www.bash.org

woutR · Post by **woutR** » Sun Jun 10, 2007 10:13 am

I

that site, it has quotes from IRC, if you haven't read it yet, go do so cause you're missing out.
I lmao so bad omg

<cassius_clay13> so I was with my friend bryan the other night in a bar
<cassius_clay13> well he got really drunk and said he was gonna puke
<cassius_clay13> so i helped him walk to the toilet
<cassius_clay13> all the stalls were occupied
<emoti_conartist> lol
<cassius_clay13> bryan is a rugby player... so a big guy
<cassius_clay13> so he Farking KICKS one of the stall doors open
<cassius_clay13> and there's this guy in there taking a shit
<emoti_conartist> hahahahahaha
<cassius_clay13> and bryan throws up ALL OVER HIM
<cassius_clay13> then (this is genius) bryan thinks 'oh shit... if i were taking a shit and someone came in and was sick all over me, i'd want to **** him up... so i'd better hit him first'
<cassius_clay13> so he Farking SMACKS this guy in the face
<cassius_clay13> and runs away
<cassius_clay13> imagine being that guy... WORST NIGHT OUT EVER

ROFL!

<turno> I want to **** Michelle's brains out with my huge Farking cock, over and over again .. and then her sister can come and join us too.
<Seeker> Err turno, your mom reads the quotes on bash.org?
<turno> I'll Farking KILL YOU! !
<Seeker> Your mom does work for the church ? If she reads what you just said she'd be pretty angry right?
<turno> Dude you have no Farking clue, don't seriously... you'd be ruining my life.
<Seeker> Don't worry, I won't post it.
[Privmsg] <Seeker> Hey dude, I'm gonna paste something - will you post it on bash.org?
[Privmsg] <opiate> the turno thing? haha you Farking bastard!!
[Privmsg] <Seeker> hehe his mom's gonna Farking kill him, drag him to that church they go to and get the priest to sodomise him.
[Privmsg] <opiate> yeah and then he's gonna come Farking kill us, still I reckon it's worth it;)
[Privmsg] <turno> You're not gonna post it are you ? Please don't .. I'm begging you.
[Privmsg] <Seeker> I'm not gonna post it:) and even if I did she'd never know that your nick turno was her son Michael Savu .
[Privmsg] <turno> *phew* spose you have a point

Good stuff

http://www.bash.org

MrFudge · Post by **MrFudge** » Sun Jun 10, 2007 10:29 am

lmao worst night out ever.

<T-Wolf> man, my girlfriend left me for some ****** named robert
<RdAwG20> you don't live in Hope mills do you?
<T-Wolf> ya, why man?
<RdAwG20> lol, just wondering, was her namne alisson?
<T-Wolf> you mother fucker

lol

<Th3No0b> Im going to be the next hitler
<Th3No0b> Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown
<RageAgainsttheAmish> why the clown
<Th3No0b> See? no one cares about the jews
<RageAgainsttheAmish> lmao

AH HAHAH

---- omg i actually cried to this one >>
<Sabdo> on one of those speech-to-text programs my friend ripped ass onto the mic.
<Sabdo> and it typed out "France"
<Sabdo> we were like, wtf?

StaticX · Post by **StaticX** » Sun Jun 10, 2007 1:30 pm

lmfao......

<mage> what should I give sister for unzipping?
<Kevyn> Um. Ten bucks?
<mage> no I mean like, WinZip?

hehe
<NES> lol
<NES> I download something from Napster
<NES> And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done
<NES> I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you"
<NES> "getting my song back fucker"

<Jeedo> hey baby, whats up?
<Indidge> umm....nothing?
<Jeedo> So....want me to like come over today so we can ****?
<Indidge> Wait....did you want to speak to my daughter?
<Jeedo> Yes Mrs.Miller.. :-/

I'm done reading them

cin · Post by **cin** » Sun Jun 10, 2007 1:55 pm

LOL

<3 that stuff

[SD]Twysta · Post by **[SD]Twysta** » Sun Jun 10, 2007 1:59 pm

LMAO

See? No one cares about the jews.

hahahaha im gonna check this out.

