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Well its nothing much its my first song and all my friends say its amazing. and i just wanted to know all of your honest opinions.
thx much
here it is:

She has blue eyes but grey ways
the sun always shines but in her eyes its all just the same
living life without A care, live or die its just another metaphorical say.
hey, hey, hey
you are the only one that understands
you are the only one that knows what we're meant to be!
all day i sit alone thinking of you...
i wounder why and how life came to be this way
maybe living alone is the way we all were meant to be
hey, hey, hey
you are the only one that understands
you are the only one that knows what we're meant to be
how i feel -you know- what i say matters
you make life change for the better
truth is, but yet its so hard to say i think im falling apart for your amazing ways!
hey, hey, hey
you are the only one that understands
you are the only one that knows that we're meant to be....

what do you think?
be honest

ITS COMPLETE SHIZ!

j/k :]
Looks great, like the pop punk "HEY HEY HEY" it has

Kraq wrote:ITS COMPLETE SHIZ!

j/k :]
Looks great, like the pop punk "HEY HEY HEY" it has

yeah i planned on it like being a punk rock/ scremo/emo rockish theme
cause thats what Im into
http://view.playlist.com/7080856587/standalone

you know how to play instruments, like piano or guitar. if not find someone how will. It sounds quite good really i'm willing to hear it. post it on youtube or something

my bro plays a AMAZING guitar, i play drums. and my friend debbie is amazing on piano.
ionno if i wanna send them it
im kinda embarrassed
its not that good...
and i kinda wrote it for this girl

If it soudns great, than send her the link be like " Oh its this new band :}} Their really good :]]"

That actually looks pretty Decent Imo. Nice Job.

Kraq wrote:If it soudns great, than send her the link be like " Oh its this new band :}} Their really good :]]"

she already knows about the song. But my friends dont know about her. dont worrie im not lost in the way of women. You wont be seeibg me posting here asking about girls

Lol i totally get you, i like this girl but my friends wuld be all U FU.CK U if i tell them

Kraq wrote:Lol i totally get you, i like this girl but my friends wuld be all U FU.CK U if i tell them

yeah. i wanna ask out this girl debbie. I can tell she likes me and we hang like every day. I actually just got home from being with her. But i already has a gf and she has a bf. xD. Anyway. Im not good at writing music. Just lyrics. I have a sound of what id like the song to be in my head but idk how to make it into notes

No offence but i thin kits terrible.

It has the same old generic theme of love with the same old messages everyone seems to produce " i like someone, i like to think about them. they are special to me". The language is bland and unoriginal like it was written within a few minutes.

But on the positive side im sure its heart felt and she means a lot to you blah blah blah

You should call the song Debbie.
And urrr. if you 'already have a girlfriend' and you like Debbie (lol sorry, its such a funny name), then you should break up with your current GF.

Why would you want to write a song like that? It has no artistic value.. hey hey hey? ;s

Uber kudos
A Skylit Drive pwns.

It beats britney's new song (though the video is hawt).

Priam wrote:It beats britney's new song (though the video is hawt).

you mean Womanizer or Ooh Ooh Baby??

I likes but I need music, dear

Icealya wrote:

Priam wrote:It beats britney's new song (though the video is hawt).

you mean Womanizer or Ooh Ooh Baby??

I likes but I need music, dear

the one where she's nekkid in the sauna.

womanizer...

Icealya wrote:womanizer...

hmmk.

I watched it on Geenstijl.nl

They told me to turn the sound off, and just watch the video, so i did.

iGod wrote:Why would you want to write a song like that? It has no artistic value.. hey hey hey? ;s

i know. I couldnt think of anything else >< if you guys could think of some differeny lyric to put in there it would be awesome. its my first song. Well... Unless you wanna cout the bunny song that me and my friends made. @tedwiller i cant just breakup with my gf cause i asked her out like 2 days ago. I gotta get a reason then let the relationship run its self off corse

Make it a Screamo song and you've got something. LOL.

Draquish wrote:Make it a Screamo song and you've got something. LOL.

*GASPS* mah thred has abeen strechedid!! my friend has his own band. -Th great giveaway- -myspace.com/thegreatgiveawaymusic - and i was thinking about sending him the song

The lyrics are sweet...but it would definitely be 100x better with a catchy tune to it. Don't be embarassed, lol, the worst you'll get is a "no" and I don't see any difficulty in overcoming that. They're your kin, lol, they won't say anything bad

Mr.Ganji wrote:The lyrics are sweet...but it would definitely be 100x better with a catchy tune to it. Don't be embarassed, lol, the worst you'll get is a "no" and I don't see any difficulty in overcoming that. They're your kin, lol, they won't say anything bad

the guy that has his own band is like the coolest guy in this small lil town i live in. Everyone knows him. When we are hanging out with him like everyone that walks by says 'hi tommy!' he will say hi even though he doesnt know them. And since hes like hella tiight i dont wanna do anything to make him think im immature and not be around me anymore. I would write music for the song but im not good at the music part just the lyrics. Thats where i was hoping you guys come in? Any online sound programs i can play with or anything?

I'm gonna' very blunt and honest with you on this one; you would most likely have to do a lot of editing since it seems to me that you didn't write a "song" yet. IMO, the best way to write a song is by writing the lyrics after you've established the instrumentals as a base first. Otherwise the song would sound "forced," crappy, and it would not have any unique qualities just like most of the so-called music being produced today. But I don't know, you might find a way to make it work or whatever but I really believe that anyone can scribble a bunch of pseudo-poetic words but it doesn't mean that it's a song or lyrics for a song.

I usually keep my opinion to myself when it comes to these things since I don't wanna upset people about their work but..dude, the entire thing sounds like a big cliche. I'm not saying that it sounds uncreative and whiny (well it is) but try to be a bit more creative when you write your words down especially since it seems like you're planning to let the song revolve around the lyrics. I really don't want to be mean or anything but it really looks like it was written by an 11-year-old who got overdosed with MTV.

Hey ho, let's go..work on it and have fun.

LMFAO!!! Dude that just made my day rofl!!! So then i shouldnt send the lyrics to tommy? I know if i send them and he likes them he could make some AMAZING music for it.

"constructive criticism"

brentonsbbe359 wrote:LMFAO!!! Dude that just made my day rofl!!! So then i shouldnt send the lyrics to tommy? I know if i send them and he likes them he could make some AMAZING music for it.

You wanted an honest opinion, you got an honest opinion. But since it sounds like the only opinions you care about are the positive ones, I'm gonna' write you another one.

Wait, let me try this again.....

HOLY SHIT!Dude this is amazing! I love the way you write..it's very romantic and upbeat at the same time. You should definitely ask that Tommy guy to turn this into a song. You just need some background music and it's perfect.

Happy?
Next time don't bother asking for people's opinions if the only ones you want to hear are the positive ones. You're better off just telling people how "awesome" you think your "song" is instead of asking them what they think about it. It really gives others the impression that you're cheeky

@ inky
i was being serious i loved your honesty
idc if it sucks.
i sing random things so much i could write 20 songs if i wasn't so lazy.
maybe one day i could try writing some thing different and better.