anyway, time was of the essence, I guess, so he checked it at the house. It was midday, owners away at their jobs, why not? We’ll call this mistake number one. Now for mistake number two, Parker then leaves, but forgets to log out of his account! Oops.
Yeah, now we’re getting somewhere. But that’s not all. After police picked him up as the lead suspect (I wonder why?), they started asking around too. And Parker’s “friend” let them know that Parker had asked him the night before the robbery if he had wanted to help out. Yep. His “friend.” Mistake number three. Looks like Jonathan Parker is now, officially, out.
Bail is set at $10,000 and if convicted – a big if indeed – he’ll face up to 10 years prison time. But hey! Maybe there’s Facebook in prison now? Might not be so bad after all.
Source:
http://www.manolith.com/2009/09/17/foil ... an-parker/
Re: Dumbass Thief
Posted: Sun Sep 20, 2009 10:17 pm
by Mirosuke
What an Asshole.
Re: Dumbass Thief
Posted: Sun Sep 20, 2009 10:56 pm
by TheDrop
what a dumbass.
Re: Dumbass Thief
Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2009 3:17 pm
by Devilman
damn that is one heck of an idiot...
Re: Dumbass Thief
Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2009 3:35 pm
by Thomas42
Why do such people exist? Why? WHY?!
Re: Dumbass Thief
Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2009 3:52 pm
by SM-Count
I need to change my profile: I am... "robbing my neighbor's house, sry, don't have time to tweet it as well."
Re: Dumbass Thief
Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2009 4:17 pm
by woutR
10 years for 2 diamond rings, jesus. The punishments are really low in the Netherlands, but 10 years for this? Not a bit extreme?
I doubt you'd get more than a couple of months or a year tops for that in the Netherlands.
Re: Dumbass Thief
Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2009 4:35 pm
by *BlackFox
OMFG, that thief is a freakin dumbass!
Re: Dumbass Thief
Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2009 4:38 pm
by DarkJackal
Yea thats pretty stupid. He should of taken the computer ;d.
Or yea, not use it.
Re: Dumbass Thief
Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2009 5:00 pm
by *BlackFox
DarkJackal wrote:He should of taken the computer ;d.
I think doing so would be a mistake “number four”.. xD
Re: Dumbass Thief
Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2009 5:03 pm
by Thomas42
^
Stealing comp > leaving dox on it
imo
Re: Dumbass Thief
Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2009 5:28 pm
by Melez
woutR wrote:10 years for 2 diamond rings, jesus. The punishments are really low in the Netherlands, but 10 years for this? Not a bit extreme?
I doubt you'd get more than a couple of months or a year tops for that in the Netherlands.
Exactly the same in here, there was a case where a guy threw a molotov into my uncle's cafe burning the whole place. There were no casualties, but the guy got only two months!
My opinion: He got the 10 years and deserved them right. Throughout his jail time he'll think over what he did for the past 10 years and if he will lay a finger on diamonds again.
Re: Dumbass Thief
Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2009 6:42 pm
by Swindler
Clever thief is clever.
Re: Dumbass Thief
Posted: Mon Sep 21, 2009 7:26 pm
by Toshiharu
brb tweeting that I got arrested for robbing.