DarkJackal · Post by **DarkJackal** » Sun Jun 10, 2007 2:01 pm

lol bash owns~.

<dez> lol got some hot lesbian thinking im one
<g0dly1> heh, same, actually, just sent her a pic of my ex
<dez> .....
<dez> is your sceenname josihawt190?
<g0dly1> yes
<g0dly1> F**K
<dez> oh s**t
<g0dly1> we never speak of this to anyone
<dez> agreed

ElMejorGlavie · Post by **ElMejorGlavie** » Sun Jun 10, 2007 2:03 pm

Omg, that jew one is so funny..I couldn't stop laughing.

[SD]Twysta · Post by **[SD]Twysta** » Sun Jun 10, 2007 2:10 pm

haha

<blazemore> omg i love this song
<blazemore> Now playing: Unknown Artist - Track 2 @ 128 Kbps. (0:47/3:24)
<Javi> blazemore: yeah, that's a bad ass song

<superwoman> I had a boyfriend once that made me suck him off while I had a mouthful of beer.
<GrandCow> HAHAHAHA that was me bitch!
<superwoman> DANNY?!?!?!
<GrandCow> MOM?!?!?!?!

haha funny shit

ElMejorGlavie · Post by **ElMejorGlavie** » Sun Jun 10, 2007 2:15 pm

<Kazz> Do vampires have anuses? Cause that's why I wouldn't let this kid invade a vampire's anus in this RPG, right, I was GMing, and his character was an Anus Shade, with the power to possess and control the anuses of people and animals.. and I figured that vampires don't have anuses.
<Zaratustra> a vampire's anus is present, but non-working.
<Zaratustra> like a network card without the appropriate driver.
<Kazz> Wow. You're the biggest dork on Earth.
<Sharkey> And you're DMing an rpg with Anus Shades.

omg....this site owns.

Key-J · Post by **Key-J** » Sun Jun 10, 2007 2:19 pm

This one made me hit my leg

t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say...
BlackAdder> WRONG BTICH
BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU
BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES
BlackAdder> IN FACT
BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW
BlackAdder> I DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE
BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT ****
*** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*
*** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
CRCError> right
heartless> Right.
r3v> right

To good to be true

<DeadMansHand> haha, last night, me and pete went out to celebrate his engagement and got hugely drunk
<DeadMansHand> we got this great idea to bury eachother in the sand close to the water and see who would chicken out first
<DeadMansHand> took about a half hour, but the water got up to my face so i freaked and got out
<DeadMansHand> i looked around for pete and he must've chickened out before me and stumbled home or something heh
<DeadMansHand> What'd he say when he woke up this morning?
<Thirteen-> uhh.. he hasn't come home yet.. i thought he was staying with you?
<DeadMansHand> holy ****.
<DeadMansHand> i Farking hope im wrong about what im thinking right now
<DeadMansHand> im Farking going back to the beach to make sure
<DeadMansHand> if he gets home, call me, i don't want to be worrying about this
<Thirteen-> will do. you better hope he's not still buried, you'll be in deep shit.
quit: (DeadMansHand)
<Tyran> wtf? pete came home last night you ****. Ken's going to be worrying about this shit all day
<Thirteen-> haha yea, but it will be fun while it lasts
join: (PeteRepeat) (bob@3F8C4655.11D1C8C.18637D35.IP)
<PeteRepeat> Farking ken
<PeteRepeat> ken... that fucker buried me in the sand last night, i ran off about 5 minutes to it, left him there to be an idiot
<quiqsilver> pete, ken didn't come back last night, i thought he was with you.
<PeteRepeat> oh ****.
<PeteRepeat> if ken shows up, make sure he doesn't know that im at the beach digging for his body. i don't want him to think i care or anything.
quit: (PeteRepeat)
<Thirteen-> rofl. Those 2 are going to get a huge surprise when they meet at the beach.
<Tyran> i can't beleive how perfect their timing was

Id kill the guy

<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks?
<TheXPhial> vaccuums
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
<TheXPhial> black holes
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
<TheXPhial> lava?

Wahahaha, i understand what this guy was thinking!!

<anamexis> oh man
<anamexis> I was opening a coke, right
--> Beefpile (~mbeefpile@cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined #themacmind
<anamexis> and it exploded
<anamexis> ALMOST all over my keyboard
<anamexis> but I got it away just in time
<-- Beefpile has quit (sick fuckers)
<anamexis> :<

Id pay to have seen this with my kidney!

Rabidplaybunny87: Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me
GarbageStan23: why?
Rabidplaybunny87: Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s'mores and all... and suddenly we here sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us.
Rabidplaybunny87: So we all went running to see what was up, and our neigbor's house was on fire!
GarbageStan23: oh shit!
Rabidplaybunny87: Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever
Rabidplaybunny87: Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire....
Rabidplaybunny87: talk about bad timing...

This one is PG-13

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 chicken of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?
--------------
BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

Thats why we never joke about cookies!

<glome> Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?!
<content> glome stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
<glome> Who me?!
<content> Yes you!
<glome> Couldn't be!
<content> Then WHO?!!
<glome> Woody stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
*** glome has been kicked by DrWoody (**** you i didn't touch the motherfucking cookie, bitch)

Just funny

<VolteFace`> don't you hate it when you shit on the floor, and you can hear it fall but you have no idea where it actually landed, and spend like 5 minutes looking for it
<peng> ...
<peng> what?
<VolteFace`> oh shit
<VolteFace`> don't you hate it when you DROP shit

I think one of the best. It made me tear

<Locl-Yocl> I helped the EMTs at a car wreck and got blood all over my arms and shirt. It looked like I murdered 20 people with a fork... anyway, I walked into a convieniance store down the street and said my girlfriend needs a tampon. The guy at the counter was mortified.

The Intraweb stupidity!

<JonTG> Man, my penis is so big if I laid it out on a keyboard it'd go all the way from A to Z
<JonTG> wait, shit

OOO i feeel soory for the guy

<reo4k> just type /quit whoever, and it'll quit them from irc
* luckyb1tch has quit IRC (r`heaven)
* r3devl has quit IRC (r`heaven)
* sasopi has quit IRC (r`heaven)
* phhhfft has quit IRC (r`heaven)
* blackersnake has quit IRC (r`heaven)
<ibaN`reo4k[ex]> that's gotta hurt
<r`heaven>

O the irony!

<Raven> I tried setting my hotmail password to penis.
<Raven> It said my password wasn't long enough.

Hhahahaa

<frank> can you help me install GTA3?
<knightmare> first, shut down all programs you aren't using
frank has quit IRC. (Quit)
<knightmare> ...

Aight thats enough for now, im still reading them though. I swear im gna pee my pants soon enough

woutR · Post by **woutR** » Sun Jun 10, 2007 2:24 pm

yeah the JonTG quote made me lol so hard. I look pretty stupid laughing at the computer all by myself, my mother came and asked me if I was smoking weed, ROFL!

DS^ · Post by **DS^** » Sun Jun 10, 2007 2:40 pm

rofl

<@David> Yay I get laid today! Been a month.... needing it by now
<@Sony> ...........
<@Sony> TMI TMI TMI
<@David> Only a few hundred pounds but its better than nothing
<Malpine> Thanks for the info
<@David> eh?
<@David> damn i meant PAID
<@David> I get PAID today
<@David> dammit

lmao

<cassius_clay13> so I was with my friend bryan the other night in a bar
<cassius_clay13> well he got really drunk and said he was gonna puke
<cassius_clay13> so i helped him walk to the toilet
<cassius_clay13> all the stalls were occupied
<emoti_conartist> lol
<cassius_clay13> bryan is a rugby player... so a big guy
<cassius_clay13> so he Farking KICKS one of the stall doors open
<cassius_clay13> and there's this guy in there taking a shit
<emoti_conartist> hahahahahaha
<cassius_clay13> and bryan throws up ALL OVER HIM
<cassius_clay13> then (this is genius) bryan thinks 'oh shit... if i were taking a shit and someone came in and was sick all over me, i'd want to **** him up... so i'd better hit him first'
<cassius_clay13> so he Farking SMACKS this guy in the face
<cassius_clay13> and runs away
<cassius_clay13> imagine being that guy... WORST NIGHT OUT EVER

XemnasXD · Post by **XemnasXD** » Sun Jun 10, 2007 3:57 pm

lmao

<YuFFie> SO U HACKING ME THEN HUH
<YuFFie> WElL I GOT NEWS FOR U MISTER I GOT MORE FIREWALL POWERS NOW SO IM SECURE AND IM USING WINDOWS 98 SO IM REALLY SECURE FROM HACKERS LIKE YOU SO YOU BETTA JUST GIVE UP CUZ U GOT NO HOPE MISTER.
* YuFFie (~mirc@3B942731.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) Quit (Quit: Owned.)
* YuFFie (~mirc@3B942731.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) has joined #
<YuFFie> HELP MY MOUSE IS MOVING BY IT SELF

CrimsonNuker · Post by **CrimsonNuker** » Sun Jun 10, 2007 4:15 pm

DarkJackal wrote:lol bash owns~.

<dez> lol got some hot lesbian thinking im one
<g0dly1> heh, same, actually, just sent her a pic of my ex
<dez> .....
<dez> is your sceenname josihawt190?
<g0dly1> yes
<g0dly1> F**K
<dez> oh s**t
<g0dly1> we never speak of this to anyone
<dez> agreed

lol i think i felt a drop of pee! XD

Snudge · Post by **Snudge** » Sun Jun 10, 2007 4:16 pm

<tatclass> YOU ALL SUCK DICK
<tatclass> er.
<tatclass> hi.
<andy\code> A common typo.
<tatclass> the keys are like right next to each other.

Favorite. By far.

<Pseudonym> I got my mom addicted to GTA3 by accident ><

Oops?

<Jemm> this is where he gets his inspiration from
<ZondrZout> I almost spend more time IRC'ing than I spend painting and creating art!
<Morfi_> uhm inspiration from irc ? what do you mean ?
<Jemm> well, talking with bunch of lunatics give funny ideas
<ZondrZout> Not to mention a good QDB!
<Morfi_> QDB what it is ?
<ZondrZout> Quasi Donderende Boombladeren
<ZondrZout> It's Dutch for something like 'positive energie'
<Jemm> QDB is all around us. It binds the Universe together
<Jemm> Use the QDB, ZondrZout!

Totally fuckin' Imba. Love the Dutch language.

<sluggy> my essay kinda sucks, its not long enough
<Stooert> talk about fight club
<sluggy> Both Caesar and Brutus had good intentions and good qualities about them. However, they both contained flaws that led to their downfall, thus making them both "tragic heroes" in the Shakespearian sense. Self improvement is masturbation, and you are not your Farking Khakis.

Totally random.

@TokSic: imagine having 3 terabytes of unreleased porn
@TokSic: i would be a billionaire
@SnypeTEST: cool!
@SnypeTEST: u can be bill gates.... except.... what your selling is usefull

Hehe, Touché

<EvilN> i still dont get why water cooling doesnt fry the circuitry.

Totally non-dork!

<@LinuxGrrl> 'president bush, your popcorn burned. we have the fbi investigating the terrorist attack on your evening snack.'

...

<Mystic_Fibrosis> wouldn't be ironic if my worth as a person was determined by my connection quality?
<nosmo> you are unreliable and frequently die
<nosmo> but quite fast
<nosmo> me however Fast, I can keep going for 8 days (so far) can get huge amounts done in seconds

XD Lol.

buservt: I was trying to find a tape downstairs, and I have diarhea, and I had to shit really bad, and I saw a copy of austin powers, and there was a picture of fat bastard on it when he is trying to eat mini me, and I thought (in fat bastards voice) "stay in my butthole" and I laughed so hard I shit all over myself
buservt: another pair of shorts ruined

Pwned.

<Urashima> I wonder if it's morally defensible to kill my neighbours for having a crappy taste in music and wanting to share it with me early in the morning... -_-

Amen.

<m00> Why does the mexican olympic team suck?
<m00> everyone who can run, jump or swim is already in the US

Lacrosse · Post by **Lacrosse** » Sun Jun 10, 2007 5:02 pm

lol

DragonflyBlade21: A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

<scirDSL> I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying "You're next". They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals.

rofl

<Fenris> My mom found me perusing bash.org and looking up quotes about incest, and was like OMG!
<Fenris> Now she actually goes there regularly to make sure there aren't any new text words that have been searched for
<Fenris> I saw her looking at the site yesterday, and was like, "WTF??"
<Fenris> And she said she was just checking to see what kind of stuff I look at online.
<Fenris> I swear, someday I'm just going to rape that bitch.
<ctone> ...
<ctone> now theres a quote for bash.org
<Fenris> Don't you Farking dare.

hehe

random girl: hey!
me: ...hi?
me: who is this?
random girl: Jessica, I saw u on myspace
random girl: ur hot
me: thanks
random girl: np
me: this girl keeps bugging me, but I don't want to talk to her
me: what should I do?
random girl: make up sum excuse, like ur mom is kickin u off or sumthing
me: oh alright
me: I have to go
me: my mom is kicking me off
me: bye

MrJoey · Post by **MrJoey** » Sun Jun 10, 2007 6:01 pm

Snudge wrote:
<m00> Why does the mexican olympic team suck?
<m00> everyone who can run, jump or swim is already in the US

Best one I've seen so far.

inuyasah584 · Post by **inuyasah584** » Sun Jun 10, 2007 6:18 pm

<James> i didn't know this sort of thing really happened, but the other day i came home from school early and walked in on my mom having sex with a ups guy.
<morningbell>What did you do?
<James> i hate my dad so i ordered a bunch of shit from the internet that will be delivered by ups.

exality · Post by **exality** » Sun Jun 10, 2007 6:41 pm

#155268 +(135)- [X]

<Spiral> sdfklsd;fjs;dlkfjlsd
<audiosonic> THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOUR KEYBOARD
<Spiral> Dude.
<audiosonic> that's better.

PB_and_J · Post by **PB_and_J** » Sun Jun 10, 2007 6:54 pm

>>>

Wahahaha, i understand what this guy was thinking!!
Quote:
<anamexis> oh man
<anamexis> I was opening a coke, right
--> Beefpile (~mbeefpile@cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined #themacmind
<anamexis> and it exploded
<anamexis> ALMOST all over my keyboard
<anamexis> but I got it away just in time
<-- Beefpile has quit (sick fuckers)
<anamexis> :<

LOL

exality · Post by **exality** » Sun Jun 10, 2007 7:48 pm

<Raven> I tried setting my hotmail password to penis.
<Raven> It said my password wasn't long enough.

shadowman20875 · Post by **shadowman20875** » Sun Jun 10, 2007 8:05 pm

Is it just me, or do these idiots have unusually nice spelling and grammar?

Luoma · Post by **Luoma** » Sun Jun 10, 2007 9:58 pm

<JonJonB> Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book
<JonJonB> Let's see the results...

<JonJonB> "Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
<JonJonB> "Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything

<JonJonB> A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.

<JonJonB> "Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
<JonJonB> "Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. "

<JonJonB> Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls

<JonJonB> "Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"

<JonJonB> The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.

<JonJonB> He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.

<JonJonB> He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.

<JonJonB> Ok
<JonJonB> I have found, definitive proof
<JonJonB> that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all
<JonJonB> "Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he?
<melusine > O_______O
<JonJonB> Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang

<JonJonJonB> Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.

<JonJonJonB> 'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.

lol funny stuff!

CrimsonNuker · Post by **CrimsonNuker** » Sun Jun 10, 2007 10:43 pm

Snudge wrote:
<m00> Why does the mexican olympic team suck?
<m00> everyone who can run, jump or swim is already in the US

What are the mexican's favorite sport?

Cross Country.

Ashikiheyun · Post by **Ashikiheyun** » Mon Jun 11, 2007 12:23 am

Luoma wrote:
<JonJonB> Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book
<JonJonB> Let's see the results...

<JonJonB> "Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
<JonJonB> "Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything

<JonJonB> A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.

<JonJonB> "Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
<JonJonB> "Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. "

<JonJonB> Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls

<JonJonB> "Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"

<JonJonB> The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.

<JonJonB> He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.

<JonJonB> He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.

<JonJonB> Ok
<JonJonB> I have found, definitive proof
<JonJonB> that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all
<JonJonB> "Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he?
<melusine > O_______O
<JonJonB> Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang

<JonJonJonB> Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.

<JonJonJonB> 'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.

lol funny stuff!

Now that, was funny!

Priam · Post by **Priam** » Mon Jun 11, 2007 7:15 am

the harry potter thing and the guy playing dress up are amazing.

Deacon · Post by **Deacon** » Mon Jun 11, 2007 8:57 am

Bash is old

Old but good =]

Key-J · Post by **Key-J** » Mon Jun 11, 2007 9:36 am

Ok, now im normally good at sneaking around during class and looking at other sites. But this brought me to my downfall.

However, after the teacher read it. He printed it out and gave each student a copy! XD

Me Thinks Is Best One wrote:<Galactic> you know what's ALWAYS bothered me? cold cereal mascots
<Galactic> I mean that is just some farked UP SHIT
<Galactic> the Trix rabbit, for example
<Galactic> I dunno man... if I were him I'd be Farking KILLING some kids
<Galactic> I remember a commercial where the fuckin rabbit WENT INTO A FUCKIN STORE AND BOUGHT A BOX OF TRIX WITH HIS OWN FUCKIN MONEY.
<Galactic> fuckin kids came outta NOWHERE and basically fuckin mug the poor stupid bitch rabbit
<Galactic> "silly rabbit Trix are for kids"
<Galactic> Fuckin rabbit just sits there and looks depressed.
<Galactic> **** NO that wouldn't fly with me
<Galactic> I'd have pimp-slapped EVERY ONE OF those fuckin bitches
<Galactic> and made them go get me the REST of a "complete breakfast" and eat Trix right in front of them bitches and THEN beat the shit out of them some more.
<Galactic> and wtf is with the disguises? All the dumb rabbit does is hide his ears and all of a sudden he's a fuckin kid?
<Galactic> I dunno about you, but if I SAW a 6 foot fuckin RABBIT with his ears tucked under a baseball cap, I wouldn't immediately think
<Galactic> "Hey, there's a cool lookin human kid, let me go over and share some of my cereal with him"
<Galactic> NO.
<Galactic> I'd be thinking
<Galactic> "that's a 6 foot fuckin RABBIT with his ears tucked under a baseball cap... what the **** was I just smoking?"
<Galactic> another thing... wtf is up with cereal being "A part of this complete breakfast"
<Galactic> last time -I- checked, cereal WAS breakfast
<Galactic> they show a big ass bowl of frosted flakes next to a waffle, a pancake, toast, a banana, a fuckin grapefruit... who the **** eats a breakfast that big
<Flaming_Duck> not me
<Flaming Duck> I don't even EAT breakfast nomore
<Flaming_Duck> I mean, I eat when I get up
<Flaming_Duck> but the whole thought "BREAKFAST IS ONLY SERVED UNTIL SUCH AND SUCH TIME"
<FLaming_Suck> bitch, you make my Farking sausage and egg sandwich when I pay you the Farking money
<Flaming_Duck> don't give me that shit.
<Galactic> Back to stupid cereal mascots...
<Galactic> Lucky Charms.
<Galactic> Farking LUCKY CHARMS
<Galactic> Lucky can turn the Farking MOON into a marshmallow, and he can't escape a bunch of Farking 6 year olds?!?!?
<Galactic> C'mon now, Lucky.
<Galactic> I KNOW your bitch ass has got to have a "Blow the Farking kids up" spell SOMEWHERE
<Galactic> or make "kid marshamllows" and EAT those bitches.
<Galactic> "They're after me Lucky Charms!"
<Galactic> ....
<Galactic> KILL THEM, BITCH!
<Galactic> I dunno why I went off on this rant here
<Galactic> it's just always bothered me."

[SD]Twysta · Post by **[SD]Twysta** » Mon Jun 11, 2007 11:21 am

I didn't move a muscle reading that keyj lol.
Really laughed my ass off on your other quotes tho.

Adebisi · Post by **Adebisi** » Mon Jun 11, 2007 12:59 pm

<JonTG> Man, my penis is so big if I laid it out on a keyboard it'd go all the way from A to Z
<JonTG> wait, shit